Asalam alaikum worahmotu lohi wobarakatuhu.
*IF THE HUSBAND REFUSES TO SPEND ON HIS WIFE'S MAINTENANCE, IS IT PERMISSIBLE FOR HER TO REFUSE TO SHARE HIS BED?*
First of all, it is an obligation for a husband to spend on his wife's maintenance, according to his means. Allah says, "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means." [4:34].
"Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him." [65:7].
And talking about the rights of a wife over her husband, the Prophet (swal'Allahu alaihi wa salam) said, "That you feed her as you feed yourself, clothe her as you clothe yourself, do not strike (her) face, do not disgrace her and if you want to avoid her (by way of disciplining her) do not leave home." [Abu Dawud 2142].
That said, if the husband fails to spend on his wife's maintenance, then she has the choice to leave him or put up with him.
If the man is withholding her maintenance out of meanness and stinginess, or if he is not well off, and she chooses to put up with him in the hope that he will change or until his financial situation improves, then she is not obliged to allow him to be intimate with her.
Shiraaz ash-Shaafa'i said, "If she chooses to stay after he becomes unable to spend on her, she is not obliged to allow him to be intimate with her, and she may leave his house, because allowing intimacy is in return for maintenance, so it is not compulsory when there is no maintenance." [Source: al-Muhadhab fi Fiqh al-Imam ash-Shaafa'i (3/155)].
And Muhammad Najiib al-Mutee'i said, "If it is proven that the husband is no longer able to spend on her, she has the choice of three options:
1- She may cancel the marriage;
2- She may stay with him and allow him to be intimate with her, and it is her right that he should spend on her whatever he is able to spend;
3- She may remain married to him, without having to allow him to be intimate with her - rather she may leave his house, because allowing intimacy is only compulsory upon her when he spends on her maintenance, which he is not doing in this case. However, she is not entitled to maintenance when she is keeping herself away from him because maintenance is only enjoined in return for allowing intimacy, and in this case she is not allowing him to be intimate with her." [Source: Sharh 20/169].
And al-Bahoot said, "She has the right to remain in the marriage and not allow him to be intimate with her, so she does not have to allow intimacy or reside in his house, and he must not detain her; rather he should let her earn money even if she is well-off, because he has not given her anything in return for intimacy with her." [Kashaaf al-Qinaa' 5/477].
Lastly, it is important to note that a wife having a right over a husband does not mean she should exercise it unwisely. Be considerate of the man's situation and if refusing to share a bed with him, it should be for purposes to make him change behaviour or draw his attention. To some men this may increase their anger and thus terminate the marriage. Be considerate.
YAA ALLAH! SAVE THE BROKEN HOMES. Wabillahi taufiq.
Allahumma Aameen
