Helahel

HAFSAH

25 - Sunni

California, United States

Jan 5, 2019 05:56

As-Salaamu 'Alaikum, my name is Hafsah, and I am a college student in California, USA. I work part time in the coffee shop on campus while studying to become an English teacher. Alhamdulillah, I come from a practicing Muslim family and have been raised to be proud of my Islam. I wear my hijab and abaya without fear, and pray my 5 daily prayers, fast, and practice as much as I am able to, though I admit I have room for improvement, with Allah's help.

As for my personality, I would be the first to call myself quirky and unique. In recent years I've become more confident in myself and outgoing, Alhamdulillah. My creativity and resourcefulness are two of my best qualities, as well as my sense of humor and intelligence. I can be a bit selectively social sometimes, but it's not that I'm antisocial or self-absorbed, I just value alone time and have learned to make peace with my own company from time to time.

In my spare time, I enjoy thrifting, creative crafts, reading, baking, and watching various animes online. I have my circles of friends and my family whom I value a lot, and sometimes just spending time with everyone is enough for me. Other times though, I do enjoy going out and actively doing things and having halal fun.

As a young woman, I have been taught the basics of running a house. I can cook and I can clean; I can look after children and handle household responsibilities. With that said, my position on marriage is that things aren't meant to be 50-50, but 100-100, meaning both spouses give their all to make sure everything works out. It's a partnership and well, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is narrated to have helped out in his home with various chores and tasks, so I think with him as the role model, a good marriage would include working out a collaboration of efforts into maintaining every aspect of the household and family in it.

Lastly, because I am a busy college student, I may not always have time to check my messages and reply immediately. Therefore, my older brother will be acting as my wali and speaking on my behalf in the initial stages of our communication. This is not to say that you won't get to hear from me, of course you will In Shaa Allah, but also my brother will be monitoring things for me, so behave


Oh, and bonus point: I love animals, especially giraffes, cats, and rabbits!


As for any potential husband, I am looking for a man who is a practicing Muslim with a down to earth personality. Someone who is patient and easy going, but also likes to have fun. I'm not too picky when it comes to looks, height, or weight, but personality is a big thing for me. For a marriage to work, the two partners need to get along and actively enjoy each other's company, right?

So, I'm going to list some qualities that I like, and hopefully if you can check a few off in yourself, we might be a good match. I need someone who is patient, understanding, supportive, loving, kind, generous, friendly, witty and enjoys banter, able to laugh at himself, geeky, confident, emotionally strong and connectable, helpful, motivated, wise, intelligent (know the difference), and most importantly cares about his deen.

None of us are perfect, but if the main goal of marriage is to find someone to love for the sake of Allah and strive towards Jannah with, then we need to be able to help each other. I'm not expecting to find anyone on the level of the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them), and hopefully no one expects me to be exactly like the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), but those are our role models, so maybe we can try to follow their examples. I need someone who will be patient with me and my flaws, but supportive enough to help me overcome them and improve myself. A barrage of harsh criticisms and constant judgment only detracts from one's desire to do better, so it's important that both partners learn to understand each other and encourage each other in the best ways.

I also need someone who is compassionate and loving. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said if you love your brother [or sister (in deen)] you should tell them. I would think that also includes showing, so someone who isn't afraid to show affection or be kind and take care of the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs of the people they care for. Even the smallest act of kindness has its virtue, so don't be stingy or afraid.


As for qualities I dislike, there are a few. Hopefully you won't check too many of these off. I cannot stand selfishness, greed, intrusiveness (I value my privacy sometimes), controlling, excessive harshness, judgmentalness, rudeness, arrogance, ignorance, extreme stupidity, laziness, overly-senstivity, lack of emotion, overly strict, racism, or unmotivated messes with no aspirations for life.

I want you to want to be someone, and I want to be supportive of that just like I'd hope you would support me in my dreams and goals. I would hope that you have something that you are passionate about, and that family would also be a part of that. One thing I would also hate would be to be made feel like a burden or a regret, so don't do that.

I do believe, to some extent, in the traditional family dynamic, so I would be expecting a husband who works and is the main breadwinner of the house, but I wouldn't be selfish enough to refuse to help out in finances amd such when needed. A good man knows how to provide for his family's needs and how to lead them, not just be a boss and control everything. Mutual respect, trust, and communication are all key elements to maintaining a healthy relationship, so those are very important to me.

Lastly, be fun. As I said, I have a unique sense of humor and I would hope to have a partner in that. Someone who can give and take witty banter in strides, laugh and have a good time with. The occasional sarcastic comment might slip, but all in good fun and not as a stinging humiliation or belittlement (neither I, nor my 3 older brothers, would tolerate any abuse). Be fun, be creative, have a sense of humor and don't be afraid to geek out over certain things of interest. Just don't let me catch you doing the Naruto run down a hall lol.

In Shaa Allah khair, this about sums up what I'm looking for in a general sense. For more details and information, send a message my way and In Shaa Allah my brother or I will respond to you. There are plenty more questions to be asked and more personal details to be given. I hope and pray that by Allah's Mercy we can all find someone suitable and compatible with ourselves to marry and live happy lives with in this world and the next. Ameen.

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