Assalaamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa tabarakatuhu,
I practice Islam actively performing 5x Salat, Zakat, Fasting (e.g. including Day of Arafat, sometimes 10 days Dhul Hijja since I did not make Hajj yet, Ashura, etc.). I try to read at least a Hizb or page of the Holy Qur'an every day, as well as keep my diet essentially Halal (Zabiha), with Kosher or Vegetarian as alternatives. I current take online courses in both Islamic education (Islamic Online University) and It courses (.e.g. Udemy, Edx, Coursera, etc. ) to acquire higher education to be better Muslim and productive member of society. In addition I also read inspiring Islamic materials as well as listen to lectures of Sheikh Abu Usamah At-Thahabi, Amina Bilal Philips, Abdullah Hakeem Quick, Imam Siraj Wahaj, etc. Among my immediate family, Muslim friends, and work colleagues, I am described as humble, educated, tolerant, understanding, and NEVER communicating with profanity, however, I can be straight forward or to the point in rare occasions especially if there is a serious matter(s). I can be funny at times, but even with my humor there is a moral lesson or truth in my humor. Another important trait is that I RARELY get very angry or upset during stressful situations because I realize that events in this life, both good and bad, are a tests from Allah (SWT).
My dress style is modest (Yes, brothers have to observe modesty too not just for sisters), in either Islamic or business attire. Moreover, I limit my contact with members of the opposite gender at work, school, etc., even within online social media such e.g. Facebook, Instagram, etc. Being both introvert characteristics (e.g. INTJ- Introversion, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judgement "Mastermind" based on Mayer-Briggs study) and Muslim, I Neither go to social events with lots of people with intermingling with different genders such as at clubs, night parties, casinos, smoke cigars, cigarettes, electronic or vapor cigarettes, hookah, drink, nor use/experiment with drugs (e.g. Marijuana, K2 - synthetic marijuana,cocaine, Hashish, etc). Instead my recreational activities are more constructive and halal such as reading, researching, learning computer skills, walking, studying languages like Arabic, traveling, etc. However, after marriage , I would engage in additional recreational activities more suitable for families e.g picnics, amusement parks, etc.
As for my view of marriage I do not follow the Hollywood or Bollywood model, instead I follow the hadith:
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."
Source: Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3096 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
Isn't this better than what you see on tv and film?
Probably after reading all of this, you would might get the impression that I am perfect. I am NOT perfect, and I do not know all of Islam and continue to learn. Even knowing a lot of Islam does not make you automatically a good Muslim as we have seen those knowing Islam really well can also fall into issues, etc. So, as I continue to learn more deen(e.g. also purifying my intensions) I could make mistakes or have misunderstandings indadvertedly as I perfect my Islam.
Although I am Not anticipating my match to be a carbon copy of me, she should be of good character and conduct in accordance with Qur'an and Sunnah. That means good manners, clear speech(very little or no profanity), loving, understanding, essential qualities that would make her both a good wife and mother. That does not mean marrying the same culture/race, that does not guarantee a successful marriage. I mean she is intellectually inclined, like acquiring beneficial knowledge, not being distracted by cultural fads, trends, smoking, drinking, clubing, excessive online presence, constant contact with the opposite gender, etc. She sees herself an individual. when there is conflict or issue arises, would seek guidance from Qur'an/Sunnah. So I am looking into compatibility in level of iman or higher:
Aisha may Allah be pleased with her reported that Prophet SAW said: “Make a (good) choice for your seed; marry who are compatible, and marry (your daughters) to them.” (Recorded by Ibn Majah, al-Hakim and Others)
She also acknowledges the correct understanding of the mehr (dowry) and marriage arrangement:
“The best of dowries is the simplest.” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (3279).
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of marriage is the simplest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (3300).
Prophet Muhammad (p) hadith --- The blessing of a woman is in making her engagement EASY and in making her DOWRY AFFORDABLE.”