I'm making this detailed so you can have a good insight before messaging me. I am a man who knows his worth and I do have high expectations as I am able to reciprocate my requirements.
My description in a nutshell:
-Resolute practicing Muslim
-Keeps active and stays in exceptional physical shape
-Seeks Islamic knowledge
Before you read my essay, here are some negatives about me:
-generally won't take initiative to eat fruit or veg unless you place it under my face
-can't function without 6-7 hours of sleep in 24hrs, will be grumpy otherwise
-not a millionaire (yet)
I am a well grounded, easy-going person with a positive attitude towards life and the right mix of traditional and modern values. Big on mind, body and Islamic development - hence I need someone equally driven, ambitious and supportive in this regard. I am also multi-talented and incredibly skilled. I have a sharp mind and great urge to learn and grow in new and exciting ways.
I plan my life around Islam to ensure I'm fulfilling the obligations and as many sunnah acts in my daily life.
I love learning about Islam, as that is the most important thing in my life. I study under a Madina graduate scholar (currently studying Tazkiyah and self development), strive to follow the way of the salaf and I'm trying to become a Hafidh of the Quran (and more importantly, live by the Quran, not just memorise it). I also follow some online classes delivered by respected people of knowledge, and learn Arabic from an Ustadh.
I want to live separately from in laws. My career as a doctor promises financial stability inshaAllah.
I can cook, clean, iron etc... hope you can too
I'm a newly qualified doctor. I aim to work hard, make lots of money, establish myself in my career and develop multiple passive income streams so that I can spend more time with my wife and kids and less time outside working. I want to be there for my kids, and together with my wife, raise them to be successful in this life and the next.
I'm very athletic, strong and in exceptional physical condition. I take care of how I look, watch my weight, keep a low body fat and have a 6 pack year round. I do weightlifting 3-4 times a week and have been doing so for over half a decade. Previously I have been very involved in calisthenics (Google "human flag") as well as sports like rugby and athletics at school etc... and intend to keep active for the remainder of my life إن شاء الله. I think it's important to pay attention to our health and appearance as our body is an amaanah to take care of. We should always be in good shape. I would like to be with someone who goes to the gym/exercises regularly, maintains herself and eats relatively well. I'd love to share the same lifestyle choices with my wife. 20s are meant to be your prime. More details can be discussed privately.
I'm extremely disciplined and goal oriented. I like to introspect and continuously develop my skills and habits - be it in my connection with Allah, Arabic, degree, fitness, health or self development.
I like culture (food, clothes etc) but I'm not cultural at all - I try to view everything with an Islamic filter and keep only that which is compatible with Islam.
I would describe myself as mature, caring, level-headed and emotionally intelligent. I'm very good at reading people and varying my communication styles based on my audience. I enjoy having meaningful conversations with deep insights and love to be surrounded by people who enjoy the same. I am also empathetic and a good listener.
My friends would describe me as very driven, motivational, inspirational and well rounded. Those closest to me describe me as an exceptional individual, mature beyond my years and with a great smile. I have a natural talent for reading people, bringing them joy and comforting them. I am often told of my ability to put people at ease and inject them with energy and passion.
I am very interested in language learning and becoming a polyglot, have previously studied French & German to A level standard, my Urdu is not very strong but I'm keen to improve it in the coming months. My main priority is learning Arabic, and then whichever other languages my wife speaks. In my free time I like to watch Islamic lectures, spend time with family, exercise, get involved in community projects, go out for a munch with friends and most importantly - bunk uni lectures and procrastinate studying 🙃... And yes, despite graduating from med school, I will still have to study to progress through my career, earn further qualifications and generally stay up to date with the latest national treatment guidance... Will you be my go-to procrastination activity
I love travelling and have been abroad to many countries. Recently I have been thinking to prioritise Umrah trips over regular holidays, as I have lots of dreams and high ambitions, so if I'm spending money flying out I may as well fly to the land where dreams come true. If you're down for spontaneous weekends abroad then come through. At the same time I'm not materialistic - a happy minimalist who likes quality.
Sense of humour and wit is super important to me, because when I'm comfortable with a person I love to have fun, joke around and let loose.
I'm naturally introverted with a flair of extroversion when required - such as in leadership positions I have held in university, the cadet force, team sports or in my professional life.
I like going for walks, quiet places, and nature, while also enjoying city life.
I'm a natural leader in life, and likewise I am eager to lead my own family. I have a lot of experience in a breadth of life's spheres, people turn to me for advice and counselling in their situations as I am reliable, resourceful and creative.
And all the good I have are favours from Allah.
Someone who excels in Deen and Dunya.
What's attractive to me is a woman who takes initiative, isn't petty, and focuses on the bigger picture. As a doctor my job is difficult, a wise wife would know how to welcome a man home and be his peace.
Some qualities that are important to me:
1 - Being open to learn each other’s love language and communication: Love is subjective to everyone, we all perceive it differently and I feel like it’s important to know your partners love language and weaknesses just to be a better partner to them, no one’s perfect! Being able to communicate effectively and calmly to solve problems together is also very important to me.
2 - Emotional Intelligence. Being able to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as those of others, is essential in any relationship. It allows for better communication and problem-solving, and helps to create a positive and healthy dynamic between partners. Super important, can’t really be with a person who behaves insensitively or has uncontrollable emotional outbursts.
3 - Respect: Respect is a crucial component of any healthy relationship. A man's primary need is respect, not just in treating him nicely and serving him like a king, but in respecting his decisions, his position as the head of the house and making him feel in charge.
I want a partner who is respectful of my beliefs, values, and boundaries, and who is willing to listen to my perspective and consider my feelings.
4 - Self-Improvement regarding deen: To me, it is important that my partner is constantly striving to improve themselves and grow in their faith. This includes learning more about Islam and living according to its teachings, as well as actively seeking to better themselves as an individual and have a stronger connection with Allah. There’s always room for improvement and it’d be nice to have a sense of encouragement and support in all aspects be it, religion, fitness, career etc...
5 - Pleasing to the heart and the eyes
6 - Hayaa. Not just in clothing, rather also in speech and actions.
7 - Kind and Warm-hearted: Being compassionate is an important foundation of a healthy relationship. Being gentle and patient allows the other person to be themself.
8 - Humor: If you can make each other laugh at any given moment, you can overcome differences and challenging phases way quicker. Being playful with each other can always brighten your day!
9 - Enjoys an active lifestyle: Who wouldn’t mind a workout buddy for life?! It’s way more fun when you achieve physical goals together. Working out has helped me on my worst days so I believe it’s crucial for a good mental health. I very much value my health and physical appearance - I would like for my wife to do the same, be it through sports, going to the gym etc...
10 - Loyalty: Loyalty is also an important quality for me in a spouse. I want someone who is committed to our relationship and who is willing to work with me to overcome any challenges that may arise.
11 - Trust: Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, and I am looking for a partner who is honest and reliable. I want someone who is open and transparent with me, and who is willing to work together to build and maintain trust in our relationship.
I want a wife who ideally (if not meeting all criteria, at least is willing to make a start etc):
- Sunni who follows the creed of the prophet and the 3 golden generations
- Follows the Quran and Sunnah while implementing as much as they can
- someone who continually remembers Allah and actively chooses to please Allah and resist their desires
- is supportive, loving, gentle, well mannered, honest
- plus points if you're exciting, insightful and patient
- someone who has a strong grasp over their thoughts
- can communicate her needs and wants effectively
- someone who can be trusted with responsibilities
- has a good foundation in their understanding of the deen
- wants to seek Islamic knowledge and strives to implement it
- wants to constantly improve her relationship with Allah (e.g. pray the 12 sunnan, recite morning and evening adhkar etc...)
- will strive to keep the love alive in our marriage and knows the importance of intimacy for spouses
- who understands that her husband and children are her priority
- will strive to raise righteous children and build a strong Islamic home
- ideally knows the Islamic rights and responsibilities of the spouses
- is mature and has done a good amount of self development
- has a nurturing, feminine nature
- attractive, loyal, classy, confident, sweet, eloquent, intelligent
- stays fit/takes care of health, if not - is willing to make a start iA, and I do prefer my girls to be on the taller side, but not a major requirement
- open to any ethnicity
- preferably degree educated
- preferable if you lived a private lifestyle - as I do
- preferable if you speak Arabic or willing to learn it (I am learning it)
- someone who knows how to treat a man. How to respect, support and drive him forwards
I don’t believe in arguments, I believe in disagreements which can be sorted out with communication. I want a lady who can acknowledge wrongs within herself and actively try to change them. I find maturity attractive.
I will reciprocate all of the above
I intend to have a small, simple, sunnah nikkah - no extra cultural ceremonies, music, dancing or freemixing at my wedding please (or in general), let's keep it fun and pleasing to Allah
I am looking for someone who does not celebrate mawlid/khatams/Christmas/birthdays or any other things apart from the two Eids.
I am a romantic, aspire to be best friends with my wife and live "that dreamy life" together. I firmly believe that with Allah's tawfeeq and then if we do things right, we can have an exceptional marriage. Some couple activities I'd love to do together include:
- seeking knowledge
- cooking together
- revising and refreshing our Quran hifdh
- the rest can be discussed later, privately
These are my deal-breakers:
Must pray 5x daily, including when going out or working or socialising
Must not freemix/have any friends of the opposite gender
Must engage in some form of fitness/sports/gym to take care of physical health and appearance
Must not celebrate Milads/Khatams/Birthdays etc…
Must not listen to music
Must not be a fanatic of TV/Netflix/Movies, if you have social media you must strive to avoid watching or listening to haram on those platforms
Must wear correct hijab infront of non-mahrams - i.e. no makeup/adornments, loose fitting clothes which don't show your body shape, no eye-catching clothing or decorations
Must be a virgin
Must not have had any relationships before marriage
Must not be boring
Must be able to cook - I'm a busy man and I can cook, so if you can't you need to step up your game 😂
Must not be looking to take out a riba-based mortgage