Helahel

YUSUF DAGDEMIR

39 - Sunni

Kayseri, Turkey

Mar 28, 2024 15:04

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

As there isn't any section which clarifies our marital status here, I can start with telling it first. Till the end of 2021 I was a widower without kids and that time I got married from another matrimonial website again. Still I don't have kids as she was against that. (I recently finished divorcing process and I became ready to get married officially alhamdulillah). She insisted to convince me that we are matching while I got an intuition at first when I saw her that she was seeming very depressed. Short after getting married her depression came with a strong impact and she wanted to end for both of our sake while continuing to respect me much. I think, one of the biggest reasons of me having two struggling marriages is to not be able to say no when facing with people in poor conditions. Also I might be weaker about manipulations but this time I guess I took my lesson well. Actually I was a guy who was already receiving good amount of proposals or meeting requests while being in mixed gender environments and while I was particular about gender segregation but after starting to be in "guys only" areas, my family and friends lacked finding matching girls which made me to start using these platforms even while I was single.

Here I am only searching for marriage and with a partner who can help me to be a better muslim as most of the marriages nowadays take us away from our real purpose unfortunately. Here I especially mean to be supportive about what I am doing in Risale-i Nur madrasas which are a kind of dawah organization and where I started to participate many years ago while there will be a modest income inshaAllah which lets me to invest my time this way. (if needed, relocation is not an issue for this and travelling in a spiritually benefiting way can be an exception)
Related with above, especially since a couple of years I am trying to quit habits and activities which are harmful religiously and which are not giving us a better perception but still I might be enjoying this life more than others while seeking a deeper meaning and benefit in every activity.
Since a long time we spend warmer half of the year in a beautiful coastal town of Turkiye where I go out to the sea almost every day and spend time with kayaking, fishing and swimming except the days I am participating dawah center activities in a nearby town. Other half of the year we live in a slightly big city named Kayseri which is in the colder regions of Turkiye where I am trying to participate our madrasa activities daily.
(For those girls who got bored from hot climates and thinking to benefit from getting married with a cold climate country resident guy, I can be a total disappointment : ) The heat I am experiencing due to very humid hot summers of our town and the outdoor activities I do is beyond most other hot climate country conditions. My late wife was living both in Malaysia and Saudi and she struggled here more than them with us ⌒_⌒

About my personality, In general it seems I am reflecting people's behaviour and feelings after amplifying them ^_^ Due to this emotional amplifier I respond angrily towards offensive behaviour outside but at home and towards kind people, kids and women I think I am more patient than most of the guys. The same feature can turn me into a slave towards kind attitude as well and when I see some affection and love I can payback with much stronger emotions and show an endless interest. It is something hard to find I think and it is already a serious expectation of mine to find a girl who seeks this primarily in a marriage as I would like give much in terms of a relationship to my future wife. It was already going well in our madrasas about religious activities and deeds but this expectation of mine made me to decide to get married. In short words I can say I am expecting these two features as minimal requirements; one is to help both of our religious improvement and second is expecting a deeper relationship (sorry for being materialistic about this but I also appreciate beauty more than it should be) Having deep conversations about religion, spirituality, psychology, sociology and arts would be big perks. I was almost forgetting to mention outdoor activities. If you are enjoying them much we can even go for an expedition in future like paddling or walking to Saudi for hadj or any kind of journey for spiritual purposes.
As I started to talk about my weird ideas I can say; I struggled much to accept the actual condition of our society and most of the time I tried to find a solution at least for a short diameter around me. At first I missed the chance to join police department only because of the age limit with a couple of months while I was 23. Then tried to create a group against bad guys but only managed to meet with bad guys who wanted create a group with me ^_^ The idea behind was unique but I was searching members in the wrong places probably.
Then I tried to find support for a muslim village idea but like the gang, again I couldn't find people to participate. And then thought to minimize the target as relocating to a remote area as a couple after finding a likeminded girl. After hadj I focused on the dawah organization much more but I am still open to the village idea and living alone as a family in nature

+ I don't mind about the height much but if you mind I am 189 Alhamdulillah
+What I am not expecting is house chores and cooking. I lived alone for several years and can offer an enough to survive level of service if you are not into that much
+ My financial condition is good enough to support a modest marriage without working daily due to the real estate investments we run together with parents which also can provide an additional income in future inshaAllah
+ I would prefer if you can inform your family as early as possible about me and the idea of getting married this way
+ I felt the need to write a bit about my marriage as it seems to cause some hesitation expectedly. I know it sounds weird but I got married because of feeling responsible to support my late wife as a cancer patient that time. It was struggling while she was so precious but now I am feeling completely ready for this.
+ As a reference, I got married from a muslim matrimonial website that time as well and she was a Pakistani Malaysian.
+I am supporting gender segregation in Sunnah and trying to live according to that. Being over protective is more like a downside of me. Public spaces which seems to include disrespectful people makes me feel this way.
+ If we decide to stay in my hometown I prefer to live in the same house with my parents while they are very kind and our house is having a partially separated section but still it can be flexible depending on circumstances. For parents in law I can offer the same inshaAllah and try my best to help taking care of them if needed
+ Probably I am seeming so weird here but actually I am a guy who is trusted and appreciated by his friends much but I couldn't reflect a similiar profile probably.
+I think anyone who seeks deep conversations and intellectuality can be completely satisfied by my thoughts but it doesn't mean I will go that deep at the very beginning. There are some essential but unfortunately superficial issues which I try to discuss first and better to not make early assumptions.
+ As long as there isn't a travel ban due to pandemic or serious visa issues, I can travel to your country fast and easy

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