Helahel

Calm down

Calm down

nadeen91 Created Jun 5, 2015 06:40
28 Comments

i am tired of people who ask my hand in marriage on the first day, i am a lady i am not an object u see in the market. You should respect me and treat me like a lady.

 

This topic has 36 comments

zikas01

Jun 5, 2015 07:53

you are absolutely right you have all the right to respect you to treat you as a lady no one can deny that

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Deleted User

Jun 5, 2015 11:53

I think such people are not serious, they just don't appreciate the gravity of what they're saying.

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nightingale

Jun 5, 2015 12:12

nadeen i hear you totally.it's like a fish market!

rahat

Jun 5, 2015 12:43

Yes you are right, some of the people here are not that serious as they should be, its easy to find a scammer rather a serious one

patient_man

Jun 6, 2015 05:25

As salaamu alaykum.

This site has its fair share of scam artists and fish sellers (I love that "fish market" quote) but from the comments on this topic, it's clear that there are also some sensible people who sincerely desire marriage within the halal. Thus, may Allaahu Ta'ala guide us to those that are good for our Deen and our hearts - Aameen.

Let's all be prayerful, patient and wise in how we use this site in shaa Allaah.

Barakallaahu feek.

Amshaikh

Jun 6, 2015 14:49

May Allah svt make it easy for all of us and pair us with Sahih people. May Allah guide all of us

Ameen

Aisa777

Jun 6, 2015 16:12

As Salam Alaikam!!! Don't kiss up to her. Why you got to be a fish at a fish market? Women are full of crap these days. They all say they want to get married, then make it impossible for the Muslim men to be happy. I knew a sister who was from Palestine married with 3 children and left her husband to come over here and be a a kufar in America then got stuck here and spends all her time at the Masjid seeking forgiveness. This is proof that women say they want romance but if a brother is taken by their beauty (even with hijab mind you) then they all of a sudden aren't comfortable. That is because their eyes are the eyes at the fish market, and we Muslim men are the fish. They can't decide on which fish to get so they feel like they're being pressured to purchase. Sad of the Ummah but it has let us all down. No one will find marriage on this site or any other 9 times out of 10. Allah put us here to struggle with love in life. Once this life is over then, you'll find a suitable spouse. Allah created our real spouses of a special creation in Heaven. this life is just for settling with whoever Allah wills to marry you whether you love or approve of them or not. As Salam Alaikam.

nadeen91

Jun 7, 2015 07:23

i did not ask for your opinion, so please kindly take your negative energy and leave.

nadeen91

Jun 7, 2015 07:23

i did not ask for your opinion, so please kindly take your negative energy and leave.

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Deleted User

Jun 7, 2015 07:32

lots of people are jockers and some just dont know what they want,it would be better if they took a breather and figure things out,but inshaAllah when u find half ur deen,it will be the right person,from the right place, anyone who believes they wount find their spouse here should leave and inshaAllah they will get elsewhere.

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Deleted User

Jun 7, 2015 10:12

Nadeen..Respect comes from respected people those who don't respect you are themselves not respected.Simple is that you shouldn't reply to their messages if they keep bothering you then block them and this is not face to face communication through which a person ask directly for marriage.For the relation like on Internet,time has to be spent to know one another better.

algeriano

Jun 7, 2015 13:45

i'm not sure if you remember me but i wanted to know you more before i decide ,but what you said is true

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Deleted User

Jun 7, 2015 21:05

Assalamu aleikum.
I think a guy asking you for a hand of marriage is respecting and serious about you after few' get to know each other' chats
Guys who ask for in appropriate photos, s*x, date,phone no.,silly personal questions(e.g are u a virgin) ...are the ones that think of you as an object to view & play around with

What do u think ladies?

ibrahim

Jun 8, 2015 14:48

Everybody is entitle to your opinion but i think that those who rush on asking a hand for narriage are really the serious one. Since the site is for metting partners.

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Deleted User

Jun 9, 2015 08:55

time is precious...long time chat is the waste of time. i also offer u direct... i love u to see. if u are realy serious for marriage lets talk.

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Deleted User

Jun 9, 2015 08:57

in our language a saying" dialog little , toooon toooon much"

humandme

Jun 9, 2015 09:12

slam alaikum all...

SUBHAN ALLAH......the one brother spoke the truth got asked to leave and called a negative dude .... obviously am gonna follow him.....

Have we all forgotten that it's not even Islamicly Allowed to talk to a woman without a Mahram only after Marriage or Engagement ..... SUBHAN ALLAH all are asking,persuiting and asking for GOOD other half.......

DON'T PEOPLE READ THEIR HOLLY QUR'AN ANY MORE......it's in their...

(( Evil words are for evil men, and evil men are [subjected] to evil words. And good words are for good men, and good men are [an object] of good words. Those [good people] are declared innocent of what the slanderers say. For them is forgiveness and noble provision. )) 24:26 Surat An-Nur......

just be good and you will be rewarded same wise...

Some sisters and brothers here are right and IT IS the righteous way......

Sister -The Topic Author- .... Believe me -or not,you are indeed entitled to seek the kind of men you are seeking- ...... am just saying cause i saw some wrong and we should all follow the lead of those who passed us......Abu ‘Ali Ad Daqqaq (rahimahu ALLAH) -a saint of the past said:
The one who is silent about the truth is a dumb Shaytan....Whoever remains silent from the truth is a dumb devil..........

SO.....ALL BE SERIOUS....FOR YOUR OWN SAKE........NOT FOR THE RANDOM STRANGER WHO SEND YOU A MESSAGE SAYING...WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK...... BUT HEY....WE NEVER KNOW......HE/SHE MIGHT BE THE ONE TO SHARE ONE ROOF WITH YOU SISTER/BROTHER................................................................................................


UNTIL YOU START BELIEVING THAT THERE IS GOOD IN PEOPLE......YOUR EIMAN/FAITH WON'T BE COMPLETE.............


STAY BLESSED ALL...........

SLAM ALAIKUM



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Deleted User

Jun 9, 2015 14:34

This thread is full of drama lol.

Mo Sali

Jun 10, 2015 08:45

Say What ! Drama queens. lol

Mo Sali

Jun 10, 2015 08:45

Like water through a hose pipe, these are the days of our lives. LOL

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nightingale

Jun 10, 2015 22:31

looooollllllzzzzz

Imran

Jun 11, 2015 10:22

What are you people talking about the sisters says im tired of people asking for my hand in marriage sister what do you want them to ask you.

No wonder your still single lol

nadeen91

Jun 11, 2015 16:18

i am glad, u have all taken out some time to share your opinions and i appreciate that and i respect everyone's opinion. I shall clarify up a few things and put this thread to an end; We live in a society where women are being undermined and viewed as objects , where women are expected to kiss the feet of the men, where women are thought to look down when a man is talking , where it is abnormal for a woman to ask to get to know the man who intends to marry her, where she is expected to just say yes and get on with it, where herself worth is defined by her outer beauty rather than what is within. Call me old fashion or not but i believe in love, i believe in the gradual process of getting to know each other, i believe in the gradual stages where u start to realize u have found the right person for you, cause those are the best stages of a relationship, the times where u learn the little things that make them happy and what makes them sad Every one's living life without actually living it, we are all rushing and we miss the best part of life. I would rather be old fashion than any fashion. Thank u and may Allah bless u all...

NISSOU10

Jul 8, 2015 06:14

U're right ,,,they should ask for ur friendship first ;;;isn't it !!

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Deleted User

Jul 8, 2015 23:58

I don't agree with you at all.
It's because you are a lady men ask you for marriage.
what other reason would for ex a guy like me to contact you unless it's for marriage reasons.

Are you here to make friends then try Facebook.
Am here only to find a wife nothing else.

So don't be bothered by Muslim guys wanting to marry you, feel lucky that they at least ask you for your hand and not n*de pics.

LOOKING FOR A WIFE.......

Jul 10, 2015 16:05

Sallams all

What a load of rubbish i am reading here.

nadeen91
your opinions are correct but why you are refusing to marry this man,
i wonder
are you looking for a prince charming or a millionaire i think you are on the wrong site i think its time you just forget marriage as your requests have put a lot of peoples minds in reverse and from my knowledge i have got emails from this and many other marriage sites asking what is my wealth and whether i will be able to give my wife for long holidays but when i ask what if we just go for hajj rather than waste money and time on holidays she just says no.

we all get many emails but the person who asked you for marriage is a real man and does not like to waste time and the guidance of islam he must be very much genuine
Please sister
do us a favour go and get his hand or you will always think you lost a star man while looking at the moon.
May Allah guide you in the best way Ameen

ALIWISEMIND ke

Sep 14, 2021 17:27

Actually, men and women don't think the same. Women are emotional, the prefer to talk more first so as they get the chemistry, they feel secure and understand their partner.
I agree, we should build the friendship first
But ladies, understand men also, for us we think if we are both each other, then we should directly move to our intended purpose. We don't the reason of "wasting". You know why, sisters, men are insecure. We think you'll get another man, so, we want commitment
If men speak the truth, their heart, you blush them off saying they are negative. But its true, almost everyman has negative attitude towards ladies
The only difference is that your positive men hide the feelings and try to speak what you want. But, trust me, we have the same notion about you
Thats explain why good men are desperate. They talk what you need to know, what right and its sound negative, you put them down. Bud guys hide the truth from you and you think its what you want, positivity, only a mature woman, I believe, who reason can disclose this
That why you are even fighting some verses and hadith cause they don't please you and you are looking for support.
In truth, what we hate may be good for us, what we love may be bad for us
99% of the people, men and women, don't like criticism. Anyone who speak a diff language is branded negative. Lets reason up, in stead of looking for supporters, lets think what the other person is trying to communicate. I call that maturity.
Wabillahi tawfiq

Amir

Sep 14, 2021 23:46

Can I have your hand in marriage?

Abrar Qureshi

Sep 15, 2021 18:28

@Ali brother Ali assalamu alaikum. By the way how deep did you dig down the helahel forum hole? 😛

Max

Sep 16, 2021 05:44

Well, sister forgive me for being honest and please accept my advice, if you act like a gem no one would dare to treat you like a fish in the market or like any other object. I've read about hijab and I understand it, what people don't seem to understand that hijab is mainly about protecting women, especially from situations like that, more than protecting men from fitnah. So try to treat yourself as a valuable gem even if the whole world try to tell you that you should expose your beauty to the world to seem free or independent, strong, valuable or whatever word they use to sell it to you. Have a great day.

ALIWISEMIND ke

Sep 16, 2021 06:04

@Max, its very true, I heard seen a verse like that. Protection is from them. I also saw link to a video in this forum about the difference btn a hijabi woman walking along the street and the same woman walking the same street without hijab...Indeed, its for your protection. The say, respect is earned not given. Your dressing speaks a lot
Also, don't be fooled to play hard to get. Even according to psychology; its valueless. I don't treat you special simply because it was difficult to find you at the first place. Read Tumbo Lisiloshiba, Through Dadi, you'll read what mean think and how women think. In stead of playijg this game, you better check for compatibility. The greatest disdvantage is that you are not provuding conducive environment for checking characters and...Men realise you are not what they want after getting you because they were busy chasing you
Hijab is less about fitnah because men are asked to lower their gaze. They still have feelings for you even when you are covered cause...haven't you seen, a man is aroused yet there is no woman anywhere
You're just catalyzing their arousal...Protect yourself and you'll get the right partner, inshaallah
Also, remember the sins you are getting from each man when seduced or they commit other sins...not necessarily with you, but you are the cause, wabillahi tawfiq

ALIWISEMIND ke

Sep 16, 2021 06:13

O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.

Qur'an (33:59)
You see, ALLAH SAYS,...you'll be recognised and be abused...He didn't say about protecting men from fitna though its the fitna that sometimes make you be abused. Its for your own good actuallt, not us. You directly, us indirectly

ALIWISEMIND ke

Sep 16, 2021 06:15

A WOMAN IN A HIJAB, OR WITHOUT A HIJAB ?? FEEL THE DIFFERENCE

ABU MARYAM.SALAFI.
CREATED JUL 30, 2021 03:17
3 COMMENTS

https://youtu.be/mgw6y3cH7tA
That is the link

ALIWISEMIND ke

Sep 16, 2021 06:19

@Abrar Qureshi...Waalaykum salaam warahmatullah wabarakatuh,
Alhamdulillah, I searched and stipp searching whatever page I want. Btw, its simple...
Click next so as you go to page 2 and then you edit the link, you change the page number and you search...for example...

ALIWISEMIND ke

Sep 16, 2021 06:21

https://www.helahel.com/forum/?page=2&filter=0

Page=2, edit that, lets say 43
https://www.helahel.com/forum/?page=43&filter=0

ALIWISEMIND ke

Sep 16, 2021 06:31

@Amir, I have seen some men proposing to women publicly or proposing during events like graduation, after buying cars
Sisters, this is a very big red flag. Its manipulative. A good man should give you time to think and decide on your own. They play with your emotions, unfortunately, you're emotional.
Always, if you feel a man is moving you very fast, pause them and agree at your conceniency
Hurriness is from sheitwan, politeness is from Allah. Buy your time, don't decide in uncomfortable environment
Its like, manipulators prefer calling or meeting you in person to persuade you even if you don't want. They hate texts because its gives time to reason. Be aware

 

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