It's time to talk about Money

It's time to talk about Money

Pkewakeb Created Feb 16, 2015 16:27

My Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Since I have had lots of experience at trying to find a suitable match online, one of the things we need to be aware of is that men will rudely ask you about money , your financial situation, where do you get money from, How much you earn, how do you pay your bills, etc. This is a long list of insults, poor breeding and unislamic behavior. Why have we forgotten the life and manners of our dearly beloved Prophet?

It is the responsibility of the male to provide for the females in his family. The possession of the female are hers and hers alone and if she wishes to share them with you she will and there is no problem with it. Brothers what are your motives in seeking this kind of information? Is it to determine if the status of the female is sufficient to be your mate? Is it because you cannot afford to maintain a household without her help? Our Prophet and our Holy Book ask us to seek a mate based on piety, no beauty, money, etc. Have you forgotten that it is Shaitan who attempts to frighten you with poverty? Have you given up on the mercy, grace, generosity and benevolence of our Creator?

These things are in such poor taste. Please think about the fact that this woman you are talking to is the one that you wish to have respect you for many years to come and she will also rear your children to respect you as well. Is this the picture you want her to have of you? How will she ever respect you? Who are we learning our life lessons from? Who are we imitating in our actions? This kind of behavior is crude, rude, and unseemly especially of a Muslim, We are the people who know who the real God is and this is how we portray what we have been taught.....? Please correct your actions and most of all your intentions.


This topic has 8 comments

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Mar 10, 2015 12:38

Well said

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Deleted User

Mar 12, 2015 07:55

We want more people like you in islam and in this forum.Jazakum Allah khairan.

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Deleted User

Mar 17, 2015 12:30

I also agree with these given remarks that good

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Deleted User

Mar 17, 2015 14:10

My father taught me a simple rule. He said the man who doesnt bring Halal food in the table is not a man. The only time you ask you wife to work if her basic demands are fulfilled and she asks for more (Gold, expensive house, brand new car,) in short wanna live like queen.

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Mar 18, 2015 06:42

Asalaam Alaikum all,everything has been made clear concerning the duties of a man and a woman in the family.Man is the provider in a family.However,if a woman is blessed with wealth and sees that it will be appropriate for her to use her wealth to support a man that she has fallen in love with then there is no problem so long as it her own volition.There are four characteristics that you can marry a woman for.one of them is her wealth.Don't forget that Khadija radhi Allahu anha married our our Beloved Prophet Salalahu Alayhi Wasalaam however,He was poor but honesty.There is nothing wrong if a woman from a wealth family loves a man from a poor family and supports him in order for him also to work hard and establish himself.The bottom line however,is that a man is the bread winner.


Mar 20, 2015 09:20

Asalamo alay kum all

I fully agree with all your comments on this platform but you must understand that we also leave in the modern world where times are hard and many women want to know how settled you are so she can judge you to be her husband or not.

as many of you have said a lot about what islam says and guides.

but i beilieve that in todays world you should ask any woman that today if i have good income you are prepared to be my wife and if tommorrow i have nothing then are you still going to be by my side or not.

alhamdulillah an honest Allah fearing wife will tell you i dont want anything but just your love and a good family bringing children

yes the wife is the queen in her house and if she wants to work i see no harm but the husband should not force her to work and support the household.
it is the responsbility of the man to do this.

alhamdulillah i have found a wife soon to be married to her and i am really proud to her answers when i asked her what you want for maher to make you my wife

she simply answered in such soft words and to my amazement that left me speechless lost for words and tears in my eyes

she said i do not want anything but you must promise whenever it is possible and practical you must take me for hajj that will be my maher from you.

Now you know it is always possible to find such women as well and sincerely thank Allah swt for giving such a woman to be my wife and inshallah i have promised her to take her for haj

it is difficult to find such a woman but not impossible
by the way she comes from a very poor family and she also works to make ends meet.

good luck to all.

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Mar 20, 2015 12:02

Asalaam Alaikum to you all.MashaAllah,that is great.It is indeed very rear to find such kind of persons in the contemporary world .However,they are there.Sincerely there are people who fear Allah and the day of judgement and due to the prevailing challenges and temptations in the world,they are ready and willing to get married so that this can help them lower their gaze.
Surely our religion has made things simple and easy however,we are the ones who complicate them out of worldly and material wealth which can accompany us to the grave.I feail to understand when we descriminate others on the basis of financial status,race,family background which dont have a basis in Islam.Genuinly anyone who wants to marry will not impose tough measures and conditions for them to get marriage.Remember marriage is about compromising each others position so that you come to a common ground accepted by both of you.
Sure Allah will grant tranquility,love,and understanding in that marriage.Insha Allah may Allah soften our hearts so that we understand each other.


Sep 14, 2021 18:06

@LOOKING FOR A WIFE, thanks for sharing your experience with us. I believe, women are more than men and every man, can get a partner, inshaallah. It might be hard to get her, but I believe, there are there, lets not give up, brothers. May Allah bless you with good and longlasting marriage
@PKEWAKEB, I agree with you. Its not that life is hard, it was even in the past. Lets accept its our duty to the reason of Allah's provision. Her money is hers, just like mahr, she can only support you when she wants
You shouldn't stop her from working, if she is. Someone suggested, if she earns Sh. 100K per month and you want her leave her job, you should pay her Sh. 100K per month cause you had no good reason to stop her
I suggested you involve her in your business so as you walk the journey together, if she agrees. She'll understand how the real world look like and hopefullt, she'll be more appreciative and see herself useful, not just a s*x tool or toy. If you have a you tube channel...
Lets be more positive, lets not quit. I know, bad guys are more patient and get them. Good guys quit so early and expect to get them. Lets change, and we'll find the right person, inshaallah


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