Helahel

Is is best to stay singgle or get marriage?

Is is best to stay singgle or get marriage?

PrettyAsian Created May 25, 2022 14:26
103 Comments

What makes us want to get married or stay single?

 

This topic has 131 comments

PrettyAsian

May 26, 2022 10:23

We get angry due to being scared or misunderstanding. Most of us lie to gain a upper hand.

PrettyAsian

May 26, 2022 14:24

Why do lies make us angry?
Emotions tied to our survival instinct. Lying triggers the same neural systems as feeling threatened. Being lied to violates trust, which is more valuable.

PrettyAsian

May 26, 2022 14:52

Can anyone share their view?

Haider

May 26, 2022 14:57

We lie because we fear

Haider

May 26, 2022 14:58

We use to of lies and cannot separate truths

PrettyAsian

May 26, 2022 16:51

@Haider
All the point you made is correct.

PrettyAsian

May 26, 2022 20:02

Due to circumstances, we end up lying to ourself than to others.

PrettyAsian

May 26, 2022 21:05

One oof my quote is:

Speaks with enlightenment do not talk with ignorance.
Do not answer without understanding which shows a lack of wisdom.

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Deleted User

May 26, 2022 22:18

Why do you liie, ask yourself. There are Islamic articles on lying on the internet that can give information on covering and lying. Enjoy ya learning.

PrettyAsian

May 27, 2022 10:27

I do not know who the last messaging person is. May be did not understand the theme of the conversation.

PrettyAsian

May 27, 2022 16:19

Are conspiracy lies or just a misunderstand?

Seyed Farzad

May 27, 2022 16:20

It is better Master Abu Maryam to answer this question

PrettyAsian

May 27, 2022 19:26

Seyed Farzad@ I have already written an academic response to this. I just wanted to hear from people from this group what they think.

PrettyAsian

May 27, 2022 23:00

How do we tell is smeone is not telling you the truth?

Seyed Farzad

May 28, 2022 00:48



PrettyAsian

There is a selfie scientist in this site who can explain better . He is Einstein of the time
Abu Maryam is scientist of Islam
Abu Maryam main technique is selfie and communication with two worlds based on hypnosis and flight

PrettyAsian

May 28, 2022 01:00

@Seyed Farzad
I am not looking for any expert view. I am just want to know what an average person understands.

Reza Fathi

May 28, 2022 04:12

Hi, Lying can have many causes. Which depends on the condition of its properties. For example, the reason why a coward and a brave person lie is different, or the lie of a benevolent person is different from that of an evil person. Or who you are and for what reason and in what condition. In any case, lying is a kind of inability to face the real situation. And the more powerless people are, the more they use lies.

PrettyAsian

May 28, 2022 09:10

@Reza Fathi

Wise words. I am a Social Scientist (Psychologist). I like listening to average people and trying to understand from an average person’s experience and views as their knowledge is factually based on experience. Rather than a prepared speech. Thank you for your information.

One of my quote
“We are mindless enslaved people in the modern world of manipulation.”

I would like to hear from other people about how they coped with disappointments.

PrettyAsian

May 28, 2022 16:57

any comments from others?

Gujjar

May 28, 2022 19:05

We get Angry because mostly when we are wrong and noticed by other who is near to us.

PrettyAsian

May 28, 2022 19:18

@Gujjar

I agree.

Reza Fathi

May 29, 2022 04:00

The most powerful people on earth have been the divine prophets. Because God was the supporter of their words and behavior. And whoever God supports, he is the strongest human being and the most truthful of them all.

PrettyAsian

May 29, 2022 09:11

@Reza Fathi
right

PrettyAsian

May 29, 2022 18:18

Most females' culture negatively impacts their social life, and they cry silently without hope. Am I right or wrong? Could someone explain?

Gujjar

May 30, 2022 10:21

This only women can explain you brother @prettyAsian
Because its feeling you are asking about

PrettyAsian

May 30, 2022 13:08

@Gujjar

I did not understand the comment. If you are talking about prettyAsian. I am prettyAsian lol. Unless I understood you. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Gujjar

May 30, 2022 13:22

I mean your question only female can explain het feelings her crying silently

PrettyAsian

May 30, 2022 16:14

@Gujjar
I have already questioned many females. They have given me the answer. Everyone experience is not the same.

PrettyAsian

Jun 1, 2022 08:39

Looks like no one else has nothing to say.

Haider

Jun 1, 2022 13:22

Brother I like to talk sometimes with kind of educational
What about if we go on other social media platform

Haider

Jun 1, 2022 13:22

I mean Insta

Nabeel-90

Jun 2, 2022 04:20

Be careful for lying is worse than fornication (please don't go backwards saying hey we lie so why not fornicate rather we should avoid lying more than we avoid fornication).

Lying is a sign of a hypocrite (منافق). A believer (مؤمن) never lies.

Nabeel-90

Jun 2, 2022 04:31

Please read the following Ahadith.

Saheeh Muslim 210 (58 International number)
& 211 (59).

Nabeel-90

Jun 2, 2022 04:39

Read "Bukhari" 4425.

Men are supposed to lead & not the other way around. The problem is that the men in power today have manipulated the social dynamics. Giving women a false sense of empowerment exposing them to the "wolves" as women are more gullible & vulnerable to the manipulation.

PrettyAsian

Jun 2, 2022 10:30

@Nabeel-90
Ma sha Allah deep valuable words
Jizak Allah Kharaaan for sharing.

PrettyAsian

Jun 2, 2022 13:28

Ma sha Allah I have found most of the men in this group to be smart. I am waiting for any sisters to make comments.

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Deleted User

Jun 2, 2022 18:34

I lie when I try to avoid misunderstanding, have fear or just to escape. I got angry when I found my self being wrongly judged ,treated or walking in wrong path...

PrettyAsian

Jun 2, 2022 18:57

@neim
Jizak Allah Khairaan for your participation. I welcome all views. I am a Social Scientist (Psychology). I want to learn from other people experience. I am not looking for any expert.

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 2, 2022 21:33

@nabeel

Read "Bukhari" 4425.

Men are supposed to lead & not the other way around. The problem is that the men in power today have manipulated the social dynamics. Giving women a false sense of empowerment exposing them to the "wolves" as women are more gullible & vulnerable to the manipulation.


Men can’t even lead their own households now as women want equal rights. If a man tries to lead they get accused of bullying or being coercive. We live in difficult times.

Regarding lying it’s best not to put yourself in a position where you need to lie. I must ask if one has committed sin isn’t it better to deny it and repent to Allah than confess and not move past the shame?

One may lie to protect someone from the truth. One may lie to protect themselves from the truth..

PrettyAsian

Jun 3, 2022 11:25

@Never_stop_dreaming

Ma sha Allah. Good comment.

May I have your permission to use your quote

"One may lie to protect someone from the truth. One may lie to protect themselves from the truth".

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 3, 2022 12:24

@prettyAsian

Sure go ahead. I think a lie falls broadly in them two categories or a bit of both..

PrettyAsian

Jun 3, 2022 12:31

@Never_stop_dreaming

I added to your quote in my version

"The source of evil is never the source of truth".

I have written a book over 137 quotes (not published).

I am looking for new inspiration. Jizak Allah Khairaan you helped me ma sha Allah.

PrettyAsian

Jun 3, 2022 13:21

I would really like to understand different countre's cultures and how it may conflict with their religous views and practices and the impact of differece between males and females.

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 3, 2022 14:59

I don’t think gender, culture or religion comes into it. We are all human and have the same instincts

PrettyAsian

Jun 3, 2022 15:39

Certain females who have been oppressed normally blame their religion or culture because they experience traumatised events. However, if someone experiences the positive side of life, their views are totally different.

We do have bad and good cultural practices. For example, some people's religious traditions are dominantly based on cultural views and practices. In some cases, vulnerable people and mostly the vulnerable female suffers. I am not blaming all religions or all cultures. However, how would we try to change a traumatised victim's view about the event they went through to say it was an isolated incident and help their mental health?

I have found some people on this website have been through a lot, and they have a very good answers, which we all can learn from.

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 3, 2022 16:02

Oppression is a state of mind where in reality one may not be oppressed but based on society norms they consider themselves to be oppressed.

If we consider all religion then we would there are restrictions placed upon the people who follow that particular religion. In most cases the restrictions on women are greater than men. Does that mean religion oppress women or oppress women more than men. Alternatively is religion used to oppress women …

PrettyAsian

Jun 3, 2022 16:49

@Never_stop_dreaming
How would we try to change a traumatised victim's view about the event they went through to say it was an isolated incident and help their mental health?

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 3, 2022 19:19

It probably depends on what caused the trauma to start, one needs to understand the cause before one can offer a solution..

PrettyAsian

Jun 3, 2022 20:47

@Never_stop_dreaming
What about a traumatised case of an rape victim?

PrettyAsian

Jun 4, 2022 21:06

Our knowledge is limited, so is our answer.

PrettyAsian

Jun 8, 2022 13:58

Any reply?

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 8, 2022 14:36

Yes our knowledge is limited and so would my answer to the question you pose. Maybe the trauma is a test from Allah.. maybe it was a wicked act from shaitaan.. we rationalise events differently to make sense of it..

PrettyAsian

Jun 8, 2022 17:47

@Never_stop_dreaming
Ma sha Allah nice reply.

PrettyAsian

Jun 10, 2022 19:07

I have been called today for two different job

a) 'Detective' working for the police
b) 'Clinical Psychologist' releting to Eating Disorders

Can someone who might have experiance is either job or know can advice me which one is best inn sha Allah. I enjoy both.

PrettyAsian

Jun 11, 2022 17:22

What makes us want to get married or stay single?

Reza Fathi

Jun 11, 2022 21:45

Reasons for marriage are different for men and women. The reason for marriage in young people is different from adults and the elderly. The reason for marriage varies between rich and poor. The reason for marriage is different between religious and non-religious. Depending on the situation, the reasons for marriage are also different, so we must first see the purpose of marriage for which group of people in society we want to examine. For example, the main cause of marriage in adolescents is hormonal issues. But in the elderly there are emotional issues.

PrettyAsian

Jun 12, 2022 01:49

Why did the females in the past compete in whose husband had the most wives compared to today's standard, in which polygamy is looked at as a negative family structure?

Reza Fathi

Jun 12, 2022 05:11

In the past, societies were generally patriarchal, and women lacked social support and freedom of expression, and freedom of job . The emergence of independence in women's living expenses has led to the formation of feminist structures. Unfortunately, in the past, women were largely oppressed due to patriarchal structures, and today, unfortunately, in the shadow of women's social freedom, the opposite trend is taking shape, which has led to the emergence of feminist ideas. In both cases, the predominance of personal interests over the collective interests leads to moral collapse and damage to the family structure.

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Deleted User

Jun 12, 2022 07:40

All praise be to God

PrettyAsian

Jun 12, 2022 10:25

@Reza Fathi
One way of looking at it. I appreciate your thoughts and views.
Some females in the modern world are Muslims and non-Muslims who do not mind sharing a husband; in other parts of the world, men share their wife. Any thought on that?

What are the pro and cons of both (e.g. sharing a husband compared to sharing a wife)?

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Deleted User

Jun 12, 2022 10:35

Were made from sounding clay.

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 12, 2022 10:59

It appears to me not everyone on this site are who they claim to be.. guard against those who come to cause mischief and divide us…

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Deleted User

Jun 12, 2022 11:06

You'd think a psychologist wouldn't have to ask about psychology of people. It's odd for someone to ask people about what they already are aware of hey!?

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Deleted User

Jun 12, 2022 11:21

@prettyAsian
Sharing wife is a nonsense ideology and school of thought. Beside religious view, scientific research has proved that's not healthy, and leads to the new sexual illness that are spreading nowadays in those societies. Moreover, u can't identify who is the father in these cases.
On other side, sharing a husband has not shown any health issues and we can always identify the parents of any new born.
So please don't compare both schools as still sharing a husband is logically admitted by a common sense.

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 12, 2022 12:11

@chama well said. I suspect what prettyAsian is trying to do in the forums is start discussions and understand other peoples views. I doubt he supports the idea of women having more than one husband at a time.

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Deleted User

Jun 12, 2022 12:18

You would think as a psychologist, he would already be a professional at other people's views. Perhaps he's still learning. Each to their own!

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 12, 2022 12:21

A psychologist are always evaluating human behaviour…

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Deleted User

Jun 12, 2022 12:22

Yep

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Deleted User

Jun 12, 2022 12:41

@never_stop_dreaming
I bet that any human with a common sense can admit to share his wife.
Yes, before the coming of Islam these kind of things were commun in certain tribes and Islam came to make all in a way to guaranty the male, female and kids honor. Today, as people gets away from the religion we could notice the appearance of the old problem society suffered long ago.

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Deleted User

Jun 12, 2022 12:43

@woman
Maybe he is conducting a study, and choosing different categories of society. So here, he could find a diversity

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Oneday

Jun 12, 2022 13:15

Why did you use the same post but edit the topic/ question?
This is stupid because it will lead to confusion for anyone who doesnt know about your original unedited post.

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 12, 2022 13:19

@charma I’m sure you meant won’t want to share his wife..

May Allah keep you in the righteous path. Ameen

Fatima

Jun 12, 2022 13:30

People wanna married because its Sunnah and who will not happy if we know tht we hv someone in our life that we can spend & share life with
But some people prefer to single because maybe they hv a scar in their heart bout relationship

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 12, 2022 15:07

Marriage is sunnah.. marriage has been prescribed.. there’s nothing more to say

PrettyAsian

Jun 12, 2022 18:09

@Fatima
Ma sha Allah. I was waiting for someone to make that clear. Sometimes challenging puzzles can be understood by dismantling them into small pieces, and the answer becomes simple. Jizak Allah Khairan.

PrettyAsian

Jun 12, 2022 18:10

Some people who get disgusted with what they hear becomes defensive, and some try to understand. Some people who try to understand are those who amits their own mistakes and will inn sha Allah try to understand their spouse's mistake. Allah Knows Best.

Sister Chama has a good view and tried to provide some scientific knowledge ma sha Allah.
Brother Never_stop_dreaming tried to justify my comment even though he does not know me. Jizak Allah Khairan.

Brother Oneday made a good point about one of my possible mistake. I do agree with him
Truth always prevails over falsehood. May Allah guide us all.

What I am trying to do is find deep thinkers and let some who are looking for a spouse understand them better through how we answer the question. I have found ma sha Allah most people this the forum has common sense. Some of the answers are beyond my experience ma sha Allah.

Never_stop_dreaming

Jun 12, 2022 18:36

You think people are looking for deep thinkers.. I’d say looks and wealth is still on the top of peoples list..

On a personal level some of the sisters seem wise and respectful on the forums and so do some of the brothers. May Allah help us all. Ameen

Reza Fathi

Jun 12, 2022 20:21


@pretty asian

You asked about polygamy. Depending on the type of creation, men can have several wives. But women face many problems if they have several husbands. And if we take the opportunity that both men have multiple wives and women have multiple husbands, marriage and family formation will lose their meaning. I will only name the harms of women having multiple husbands. 1. Women If they have multiple husbands, it is not possible to identify the father without careful testing. 2- Everyone has the right to have children in marriage. If all men want children, the woman must be constantly pregnant so that she can give birth to at least two children for her husband. And this is not possible for a woman. But a man can have children of all his wives one night. 3- In terms of sexual desire, women will also have a problem that I will not go into details. Of course, there are many issues that cannot be raised.

PrettyAsian

Jun 13, 2022 01:01

@Reza Fathi
Ma sha Allah, Jizak Allah Khairaan. Inn sha Allah, everyone, including myself, will benefit from your answer.

I will classify this brother as a deep thinker inn sha Allah.

Reza Fathi

Jun 13, 2022 05:00


@pretty Asian

Dear friend, what I am saying is my personal and non-specialized insights and personal experience. The few things I said in general were the problems of polygamy for women, but the issue of polygamy is, in my view, very large and also very complex. And it can not be judged on the basis of superficial opinions. A mistake I made years ago and its problems still haunt me. I have a lot of views on the benefits of polygamy for men, but in practice it is very complicated and will cause further problems. Unfortunately, in reality, jealousy is an integral part of us humans, and this feeling is many times greater in women than in men. And, of course, overcoming jealousy is a God-pleasing thing, which has a great reward in the hereafter. But in practice, it is really hard for women to tolerate another woman with her husband, and sometimes it is insane, which makes the woman, despite knowing that her reactions are wrong. But there are many irrational and emotional reactions, which are not compatible with any logic. But this behavior is a fact that is undeniable and troublesome. And no rational advice can stop a woman from behaving irrationally. Because this behavior is not under his control to convince him not to do such behavior.

Reza Fathi

Jun 13, 2022 05:07

(her control to convince her not to do such behavior.)

Excuse me because I use Google Translator and in Persian the pronouns for man and woman are the same, sometimes in the translation of these two pronouns are translated interchangeably.

Masculine

Jun 13, 2022 05:34

@Reza if polygamy "in practice it is very complicated and will cause further problems"
Then why would the Creator make it lawful?
If something has greater harm than benefit for society, would it not be unlawful?
Should societies moral and social codes be governed by the irrational behaviour of women?

Reza Fathi

Jun 13, 2022 07:57

Polygamy is permissible in Islam, it is not obligatory. Or not having several spouses is not haram. This law is designed for special cases so that there is no deadlock, in special circumstances. On the other hand, I agree with polygamy. And it has many social benefits. But jihad is great for women. And perhaps harder than men's jihad in war and martyrdom. Because when emotion overcomes logic. Whatever reason you give, it does not work. My wife agreed to polygamy, but after doing so, her feelings and love for me turned to hatred. And her behavior was no longer subject to her previous logic and had become quite emotional. I reiterate that his behavior was no longer under the control of his logic. I do not blame him. That is why I say that it is necessary to act in special and necessary circumstances and with the full care and consent of the first spouse.

PrettyAsian

Jun 16, 2022 15:59

No more comments?

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Deleted User

Jun 16, 2022 23:14

This post is confused. It's intention changes as quick as the topic!

Gujjar

Jun 17, 2022 06:59

Remaining single is 👍

PrettyAsian

Jun 17, 2022 10:05

One of my quote

"Life is never perfect. Wisdom is wealth gained through hardship".
(1 January, 2022)

Fatima

Jun 17, 2022 15:31

@prettyasian
Waiyyaki
Instead for those two option.. The most better idea is are you ready or not dive into marriage life?
The one who know the answer is you.. So if you ready for it.. You will be find the answer of your session earlier😊 may Allah bless you

Fatima

Jun 17, 2022 15:35

*Session* question i mean😂

PrettyAsian

Jun 17, 2022 16:30

@Fatima 😊

Gujjar

Jun 17, 2022 18:31

MaaShaaAllah
@PrettyAsian +@Fatimaz
InShaaAllah
Try to understand positive

PrettyAsian

Jun 17, 2022 19:02

@Gujjar 😊

PrettyAsian

Jun 17, 2022 19:03

I think I am the oldest person here lol

Haider

Jun 17, 2022 20:41

Do you think woman at 35 is young?

Gujjar

Jun 18, 2022 02:05

Love need young feelings kiss need young face 🤣 😂

PrettyAsian

Jun 18, 2022 14:58

@Gujjar
Love need young feelings kiss need young face 🤣

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Deleted User

Jun 18, 2022 19:33

Staying single on purpose is not following the Prophet Mohammed, and He said that if your not following Him, you have nothing to do with him/not one of us. So if you intend on staying single, you have not followed that Sunnah. It rare and not natural to stay single. Everyone would like a partner.

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Deleted User

Jun 18, 2022 19:36

If your Muslim, saying it's best to stay single is going against the tenet you have chose, and goes against the natural want to have someone in your life.

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Deleted User

Jun 18, 2022 19:44

All your posts are negative. They have been about anger, lies etc. This is what you choose to draw people's attention to!
Avoid people who draw focus on such things!

Haider

Jun 19, 2022 05:14

Honourable @Woman staying single is with reason and reason is lessons from doubled people 😉

Hilal ***Forums Only***

Jun 19, 2022 07:00

"You think people are looking for deep thinkers.. I’d say looks and wealth is still on the top of peoples list.."
@ Never stop dreaming,

Unfortunately looks and wealth are on the tops of many people's lists, both male and female.
There are still some people who would prefer a deep thinker over looks and money, Alhamdulillah.

May Allah SWT bless, guide and protect us all, Ameen.

PrettyAsian

Jun 19, 2022 15:07

@Hilal ***Forums Only***

😉😊

PrettyAsian

Jun 19, 2022 17:02

Why do certain people only display their love for their spouse in public but not in privacy?

PrettyAsian

Jun 20, 2022 18:44

People are quite

PrettyAsian

Jun 20, 2022 18:44

Has anyone heard the news about Bangladesh flood?

PrettyAsian

Jun 22, 2022 16:27

What can people say about this quote?

A person lacking social skills is also lacking in social balance.

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Deleted User

Jun 22, 2022 21:15

Rate that 0.5/10. Insightful with notes of ignorance, flavourless in nature.

PrettyAsian

Jun 25, 2022 12:21

Do we have to follow a madhab?
If yes, what are the evidence?
If no, what are the evidence?

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Deleted User

Jun 25, 2022 21:09

If your a teacher of Islam, you should be able to discern that yourself big boy! 😄

Haider

Jun 26, 2022 07:24

Elder brother
Very @PrettyAsian
You have good questions
Your this question is more good to understand and find answer
The answer of your question is in Quran and Hadith
Every reader can not answer because we have to go through Quran and reflect on it especially messages of Prophets and examples In their times and similarities of today's and past nations causes of their destruction and preparation for our destruction

......
Please read holy book 📖
Or
Follow any madhab
Remain blind From truth and message of God and be hopeful put your next moments or next life on risk whilst we don't actually put our present life on risk

PrettyAsian

Jun 26, 2022 08:14

@Haider

Please educate me. Where does it say in the Quran or Hadith you must follow a madhab?
Which madhab is mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah that we must follow?

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 08:21

He didn't say God said you must follow a school of thought. Read what he said.

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 08:49

Think about what the Qar'an says.

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 09:11

Educate yourself with the Qar'an.

Haider

Jun 26, 2022 09:54

@woman
May Allah bless you with Goodness

Reza Fathi

Jun 26, 2022 13:25

The common denominator of most religions is the existence of a Creator, the command to do human deeds, and the existence of the Hereafter. If there is a Creator, then the Creator is the best guide, and the Creator guides us through religion. Religion teaches us what good works are. And the Hereafter guarantees that our good deeds are not without reward. Because there is the Hereafter, people of faith always hope to do good deeds. But not following religion causes society to become selfish, despair, emptiness, confusion, selfishness, selfishness, deception of inner conscience.

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 14:07

What is a human deed? What is a good deed?

PrettyAsian

Jun 26, 2022 19:14

@Reza Fathi

I am trying to figure out where madhab came from and whether it is necessary to follow a madhab (school of thought). If we must follow one, how do we know which one is the correct one that will lead us to Jannah?

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 19:18

What ever one you feel good about. They came from scholars of the past. You can google the word madhab, and learn on your own. There is heaps of articles about these people and how they formed there thought via experience.

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 19:18

It's not necessary, as people have said.

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 19:19

Allah guides you to Jannah, as he dies with everyone.

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 19:20

does.

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 19:20

You are an teacher of Islam!

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 19:29

You may find that you like some thoughts from all the schools of thought.

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 19:30

Whatever benefits your knowledge, whatever benefits you in any way.

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Deleted User

Jun 26, 2022 19:31

Your an Islamic teacher! What do you tell your students!?

PrettyAsian

Jun 28, 2022 22:23

Loyalty toward your dignity or loyalty towards your family?

PrettyAsian

Jun 29, 2022 09:06

“One must be willing to pay the price of sorrow to experience joy” (M Saeed, 28 June 2022).

Is the above quote true?

PrettyAsian

Jul 1, 2022 14:32

Silent group LOL

Reza Fathi

Jul 1, 2022 14:50

31 اِنّ مَعَ العُسْرِ یسْراً
(154)

Then every difficulty is easy

PrettyAsian

Jul 1, 2022 20:01

Females always try to find a way for the man to be contend with one wife where as male looks for excuses to have more than one.

 

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