Get Married First or Good Enough First ???

Get Married First or Good Enough First ???

KhadijahCare2 Created Jan 10, 2022 02:57

It's 2022, and my goal is to get married before 2022 is over.

Whenever I set a goal to get married as soon as possible this year, I pray and keep trying, but yet again the years have passed with no sign of this waiting coming to an end?

Am I disappointed in the Allah I faithfully pleaded with? Am I desperate? Alhamdulilah I did not give up, the matter of being sad or disappointed will definitely happen, as a weak human being must have experienced an inner struggle between sadness and disappointment. But alhandulilah I always managed to win from all bad attitudes that doubted Allah.

I always say to myself, that Allah is still preventing him from meeting me. My soul mate clearly had his name written on Lauh Mahfudz long before I was born. He is still in a place that has not been opened by Allah so that we still cannot meet.

There are many reasons why Allah doesn't allow us to meet, maybe he's not good enough right now because I hope to meet a good man. Likewise he hasn't been able to meet me because maybe I'm not good enough while he hopes to meet a good woman. The point is that we are still the same as not meeting the requirements that we each set.

The question is whether to wait for both of us to meet each other when we good enough, or maybe we can change our prayers ? We don't have to be good before we meet, we are ready to accept each other's shortcomings. Later after meeting, both of us can improve ourselves so that we can both be good partners in front of Allah, and can give each other happiness.

So, I tried to change the way I pray. May Allah give us the opportunity to meet sooner than the time.

For my brothers and sisters who haven't found your ideal partner. Let's change our prayers, don't set targets on our candidates, set INTENTIONS, so that we both achieve the targets we dream of after we are together. If any of us are not good, those who are good will guide those who are not. Thus perfect the purpose of a marriage. May Allah bless this. If Allah is pleased with our lives, then automatically there is nothing to worry about in building a household in the future. The days that will be spent together will become more beautiful every day. May Allah give us the opportunity to meet our life partner soon. Amen...

Never give up, keep trying and keep fighting to improve ourselves so that when we meet him/her we are ready to make each other happy. May Allah bless us.


This topic has 2 comments


Jan 11, 2022 17:59

I use to plan things like marriage, travel, business, things that important to my life that I can see that is relatively stable life for me, in the third decade of my life. After that I realized that when I plan, it will never happen. My last plan was, in 2019, I thought to travel in 2020 just few countries nearby each other. I just planed that in the beginning of Dec or 2019, after 3 weeks I heard of Covid Sars 2 and step by step everything become difficult. 😑

I always plan to build or to make something in my place or in my garden but I never set a date that I have to do this or that now. I only buy the stuff first and then after 1 or 2 months or maybe after 1 year going to build it or make it happen. It depend on the weather and on the project, when I see some indications that I have to stop finishing this project, I really leave it unfinished. I jump to the second project and when I finish the second project with Allah help, I go back to the last one.

My conclusion is that you will never know when you plan 2 things, who will you finish first? Allah make it easy for you and for your own benefit. I don't think, when I say I want my future wife to be a good Muslima and beautiful and educated. Sometimes you become in love with not that beautiful woman but this may you don't like but in the future she may be a woman with a golden heart.

In the Middle east, I heard a saying from people there, they say, no matter what you plan or do, if it's not meant for you, it will be not for you. This goes for Marriage/ Jobs/ Business. And you will never know if this is your last meal. So take easy on yourself and keep searching and don't get upset that someone didn't reply you back or you still see scammers. If it ment to marry a scammer, you will mary. 😂 seriously I mean it.😉

My friends abroad give up asking me like every year, when you will come to visit us cos they know the story above. 😆


Jan 16, 2022 00:05

@ Samer : In conclusion, just remember these 2 things:

1. Al Kahf 23-24 : And never say of anything, "Indeed, I will do that tomorrow, except (when adding), If Allah wills." And remember your Lord when you forget (it) and say, "Perhaps my Lord will guide me to what is nearer than to this to right conduct."

2. Al Baqarah 216 : Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you: and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.

You are right about that if Allah ordained us to marry a scammer, then we will surely marry him. And did you know why Allah actually married us to scammers..??? Because Allah knows that with us the scammer will change, will repent, and one day become a very religious person. And did you know that when the scammer repents and changes his behavior 180 degrees then the next 1 second all the "good deeds" he does will be our reward. He prays, he reads and memorizes the Qur'an, he fasts, he gives charity, he performs Umrah or Hajj, he preaches, he helps people, etc. Then the whole reward will be our reward without us doing the same. Allah copies all his deeds to us without reducing that person's reward. That is the greatest reward that Allah wants to give us for free, without us having to doing it ourselves. This is the meaning of the letter Al Baqarah verse 216 above.

Therefore, maintain good suspicion of Allah, because Allah is as good as our suspicion of Him.


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