Helahel

Asking men about their income/salary?

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Asking men about their income/salary?

Leena Created Nov 28, 2021 15:13
15 Comments

So, why do men freak out with this question ? It’s a legit question. They have signed up on a matrimonial site so, obviously women will ask them this question. We just want to see if men can support their family financially.
If they don’t have good income then why are they even looking to get married? Don’t they know that marriage also means having kids... and that they are required to support their spouse and kids?

 

This topic has 20 comments

Faithful muslima

Nov 28, 2021 16:46

I remember in the good old days when men would go to a woman's house to ask her father or mahram for her hand in marriage and the father would ask the groom to be about his financial status. No father wants to marry his daughter to a man who is already struggling in life. The only way to understand this is to become a father of a daughter. It would be the same if a brother was looking for a suitable husband for his sister.

Faizzan

Nov 28, 2021 16:47

I’m very comfortable to tell my income everyone.. I like it

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Leena

Nov 28, 2021 18:07

I agree faithful muslima... many men nowadays are very stingy with money. But what I don’t understand is why they want to get married if they are struggling or just plain stingy with money. Don’t they realize that eventually the woman will know their financial status and will just end the relationship. I know for sure they wouldn’t wanna marry such men.

Faizzan .. well you are one of the very few honest men .

Amir

Nov 28, 2021 18:24

With so many scammers on the site, who'd want to disclose their salary?

How would a person in another country determine what salary is sufficient? For example, $4,000 a month in Midwest USA is decent income, but not much on west coast or NE, or Norway, Switzerland, etc.

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Leena

Nov 28, 2021 19:19

Hi Amir, ok that makes sense.. but I guess thats the risk we all have to take with this online matrimonial site. For example, us women share our number and pics. If we all become overly cautious here (for example, afraid of scammers) ...then no one will get married here or able to get to know one another.
Hope this makes sense

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Leena

Nov 28, 2021 19:22

also, what you said about different income level in different locations... that makes totally sense.. that’s why I stick to Canadians (as I live in Canada and know about the income level) and northern US (like NYC etc) ..

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Deleted User

Nov 28, 2021 19:36

If you are attacking some men for being stingy with money then you don’t understand the law of economics, in a time where inflation is sky high, house prices rising and salaries falling, we need to be careful with money.
For instance much of my salary will go into investments and savings to prepare for the future.

I understand there are many pressures on women, there are also many pressures on men.

Ps: I’m happy to share my income with someone I find compatible as that’s part of what makes you compatible. It would also be nice if women told us what level of financial comfortability they would want.

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Leena

Nov 28, 2021 19:40

I’m not attacking anyone. In my experience (and I know many women will agree) ... that nowadays men don’t talk about money to women.
I have my own career and high disposable income. So I’d prefer someone with a good job too.
But men here hide it from me or get VERY offended when I ask them this question. They also get offended when I ask them about their background.. it seems like covid is making some men very sensitive

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Deleted User

Nov 28, 2021 19:41

@ FAITHFUL MUSLIMA Excellent point!

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Leena

Nov 28, 2021 19:41

I’m not expecting men to be ultra rich but if they want to get married then they should be able to raise their kids.

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Deleted User

Nov 28, 2021 19:43

@Leena I can’t talk for all men, however I find many people on this site are living in a pipe dream as they want to marry someone from abroad, move to their country ect…

People need to be honest about what they can achieve

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Deleted User

Nov 28, 2021 19:44

@Leena Excellent Point

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Deleted User

Nov 28, 2021 19:47

@Amir Excellent point 4k in Switzerland would be gone in days!

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Leena

Nov 28, 2021 19:47

I agree
Maybe, they live in developing countries... that’s why their lifelong dream is to move abroad?
I’m not sure.
But what matters most in life is happiness. I know many wealthy ppl who are unhappy in their lives (because they lead very stressful lives).

Amir

Nov 28, 2021 22:37

I dated a white American woman when I lived in Atlanta in 2008. She was slim and 5'-5". Women are not what they used to be. My Russian fiancee took me on a shared van to meet her dad and brother in 2004 in Kishnev (Moldova), but with the American, I felt like she'd drive me broke if I kept seeing her. Now, there's no love or sympathy. As long as you're healthy, fine, else, it's goodbye. She divorced her husband when the economic crisis hit in 2008. Latest generation in Ukraine, as I saw in 2018, they don't want children. All they want is an iPhone, Samsonite luggage. They come from villages to see foreigners in very short term relationships to get all that.

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Zana254

Nov 28, 2021 23:09

I think generally a man should be able to take care of the wife as long as they have a stable job or business they are good to go, they don't have to be rich or something but be able to take care of their wife and kids when they come but most guys here some don't even have jobs and they want wives makes you wonder how that will work, and when you refuse such a man you called a gold digger so I don't understand sometimes what some people want

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IssySar

Jan 27, 2022 02:40

Majority of men can support a spouse and kids. Cloth them feed them and put a roof over their heads.

Problem is if a man offered a woman that, majority would scoff at the suggestion.
They want holidays, en-suite bedrooms, fancy car, extravagant holidays and meals. Make up. Crazy what women spend.

Women awake a traditional Muslim man when it comes to claiming their rights.
But don’t want to actually live a Muslim way of life.

Never_stop_dreaming

Jan 27, 2022 03:57

Well said IssySar. Money still appears to be one of the root of evils.

It is my understanding from an Islamic point a view a man does not have to disclose his financial details to a potential partner nor is it appropriate for someone to ask for details.

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Essentials2021

Jan 28, 2022 01:17

Let me give 2 sisters true story. Older one is average looking 2nd one is very pretty. But both has same height. Below 5'. Both of them were well educated and had good job. Older one was having problem to find a match due to her look and height at 26 but the 2nd one had lot of interest for her pretty look. Older one was looking for a good person that she can with for rest of her life and she found one with no hair,average look and a income that can provide a couple in avarage. After marriage they have come to a understanding what they need and start working as a team.

Through time she encouraged him and supported him to develop new skill and have a 2nd income.After 5 years they had 3 kids,a 2nd house to get some to add more financialsupport,she left her full time job to give time for kids.

After 8 years they had a lovely story,well it was their own story that made them the family they are today. They had to go through many struggles but they have created too many happy moments as well.

After 8 years the 2nd one was tired to refuse all the potential that don't meet her expectations and hardly receiving any interest or age match.

And after 12 years she got married with some one way below her expection who even don't have a proper job. Only thing she was praying for was having a baby as both of them over 40 and has lot common health issues.

Nothing to be emotional maximum people wants to have a baby and enjoy their parents hood. It's natural.

I observed them very closely and tried to find the difference between their thought process that made a successful story of 12 year and other one just started now.

Should we look for someone that can financially meet our today's life style or better to look for someone that we can work and face any situation for the test of our life and make our own story?

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Essentials2021

Jan 28, 2022 01:20

Rest of our life* not test. Typo...

 

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