“You’re not the one” - LADIES EDITION

“You’re not the one” - LADIES EDITION

Jannah Created Oct 25, 2021 18:37

1. If you take longer than 2days to text back because you are “busy” —> you’re not the one for me (you don’t forget to go to work do you? No coz it’s important, exactly!)
2. If you don’t have a profile pic (at least 2 pics of yourself) —> you’re not the one for me
3. If you say let’s get to know each other and you don’t ask me any questions —> you’re not the one for me
4. If you’d rather keep “getting to know one another” for years and not involve my wali —> you’re not the one for me
5. If you don’t approach me with “salam” or “Assalamualikum” —> you’re not the one for me
6. If you are married and looking for a second wife —> you are not the one for me
7. If you are from UK, Pakistan, Algeria, India, Nigeria, somalia, Uganda, Kenya —> you’re not the one for me (list may be updated in future)
8. If you call yourself a muslim and still ask me to show you my hair Guess what? —> you are most definitely not the one for me
9. If you message me just to compliment my looks —> you’re not the one for me (don’t even bother, i know already Alhamdulillah!)
10. If you are personally offended by this post —> you’re deffs not the one 👩🏾‍💻


This topic has 16 comments

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Oct 26, 2021 04:38

I agree with you. I also block men who take longer than few days to reply. It makes me think they are not serious. So I just block them


Oct 26, 2021 08:20

Assalamualikum Jannah,

You are bang on!! I agree on most of your points. I think if they want to take so much to know someone then they are not sure what they really want. I think both parties should be able share what they are looking for clearly and truthfully. If they don't like what vibe they are getting from one another then they should clearly say so and move on with the search. Honestly everybody deserves happiness with a partner no matter what reason we see to decline someone. I sincerely wish everyone the best in their search.


Oct 29, 2021 10:57

Beautifully superb... I really ❤️ your post


Oct 30, 2021 22:28

I wait 2 days to write to see if they get deleted before that.


Nov 22, 2021 05:38



Nov 27, 2021 20:52

IF you act as similar as you wrote then you AREN'T the ONE for ME 🤣✌️🙏

Faithful muslima

Nov 28, 2021 09:15

Dear sister Jannah. I understand why you created this list. When I first joined a marriage site( and I'm registered on three others also) I was so happy and optimistic. I believed I would find a good Muslim man. I was excited that I can join a halal environment and find someone I am compatible with. My experience over the years caused me to start losing hope. The more men I talked to the more I realised that these sites are not halal. I have been asked questions about my body and what kind of sexual acts I would be willing to do things I cannot write here and don't wish to repeat because they are so disgusting and degrading.
Men have bragged about the size of their manhood and then told me until I get married that they could take care of my sexual needs.
I have so many character destroying messages like this that I could compile a whole book. Just when you think that the messages can't get any worse they definitely can.
Most men are polite and respectful until you share your number. They refuse to talk on these sites and insist you give them a contact nmber.
There are some God fearing decent men but they only message once in a week and at that rate we are never going to learn about one another .No wonder it takes years to find someone to marry.
I can understand why some women have become bitter. This experience has opened my eyes to how corrupt the world we live in has become.
If a man approached me in the streets and insisted that I tell him what colour my underwear is or how I could please him in bed I would call it sexual harrassment and call the police. On these sites there is no police or way to complain. I always believed Muslim men were the protectors of muslim women .
This is not an attack on all good decent Muslim men out there because there are women who are equally as bad. What I can't understand is why can't these people message each other and leave those people alone who don't want to be involved in haram activities.

Faithful muslima

Nov 28, 2021 09:21

Another thing. If two people can not find the time to message each other before marriage then they are definitely not going to find the time to have meaningful conversation after being married.
Marriage relies on communication. If you can't communicate it will affect every other aspect in your life.

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Nov 28, 2021 19:56

Faithful muslima... you are not alone..
As soon as I add someone on watsapp (thinking he is decent or a gentleman)...the most vile sexual talk comes out of his mouth. My pic is posted on watsapp and I keep updating my pics (I’m very much into fashion)...so the guy just talks to me about sexual stuff.. (just because of the way I dress..actually I dress quite modestly but modern)
Sadly, these are simple-minded men... and they are only amused by s*x

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Nov 28, 2021 20:00

And these are the so-called Muslim men..
I’m shocked by the vile sexual stuff that comes out of their mouth. Im ok with romance and all but I draw a line when the they start to sound too sexual.
If anything, western men are more gentlemen than these Muslim guys.

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Nov 28, 2021 20:04

And when I say .. I don’t want to talk about this.. they make me feel like weird or someone not interested in intimacy. Or they call me overly conservative

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Nov 28, 2021 21:57

I totally agree with both of you sisters!
Which is why I have created my own criteria too- only to exchange numbers and pics if someone sounds compatible and ask to do Istikharah if there appears to be compatibility
From what I know, some men are used to the corrupt side of things hence when the odd women will politely tell them they aren’t like that, the men get offended!
What I have learnt is to reply/ challenge that would they like their ideal partner to be acting so corrupt then? Could they trust her? If they expect us to meet them within meets of chats “because other women do “ how would they trust someone like that for life? Wouldn’t they rather she had a simple hassle free life?
Anyway each to their own, rant over. Just wanted to say to the dear sisters that unfortunately it is becoming quite common now- as long as we remember that we must love and fear Allah more than these people- we will succeed IA.

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Nov 28, 2021 23:14

I thought I was the only one getting weird messages from weird men... And the worse part is some are full grown men you think they will behave like their age you end up being disappointed big time especially when you agree on a video call the things I have seen I am even afraid of video calling anyone this days it scares me what someone may do.. Some men are so pathetic here.. What I learnt is if someone wants to know you let them know you from here first not other platforms it makes them confident to harass women easily unlike here on the site

Faithful muslima

Dec 4, 2021 12:43

Sisters, Leena, Rose petal, Zana254 and Sherifat.
Of the 6 to 10 messages I get a day one is usually the weird one. Maybe I'm wrong because I don't reply to all the messages that are from abroad and if I did there could be more weirdos.
I sometimes feel that I'm on cheap s*x chat up site that men usually pay for but can get for free here.

Faithful muslima

Dec 4, 2021 12:49

It's true no matter how much you protest or say you don't agree with this behaviour it seems to encourage the men. I can see why the feminists are so bitter and have a hatred for men. These few men give all men a bad name.

Faithful muslima

Dec 4, 2021 12:56

Also I have been asked many times if I would be ok becoming a second, third or fourth wife. The majority of men on these sites are struggling for years to find one wife. How are these men marrying 2, 3 and 4?
They don't want to marry women from poor countries or war torn countries which is their duty but want to marry women from countries where we can at least support our selves


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