Helahel advice/suggestions

Helahel advice/suggestions

ALIWISEMIND ke Created Sep 13, 2021 15:34

Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh
Concerning this website, I plea with you
1. In your profile, if you are serious, you indicate who you are and who you want to be with, basically, so as, one cannot waste time trying to know you or if they basically qualify. Specify after how long you want to marry, readiness to relocate, age bracket...etc, phrases like "we'll get to know each other as we talk" wastes time. Provide the basics
2. There are scammers here, its true, may be. But we're just complaining and sometimes mentioning users, they can easily change their user name or create a different account. Lets discuss signs and how they do it so as we can be more concious when we're experiencing the same
3. Lets be more positive. Women can be annoying. Allah and His prophet knows...but we're not asked to complain...rather, understand them, treat them well, cover their faults, talk to them kindly and...not try to force them be what we want them to be. We already know that this is impossible. I haven't been a lady but I can feel what they undergo when the read our comments. Most comments are talking bad about them
4. Lets discuss about advice. Its okay if some are negative but advice should not be too personal. We have divorced muslims here, share us your advice and experience; we're glad to learn from your experience. Ladies, if something is annoying, share with us in stead of keeping it to yourself. You may be fought and feel understood but believe me or not, one day, an open minded person would thank you. Who knows, it might be sadaqatul jaariya
5. Lets be sincere. When we're texting someone, lets first declare our intention so as they know exactly what we want. If we don't want someone, lets tell them in stead of keeping quiet. If you're from third world country don't fake you are from US to hook someone. Its the cause of misunderstandings and even divorce. Getting real might not give you so many people but at least, you'll always attract the right persons
6. Lets not be too judgemental. Let not generalise so much that ladies here are not serious or are unto money or don't respond. People are different, and they act differently. Lets have more patience, at first I believed that they don't respond only after I bought some time... Also, if some one ignores you, assume they're not interested or ask them politely, I believe they'll answer you
7. If you believe that you can't get a partner here, its okay, you're right. But, let not blame other parties so much. Sometimes, its our fault and we're being informed but we're refusing to admit. We're not that open minded. So, let not fool others with our ideologies
8. Before you text someone, check their last seen. You cannot be texting someone who last logged in into this site five years or 3 months ago and expect their response. Lets be more practical
9. Ladies, its to the prophet concern that some of you are ungrateful to their husbands and expecting a lot from men. Men are complaining you're so materialistic...its easier to convert and marry a non-muslimah than to marry a muslimah...I advice you, you go to your mother or grandmother and ask which quality is very important. Like me, I believe in only two, maturity and religion. With maturity there is good communication and empathy and religion is the guide; contains the do's and don'ts
10. Let also discuss money, teach each other what we have learnt about life. It can't be solely about relationship. I believe, even after marriage, you should have projects with your partner. As a man, you should be the bread winner, actively involve her. You'll get more ideas and its more convenient and you'll have a lot of conceete talks. Women are social beings; take advantage of that. Be partners...marriage is all about partnership, agreement
Wabillah tawfiq...I stand to be corrected


This topic has 12 comments


Sep 14, 2021 08:17

What I noticed is that our comments are never new. Some muslims at one time talked exactly what we're posting today. If I get time, inshaallah, I'll read as much as I can...I like psychology


Sep 14, 2021 16:50

I totally agree with your opinion, you are still very young but very mature compared to your age, masha Allah, amazing.

Some men don't consider some important basic information they have to share publicly, about themselves or about the candidate they want. Age range, marital status, and location are key, are you ready to go through the stages of the meeting and application process if the candidate is from another country? If you are not ready to go to the candidate's country, it is better to write a note on your profile that you are only looking for candidates from your own country.

There are so many profiles that do not contain clear information, some are even completely empty. You may not to use photos but please provide a detailed description of yourself, try to introduce yourself so not to cause any hesitation for women to contact/respond to you.

I personally like to read full profiles/details rather than just 1 or 2 words, I would have skipped it if it didn't have basic information.

May we all learn to respect other people who have the intention of looking for a true life partner, not pretending or just playing games.

Clear information on the profile will help candidates shorten the time to send messages and then find that they don't meet their criteria.

Thank you brother for revealing all this in detail. May Allah bless you soon to find the life partner you want. Aameen.


Sep 14, 2021 18:32

You know what, I also didn't understand at the first place. I thought, if you create a you tube channel and you post quality and good videos, you don't need to advertise. They'll just subscribe to your channel. My best friend, may Allah love him, gave me example of saf that is always and almost everywher advertising among others. I argued otherwise till I met a video,... there is best selling author and not good writing authors...you see, its all about selling, not writing
Good men have the same notion, they are good, yes, but don't sell themselves. They think a lady would just know them from their cover that they are good. They don't bother to write about themselves. Oops, almost noona can be interested in them and they start blaming others
I insist, the problem is you, you are good authors yes, but you are not good sellers. Yoy can't expect a lady to hook you if you already believe you can't find your partner here
I insist on patient and the right attitude
Brothers, sisters, lets fully play our part. Just like you sis, qm not interested in a shallow profile, it just mean you are not serious. And even if you are, we may be wasting time trying to know you and yet weren't compatible from the basics
Lets fully write not only who we are, that enable us to know if you are compatible, but also, who you want, may be we are not fit in your criteria. Lets savw time
I met one profile, mashaallah, it has all I need its only that they were not ready to relocate. How I wished they could have written that in their profile, I would have even moved a step further
Sell yourself bro, sis. Being good isn't enough. Noone can know your heart


Sep 15, 2021 00:30

Totally agree, please read my profile and give me advice if anything is still incomplete as a man need to know, please dm and I will appreciate your help.
May Allah bless you brother, so that you find your soul mate soon.. Insha Allah...


Sep 15, 2021 14:59

My account was temporary banned for spam and scam protection. For those who DMed us, we hope you understand. We could read your messages but we weren't able to respond


Sep 15, 2021 15:07

@KhadijahCare2, Aamiin, you too, may Allah unite you with your soulmate soon, if its better for you. May He also gift you with husnul khatwimah and consequently, Jannatul Firdaus
Glad to...


Sep 15, 2021 17:03

Your account is on hold
You can not send messages as your account is on hold!
Your account is currently on hold and awaiting review by a member of our team.

An admin should review your account in the next 24 hours and if your account is genuine the hold will be lifted.

Do NOT create another account in the mean time, please be patient and wait for your current account to be reviewed.

While your account is on hold you will not be able to send messages, use the forum, send winks or add people as friends.

This system is in place to reduce spam and protect users from potential scams.

We're sorry if you are a genuine user and our system has incorrectly blocked you but please be assured the hold on your account will be removed as quickly as possible.

I guess you'll be more patient


Sep 15, 2021 17:12

While your account is on hold you will not be able to send messages, use the forum, send winks or add people as friends.

Btw, does this feature of sending winks or adding people as friends exist? Am yet to find it...Btw, amn't allowed to use this forum, am even blocked, but, how am I using it,... How do I excess the first page of this forum or other pages,... My brain is overworking, haha...With time, I think, I can be able to send messages before the ban is uplifted, but how, inshaallah. What am sure of is,...it might be difficult, but its possible. I just need to think outside the box, haha


Sep 15, 2021 20:44

Alhamdulillah, I think the ban is lifted


Sep 16, 2021 06:35

It is...
Hi Aliwisemind,

Your account on Helahel was recently placed on hold.

We are pleased to inform you that your account has now been verified and you have full access to the site again.

Sorry for any inconvenience caused while your account was on hold but our automated systems are required to help prevent spam and do occasionally get things wrong.


Sep 17, 2021 06:24

@AliWiseMind, thank you for your duu'a, same duua for you, aameen..


Sep 17, 2021 08:07

Afuan sis


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