I want to discuss the topic of whether it is necessary to have a privacy space for a married couple? do we have to share everything with our partner after marriage without leaving any privacy space for each other?
I ask this because I often see married friends say that between him and his partner there are no more secrets, everything is open, they are even allowed to see each other's cell phones.
Well, what do you think? let's share here.
In my opinion, husband and wife still need to have their respective privacy spaces that must be respected by their partners. For example about toothbrushes, you won't find anywhere in the world a husband and wife sharing toothbrushes, right? even as a newly married couple they will still buy 2 toothbrushes, that means there is still some personal space that cannot be shared with their partner.
For me as a woman, I would appreciate my husband's need to have his own private space, for example mobile phone, laptop, email, wallet and bank account. If we trust our partner, why do we peek on his privacy? Even though we are married, of course our partner still has his own friends, including close friends, as well as his family, parents, brothers and sisters, all of which are still his personal domain that we cannot force us all to know.
Maybe one day our partner is playing secrets with us, but he is open with his family or friends, he doesn't want to share it with us. So we don't need to be suspicious and immediately take it as a negative thing. Because he must have a reason why he can't share it with us but instead with someone else? Believe me, if we trust our partner then we must give him full trust, give him a chance to breathe, don't stress him out by wanting to know all his affairs, peeking at the contents of cellphone, emails, wallet, are things that are considered trivial but can hurt our partner. Because that's a sign that we suspect him, if we suspect him, it's a sign that we don't trust him. If you don't trust, how can we live with people who always have bad attitude towards us? What is love if there is no trust?
Suppose our partner is playing secret by secretly hiding money somewhere, he doesn't want to tell us, he keeps it secret. Then it turns out we accidentally found his secret stash and then we immediately had a bad feeling, he kept the money secretly for what, must be for his family, or even for his secret lover? We immediately got angry, we accused him according to what we thought without giving him a chance to prove what he meant (For me, I won't ask him until he tells me by himself). I just thought maybe he kept it to surprise me, maybe he is preparing a birthday present for me which is still 8 months away, but he is preparing it from now on because he needs a lot of money to buy something precious for me. If he didn't keep it a secret then where was the surprise? so in my opinion, always think positive, let our partner have actions that he himself knows, even he shares with other parties but not to us, always think positive it will make life beautiful, there will be no quarrels, there will be no self-judgment , and not an attitude injury to our partner with false accusations.
Even if one day our trust is broken by him, it turns out to be cheating, then we only need to make a decision:
1. Forgive him
2. Divorce him