Helahel

ignore messages?!!!!

ignore messages?!!!!

abdo the pure heart Created Jul 3, 2021 18:14
49 Comments

Hello everyone, why do the majority of those we send with sincere intention ignore messages?!!!! Even if you do not like the person, you can respond tactfully to the message even if it is rejected, and this is a sign of respect

مرحبا بالجميع، لماذا غالبية الذين نراسلهم بنية صادقة يتجاهلون الرسائل ؟!!!! حتى لو لم تعجبي بالشخص يمكن الرد بلباقة على الرسالة حتى لو كان بالرفض و هذا دليل إحترام

 

This topic has 71 comments

Farid

Jul 6, 2021 01:10

I’m sorry you’re experiencing that, but you’re not alone. Most people on this site (and elsewhere) lack basic manners. If you’re seriously looking for a spouse, this isn’t the place to do it.

Faizzan

Jul 6, 2021 08:03

Actually fact is.

Here majority of women are dreaming for western countries or rich man profile.

That's why middle Eastern / south Asian / Asian women ignore men and dreaming for that.

If you want to Cross check this fact.

Just locate your location in Europe.
Then you'll see how women will start to msg you.

Farid

Jul 6, 2021 10:34

I'll share an experience with you: a sister kept messaging me, asking if we could talk. I replied yes, and after a few messages, she would stop responding. This happened once or twice. This last time, she did it again, so I asked her what her intentions were because I didn't really understand her behavior, and she claimed I would reply with short messages. I told her to read our past conversations, and she just blocked me. In general, most women ignore polite messages. I don't understand why. It's usually only after you call them out that they suddenly find time to respond. It makes no sense to me.

To be fair, there are some good sisters here who are very polite and friendly, and I've actually become good friends with them Alḥamdulillāh, but they're very far and few between.

Moral of the story: if you're looking for a normal, sane person for marriage, this is not the place.

Samer

Jul 6, 2021 10:50

You need to understand something. Some women do read your message and see your profile but they never answer you. This kind are gold diggers with too mach wishes and they can't find any one but some of them do find a western guy but after few months or a year he throw them away just like garbage. After this they can't have a normal marriage in their life so they will jump from one guy to another and their life will be like that. I have seeing North African women living in the west with this kind of relationship and I did spoke with them in the past. They develop some kind of character that no man will like them.Anyway they think a western guy can be a good family man. Most of them never treat woman as a woman, they see them like a bike or a car, they use them and then sell them or throw them away.

Some "women" don't read your message and never try to see your profile, they are fake profiles, just old profiles swimming here everyday. You can ignore this kind of profiles.

Some women, read your message and never see your profile but never answer you. They are too picky women, too difficult to be satisfied and never try again with them.

Some women, read and see your profile but too slow, they reply you once in 3 weeks. They are married women with bad relationship and they are looking for someone nice and free to play around. Life is not normal in all dating websites or in some LIVE streaming aaps. People become too shallow and they live life like animals, drinking eating and having fun here and there. Some are hooked up with live gaming and some like live streaming and talk rubbish.

So take it easy on yourself this is the reality that I have experienced in 23 years from the internet dating, long before the FB, YT. aaps. They true is, if Allah want you to marry, tomorrow you will find her in your neighborhood or in the bus or here.Just accept your fate and be patient and maybe you will never marry a woman. And this is blessing from Allah cos you never know what will you get from that marriage!? 😉

Abrar Qureshi

Jul 6, 2021 12:40

"I want to marry a country" 😄 that's how it is out here. I am thinking I'll make a fake profile from US of the A😄 that'll be fun. Beware ladies if you get a message from a suave Californian, get ready to pack 😄

Farid

Jul 6, 2021 13:25

Sorry to break it to ya, but I don’t think location makes a difference.

Faizzan

Jul 6, 2021 18:07

Farid. Believe me location makes difference.

Here on helahel there are many female from third world only hunting for western profile.

Abrar is right believe me.

AllahisgreatP

Jul 7, 2021 14:55

Of course location makes huge difference here.

Abu Maryam.Salafi.

Jul 7, 2021 15:04

I completely agree with Faizzan )) there were brothers who checked women on this site, and Norwegian engineers, American doctors, or German businessmen received a flurry of letters )))

AllahisgreatP

Jul 7, 2021 15:52

If you changed your location from a third world country to a first world country for just 24 hours, the messages you will received within this period will make you question the sincerity of most women here.

Faizzan

Jul 7, 2021 16:04

Allahisgreat.

You are absolutely right 😂😂😂😂😂

It's fact

Faizzan

Jul 7, 2021 16:06

Abu maryam.
Yea right

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Talah

Jul 7, 2021 18:14

يعني اذا شخص مارد عليك خلاص لعد ترسل مرة ثانية مفهومة عيني

Farid

Jul 7, 2021 19:07

Faizzan, that might be true, but I haven't experienced it. I live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, in one of the wealthiest states in my country, and in one of the wealthiest counties in my state, and it has not made much of a difference. Then again, I don't advertise it.

Faizzan

Jul 7, 2021 19:17

Farid.
I'm shocked and surprise to know how you're safe from gold digger?

Samer

Jul 7, 2021 20:33

Talah,
😏هو ما يقصد شئ سئ الاصول ان الشخص المستلم للرسالة من الادب اعطاء رد سواء كان رد سلبي او ايجابي، ماشي عزيزتي طلة

AllahisgreatP

Jul 8, 2021 14:53

@Farid now that you have advertised yourself, be expecting more messages then usual lol

Faizzan

Jul 8, 2021 15:17

Allahisgreat. Yea you are right 😜😜😜

He'll receive multiple Gold digger msg

ABeer

Jul 8, 2021 18:23

I disagree location doesn't matter
I know there are so many fakes profiles here but when allah SWT want something for you you'll get it
ما اصابك ماكان ليخطئك
of course we should be aware but also not making prejudices
there are so many women who want someone honest and caring only why everyone here is taking things negatively

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Deleted User

Jul 8, 2021 20:27

assalam alaikum I agree with sister abeer
you should be patient
may allah swt grant us all a pious and righteous spouses that will help us become closer to Allah and better Muslims Ameen.

KhadijahCare2

Jul 26, 2021 01:40

I do agree with you, we must give some respect to every one who come to us to say hello or have interest with us. Give them response, if we do not to accept them as a special one, then accept them as a friend. Just tell them honestly, I think they will not get angry when we reject them with respectful. May Allah give us a sincerity hearth to treat others with good words, good behaviour.

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Deleted User

Jul 26, 2021 01:49

I’ll be honest with you. Location makes a difference. I’m looking for someone close to my location. I don’t reply to someone from foreign countries.. just to save each other’s time.
Also, as you can see, I have a pic on my profile... and to me, it’s very weird if a guy doesn’t have any pic. How would I know if he’s human or not? I don’t like to talk to a faceless person. That’s just my opinion.

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Deleted User

Jul 26, 2021 01:52

And the good old excuse..” oh I don’t want my pic stolen etc”.. just saying, none of us is a celebrity/rich or a famous person. So no one cares about our pics.. We are all normal people.
I can understand if someone wants to hide their identity because they don’t want their friends or family to know that they are looking for someone.

KhadijahCare2

Jul 26, 2021 02:15

@Samer, I feel sad when you said :

They true is, if Allah want you to marry, tomorrow you will find her in your neighborhood or in the bus or here.Just accept your fate and be patient and maybe you will never marry a woman. And this is blessing from Allah cos you never know what will you get from that marriage!? 😉

Because I already wait for several years to meet my mate around me, but till now, get no one, not yet. So my friend suggest me to try with online dating, maybe my mate is far away, not beside me.

She help me to register me to Muslima, but I have shocked, I have no experienced and the first mam come to me is a scammer. In the final relationship with email (I like to use email first for communication, because with email we can talk and share much opinion to know better to each other and my english not very good so I need time to translate, if I use whatsapp for chatting it will more difficult to response immediately, I am a kind of person who will feel guilty if after read a message not response immediately, I think that's rude, but to reply immediately sometime I need to translate first and I will waste much time especially if it is in working hours). And then I stop communication with him, but what a surprised, again I met 3 scammers. That's make me feel hopeless to find my mate in online dating, but I am not give up easily, I still believe there must be many good man with sincerity hearth to find his life partner, insha Allah I will meet one in one day when Allah give the permission.

We all pray together to our brothers and sisters in Islam to meet their mate with Allah's permission. May Allah protect us from the scammers. I give you a secret, the more we meet scammers and we can trought it, we will have strong hearth and more confident that Allah always protect us.

Trust Allah's words in Qur'an, a good man is for a good woman, and a good woman is for a good man. A bad man is for a bad woman, and a bad woman is for a bad man. Keep it in our mind and insha Allah we will meet the person who similar with us.

Those scammers did not deceives others then themselves.

KhadijahCare2

Jul 26, 2021 02:20

@Soniya, yes, I am the one who afraid my family or friends know that I try to find someone in online dating, and they will forbid it, because our family afraid if we will meet a bad man from the world we do not know how it will be. But as long as we have a good qnd strong relationship with Allah, then Allah will protect us.

KhadijahCare2

Jul 26, 2021 02:32

All my profile and location is truth, but I feel surprised that someone can deceive the location ?
There is an online dating apps call Muzmath is a good apps, we must open our real location when we first register, and also we must capture our face from yge camera, and the system will save our location and face. Then all our next photos will approve after the system check it. So there is no chance to deceive the location and face.

But the apps has a limited chance to schroll the candidates for those free members. You must wait 12 hours before you get the other chance. And no much people can see us if we don't upgrade to gold member (paid member).

That's for your information.
May Allah give us the opportunity to meet our mate who already written in Lauh Mahdudz since we are not born. We just try our best and the rest let Allah decided for us.

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Deleted User

Jul 26, 2021 05:05

Khadijah, I don't know where you are from...But here in Canada, we have laws that protect us women from abusive, cheater or greedy men. For example, there have been many instances where foreign men have married Canadian women for citizenship only...but thanks to our Govt,,,..those women were able to deport such men.
But I agree with you...there is always an innate fear in us women. May God protect us from greedy and abusive men.

abdo the pure heart

Jul 26, 2021 17:27

Sister 1 I chose to share my personal picture with the person I chose only not with everyone 2 She lives in Bangladesh or in Canada or in India!!!! This is all God’s land and the right person should not be chosen on the basis of ethnicity or race We are all Muslims There is no place for this class And there is no competition between a man and a woman, each complements the other in Islam

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Essentials2021

Jul 28, 2021 00:36

@Soniya,it is very true that a number of man and some cases woman as well from back home got married came UK,USA or Canada and later they divorced their husbands/wife's.

But have you ever tried to know the case history?

I have at-list 5/8 cousin brother & sister ( most of them are born and brought up here in UK),who got married back home and Alhamdulillah they are doing very well. Some of them are married for 25 years.

How come a person brought up in the first word think that someone from a village or even a city,which is way behind than USA or UK,will come here and divorce them? Why? What's the lacking in them in the USA,Canada brought up people? While a village man or woman in Lahore or Panjub should feel proud to have a well educated husband/ wife from first world country.

There is black sheep in every nations and tribe. But that can't be example.

Check some case history from a neutral point of view,I ham sure you will find some hope.
Nothing wrong to get married any where in world.
Everyone has a reason.
Ask the divorced people,why did they got married back home in the first place?

Did they know,there will be a big mental gap between them? Language could be a barrier?

Has they tried to support their spouse to fill those gaps? Like sending them to learn English,allow them to socialise like they do to their brother and sister?

I know some educate people in my family,who are brought up in uk got married with proper village girls/boys who who never been to collage but still made a good happy family. All of them learnt very good English Some of them even went to collage and done their degree. All the women learnt driving and most of them in part or full-time job.

Hardly you can see difference with a UK brought up man or woman. Definitely some people are bad but a large number of plant dies because of proper treatment.

More than half of my life I am in UK and had to be in many case. So talking from first hand experience.

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Essentials2021

Jul 28, 2021 00:40

Sorry don't get me wrong,I am not talking any side. Many cases some people get married just for visa but big number of marriage fails for lack of communication and understandings. That's what found after seeing many cases.

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Deleted User

Jul 28, 2021 02:48

^I didn’t mean everyone from the developing countries betray their spouses from the first world countries. It’s also a preference too. For example, I am Canadian and I have had many guys from the UK ask me out here on the site. I politely declined because I just don’t think UK is as better as Canada compared to job security and life style. I’m just being honest. So, it’s not necessarily that women from the first world countries only reject guys from developing countries. There are reasons.

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Deleted User

Jul 28, 2021 03:09

I agree with you that many marriages fail because of the lack of understanding and communication. I have noticed that in the majority of cases women try to make it work but its usually the men who give up. So, its not that women from the first world are being discriminatory towards men from the developing countries...we just have too much at stake.

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Deleted User

Jul 28, 2021 03:12

@Samer...I just read your comment...How can you say that ALL western men (I am assuming you mean caucasian men) treat women like that? From what I have noticed (I have few friends who are married to caucasian men), they are more marriage material than brown men.

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Essentials2021

Jul 29, 2021 00:59

Soniya,as a south Asian,you must know, a man has a duty towards his own family as well as his parents. If you keep your third eye open,you can see those man ,who come from back home,often from middle class family got to support his family back home up to a certain time. They raised him ,he must support them back.

Problem is not supporting his wife and kid and family back home. Problem is his little earning. If his wife like him & really understand a Muslim man's duty than she will play wise. She will support him to develop his skill and earn better. She will encourage him to support wisely back and crest source of income back home that he won't need to support them financially all of his life except his parents. Sooner the better. That mean wife has to sacrifice she deserves as a wife.

Also some man from back home feel,regardless his family in need or not,he got send everything back home. Some extent it's like a disease. Which is completely wrong.

Often man or woman come from back home get I'll treatment at the beginning and later they became a player. At the very same time people from back get manipulated from her or his parents family & try to support them by all means.

As know ,we can not clap with one hand So it comes from both way. We all blame and claim our innocence rather than find the fact support to resolve those issues.

Last 10 year less them 5% people gone backbone getting married with people from back home. Because the systems gone too hard and everywhere community is big enough to find spouse. Than why the divorce rate is too high?

Did you notice that lot of our weak brother's and sister with physical issue's or out of order,you know what I mean,brought up in US,Canada or Europe might not find a spouse, got married back home and leading a normal family.

So we better say shukria to back home people sometime for many reasons and work to resolve the difference.


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Essentials2021

Jul 29, 2021 01:02

That doesn't mean wife need to sacrifice everything she deserves as a wife.* sorry for typos. It doesn't allow to edit comments.

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Deleted User

Jul 29, 2021 03:29

I just viewed your profile...I don't know how life works in the UK but here in Canada, many immigrant families are adopting the nuclear style family (which means...husband, wife and kids).
Yes, supporting parents is good. But if the parents are well off (retirement money etc.)..is there really need to financially support them? I don't think so...
Also, off the topic...I am not pointing this towards you...but I have noticed UK desi guys are aggressive... i only get troll/offensive messages from the UK southasian/brown guys (never have I gotten any weird messages from any other race or south asian guys settled in Canada/US).. Is there some sort of undiagnosed mental illness going on with desi guys there in the UK??? Sorry if this is offensive but I am genuinely curious.. Is it because UK gives Visa to every illiterate/crude people? No wonder British women are scared..(sorry about the rant..) But I am posting this to warn ladies here.

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Deleted User

Jul 29, 2021 03:45

I am asking this because I am genuinely curious....Is there way to filter out the UK location...so I don't get any weird messages from southasian guys there?

Abrar Qureshi

Jul 29, 2021 05:28

Allah mentions in the Qur'an, treat your parents the way they treated you when you were a baby. This stuff goes beyond money.

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Deleted User

Jul 29, 2021 06:25

Yes I agree with you. But I was specifically talking about money. If kids don’t make enough money ( or are students) and parents are well off then the kids don’t need to financially support their parents.

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Essentials2021

Jul 29, 2021 16:57

Soniya my little sister,you just made me laugh. Hah hah ha. Take it easy. It just light hearted gesture. You just remind me my younger sister who always been bossy. Lol & she is a teacher. Guess what we all had to be her student. Lol now she is more mature and experienced in life. Hahah.

If the age doesn't come with experience & wisdom than its a weight on shoulder. I will come back to you with that. Bit busy now. Have a good day.

abdo the pure heart

Jul 29, 2021 21:57

Unfortunately, with or without a picture, there is no difference. There is something more important. You will definitely answer the message, Where are you from?!!!! Where do you live in Washington DC or in Dakar!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Essentials2021

Jul 29, 2021 23:35

Soniya,let me give you a story,A man came to doctor & said ,doctor I am in serious pain. Doctor asked,show me where is your pain? The guy started,pushing his index finger in different part of the body and said,every part of my body I touch,I fee serious pain.

Than doctor started checking with his plastic hammer. He hit the all the places that patient pointed out and asked,if he is feeling pain? Patient,funny enough,I don't feel any pain.

Than doctor hit on his index finger and than and there patient start screaming in pain. Doctor did the X-ray and said sir,you have a fracture in the finger. That's why where ever you touch,you feel pain. Your finger need to be treated not the body.

Lol. It happens sometime. To understand a issue,we need to neutral. If we start defending before we even understand the fact than we will win but won't be able to resolve any issues in life.

Let go to the your point,design boys will be desi boys. It takes few years to adopt a new society for people. You have to allow them the time.

Less complain helps to live a healthy life. So to filter them just don't respond or react on them. That will do the magic.

For UK jobs and other facilities,Google the the comparison between UK and Canada.

Regarding supporting family,if you have a brother,than you know,regardless what country we live in,we will support our parents& family.

If parents are well of than they need mental and moral support.

Funny thing is,well off people rarely get married to move countries as they can afford to settle with their wealth.

Most of the man & woman come here are from middle class family,where parents spend everything to raise them up and back home no social care fund. If they are solvent than deffo,they
Need anything but moral support.

Defrost some of them are greedy,they don't care,they wand more.

Funny thing is,look at your local community,you will find most of the successful business man,doctor,engineer and other professionals are desi. Lol

It's not only here,if you check any city in the world,most of the successful people came from countryside. There is a good reason for that.

On top of it,internet did the magic,all the boys girls got equal facility to educate themselves. So all over the world,people may talk in different languages but they are not less smart. See in Pakistan,India,Bangladesh,full software engineer,even the school goers doing online freelancing and offer trouble shooting for the first world. Isn't it amazing development since you last time hard of a desi idiot.


I believe in your though process,just switch the neutral mood,you can see and would feel good.

It's not a debate,so keep the leeway for positive discussion. Easy and smile. Stay good.




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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 00:15

Well I guess I’ll try to be neutral. It’s just from my experience, they tend to be odd/socially awkward, weird and downright creepy. But ya I shouldn’t judge. I was pissed off when I made that post because I got a troll message from the Uk desi guy. (As usual only troll messages from the UK desis)
But when it comes to the lifestyle and salaries (at least in my field) also human rights/urbanization/natural beauty/facilities.,Canada is million times ahead than the UK. (My personal opinion.. you don’t have to agree)..I have cousin married in the UK. She also believes the same and wants to move back to Canada. She thinks Uk is a village compared to Canada (London is exception).
I’d rather move to the US... than UK. That’s just my opinion.

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 00:24

Standard of living is higher than the Uk. We have more disposable income.
But the US is ahead than Canada and the UK in terms of salaries and capitalist environment. IT and private health care professionals make a lot of money. In Canada, we have more taxes that’s why lower salaries than the US. UK’s IT industry is not established like Canada and US. Also the nhs healthcare is crowded so salaries are much lower than Canada health care and

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 00:24

* and US private health care institutions

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 00:28

Sorry I meant to say... UK’s IT industry is not established like Canada and the US. Also the UK health care (nhs) is over crowded so UK medical professionals have lower salary than Canada healthcare and the US private healthcare professionals. Hence, Canada has more disposable income than the Uk.
Hope this makes sense
But it all depends what you prioritize in life.

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 00:38

Glad that you moved from the chair. Now you can see the whole picture. Nice of you.

Those who never eat a fish and chips,first time they will find it as very distasteful. That's normal. Hahah. Just kidding. It's a personal choice and preference that's why people emigrated country to country every day. It's absolutely OK.

Just stay open to the situation and keep the thought process right.leave the leeway for others thoughts wisdom ,puzzle will find its own place.

Make peace with desi boys. Forgive them as you would do that to your cousin from back home. Lol

Let's pray for a pure Canadian man for you.

Good to chat you my sister.

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 00:41

Haha I like fish and chips. We have many British restaurants in Toronto with actual English/Scottish chefs.. so the food is definitely quintessential British
But ya, ultimately it’s a preference where you wanna live.

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 00:50

Oh,regarding the nuclear family,it's a forced idea and harsh reality of city life. That helps to have some namesake privacy and financial ease but push in a lonely & depressed life. Often makes self centered & selfish. World become very small. Statistics never says it's a good form of family but a result of money focused and material stick life style that has been adopted by middle class people unknowingly or without a choice.

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 00:55

Good for you. UK is best known for its multi culture and divers community as well as for food. You would never get any place in the world where you can find most of the world's variety of food. You can call London as world food center. Lol

Visit sometime. Country is small but the props heart of hospitality is big.

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 01:01

Sorry it's becoming more of a privet chat now. Haha. Hope the brothers and sisters are not getting bored. Peace and blessings for all.

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 01:10

Discussing about jobs and other facilities here,others might find irritating as this thread was meant to be share the experience,why people ignore massage. So I will stick to that. Maybe we will chat in a different thread. If you create one.

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 01:17

Is this family dynamic really that bad?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Vt4z16n-3eU&feature=share

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 01:21

Sorry that link is not working. What's that?

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 01:23

Also, I have visited UK before....Sorry, but I still love my Canada. lol
I found UK too "small" or kinda underdeveloped (my opinion but then again, I havent visited every city in the UK)
I actually preferred US more than the UK.
Food is also amazing here...Toronto or GTA, Vancouver, Montreal, Edmonton are diversified.. We have a huge south asian community in those cities. Google it.
Places like maritimes are breathtaking. Amazing quality of life too.

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 01:24

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt4z16n-3eU

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 01:24

It should work on.
An example of a nuclear family

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 01:24

work now*

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 01:28

If it's about nuclear family,and there is choice than deffo nuclear family is a bad choice. Just observe the mental and psychological side of few youngsters from joint and nuclear family. You will find a big food for second thought.

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 01:30

Is it little house on the prairie? I completely forgot. I used to watch it too long ago.

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 01:33

I would love to move with a house in a prairie but that's not an example of a nuclear family. Those are the place people make big families. Hahah.

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 01:38

Nuclear family is mom, dad and kids (doesn’t matter how many kids )
So the show is the perfect example of a nuclear family

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 01:42

That's good. So you have visited small delta.hmmm. complain is still there? people for Lahore,panjub or Mirpur,they still love their roti and Gobi's. Lol everyone love the place born or brought up. That's natural and normal. So do you. Are you in health sector? If you need a job,when you come next time let me know,I will find you one lol still don't miss a good Brit's if you find one. Hahah. Also if you don't have a work,Asians husband in uk will still treat you as wife & provide everything a wife deserve. Hahahah
We don't force wife to work for financial support. It's a choice for her. .

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Essentials2021

Jul 30, 2021 01:45

And this kids will grow up,house will be extended in the massive prairie,they get married & create a village. Moving in a prairie with one family is just a begging a khandan not the end of a joint family. The big the prairie the bigger the family.

Samer

Jul 30, 2021 11:45

Nova_khadijah
What I wanted to say above, is that no mater what you do to find a husband/wife. If you remain single this meant to be like that by Allah and this always be your destiny. We are under the will of Allah and his destiny. So I think we don't need to be frustrated. And because we don't know the future, this is blessing and of course this can be a test, patient. Read this...

قُل لَّن يُصِيبَنَا إِلَّا مَا كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَنَا هُوَ مَوْلَانَا ۚ وَعَلَى اللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ التوبة - 51

Say, "Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector." And upon Allah let the believers rely.
Surah 9. At-Tauba, Ayah 51

I know we all want a partner but this can be a test from Allah, so try to be patient and don't be sad.

Abrar Qureshi

Jul 30, 2021 12:32

@essentials very well put. Although our little sister will insha'Allah become wiser one day. I see it very difficult to change her heart. It's turned 360 degrees to an extent when people say you need astagfirullah an incident to change you. But Allah knows best whom he guides. The reason I'm saying is because I have cousins like these and they're in the US and UK not even Canada. Hence I understand my sister's mindset extremely well Not to deny the creepiness of many boys. They're creepy not because they're bad because they don't really know how to be non desi. They're not maybe well exposed. I've noticed and many seem creepy to me aswell, but I realized they just don't know how to talk to a woman and they try to hard, hence they become creepy. Ofcourse there are genuine creeps aswell. My cousin tells me there's a term they call desi people in Canada who are not really proud of their roots and want to morph into a complete westerner. Ofcourse I won't say it. Damn, even the black folks there don't want that. But again wisdom is achieved through experience and age. But hey, each to his, own. Some like it, some don't but at the end of it all this is all a big test and all we want is the best score, the maximum points. I hope we all strive towards pleasing our lord, that's the only thing that can give you PERMANENT PEACE, because that's what we all want right? Permanent Peace of mind. No healthcare, no tax reductions. Non of that can give us PERMANENT PEACE. Rinsing the soul is what we need. Become closer to Allah, knowing that he thinks of you as a one of his best creations and he loves you more than you're parents ever will is a feeling no tax reductions or healthcare benefits can bring me. Allahafiz

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Deleted User

Jul 30, 2021 18:35

^No, I actually get disrespectful messages from them. I just block them.
Don’t just assume things

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Essentials2021

Jul 31, 2021 00:05

Abrar quraeshi, my brother,Badi badi deso main sutii suti bate hote rehtahay.

Disagreement doesn't determine someone's heart status . Some people are just straight forward and honest about their views. If they never claim to be right or flawless than it just a view not a decision and it can change any time with experience.

Hikma is the best medicine in disagreement.

Jzk. Stay well.

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Essentials2021

Jul 31, 2021 00:41

Let's go back to finding the Nemo. Lol More wedding topic will be helpful for the spouse searching community.

Abrar Qureshi

Jul 31, 2021 07:51

Haha @eseentials true our little sister must be a gem at heart and I don't truly disagree with that, just a misguided missile 😛

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Essentials2021

Aug 2, 2021 00:34

Abrar Qureshi,brother we can not determine if someone is misguided or not, based on few convo or topics.
My understanding is,when someone start searching something,from starting point to conclusion point,is transitional period. I only felt someone is still searching and some day Inshaa Allah they will find best.

All we can do is put the info on the table and pray.
So how is your search going? Will wait to see a new thread with your experience.

 

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