Helahel

Trust

Trust

abbas.ali Created Jun 6, 2021 07:02
14 Comments

Why is it so difficult for girls to come to Afghanistan for a week or two to get engaged/married to a guy like me? I mean everything put on my profile is accurate and I am not that kind of a user who deletes his or her account for some unknown reasons, maybe they get frustrated in finding true love online or maybe they are scammers who knows! Anyone who is hesitant to come to Kabul, Afghanistan and not sure of the security situation then I have a question for them, how do I live in Kabul, Afghanistan if the security situation is really that bad? The reason I try to make a girl come to Kabul, Afghanistan is because it's far quicker and easier process then me applying for a visa and waiting a really long long time.

I have the looks, sense of humor, honesty, care, love and passion it's just that I want to live overseas like U.K, U.S.A, Canada and Australia

 

This topic has 18 comments

Blanc Noir

Jun 6, 2021 09:32

I don't understand why you can't grasp the idea of why women won't come to visit you in your country. It should be fairly obvious, as women in Afghanistan many issues. They are often hidden and isolated from society due to the Taliban rule, during the terrible war that has plagued your country. Women and girls are told to stay at home, and can only leave if they are fully covered and accompanied by a male relative. Even in the cities like Kabul, many women wear a chador that completely covers them. The fact that girls live with their husband’s extended family often results in them being treated like servants or slaves, compounding their isolation. A culture prohibiting women to appear in public combined with a widespread lack of education means women enjoy few economic opportunities. In general, women are confined to housework. These discriminatory practices against women are pervasive, occurring across ethnic groups in both rural and urban areas. Many Afghans, including some religious leaders, reinforce harmful customs by invoking their interpretation of Islam. In most cases, however, these practices are inconsistent with Sharia law as well as Afghan and international law. All these things were told to me by my uncle and his family who lived there a few years ago due to work reasons. This should make it obvious why a woman who has never set foot in the country would be hesitant to go there.

Another thing you claim is that the security situation of Afghanistan, can't be bad since you live there comfortably, but you have to remember that at the end of the day you are a man and you can't compare your personal experiences to that of a female there, who don't share the same rights. It's obvious that you want to live overseas in a western country because you want to leave behind your life in Afghanistan. Trust me I understand as an immigrant from a country where things looked bleak, that was my only hope towards living a better life. However, trust me most women from western countries will want to be with someone from their own respective countries, as many feel those from less fortunate areas of the world are using them. The advice I would give you is that if you are truly the talented individual you claim you are then you should take the long way, and apply for a visa from one of these countries. Trying to take shortcuts in life always end up poorly, and never works trust me. Work hard and be honest and InshAllah you will flourish in your dreams and aspirations.

abbas.ali

Jun 6, 2021 10:31

Well as a true man I have to be appreciative of you with some of your points like I want to leave my current life behind and go to overseas which is true but my friend there is something that I am not appreciative of and that's when you wrote like women are told to stay at home and they can go outside only if they are fully covered and with a male relative and that they live with their husband's extended families often result in them being treated like servants and slaves come on! Your points are based on what you have heard or have been told by someone else. I live here and I know what it's like to be in Kabul, Afghanistan it's safe and definitely not scary too! Imagine a girl is ready to come here, I am gonna take her from Hamid Karzai International Airport straight to my home and I will stay with her until she is back to where she came from and I think there is nothing wrong with it considering the fact it's faster and simpler process.

abbas.ali

Jun 6, 2021 10:40

Western ladies look for people from their own respective countries is great but there is something wrong with that as divorce ratio is very high in overseas but once an Afghan is married he ir she is married happily because we don't believe in polygamy.

Hassan393

Jun 6, 2021 18:18

I feel sad for you because people use girls and marriage to get to the country. You might be an exception. But, generally girls cannot see what a man is hiding in his heart. The right way should be that they talk 3-4 months, see if the person is right and judge them then make plan of marrying them. Relocating to another country is not bad expecially when your spouse is from a more developed country than yours. But ditching your spouse is wrong. You take them in your nikah- a biggest vow.
Moreover, if you find someone why dont you move to her place instead of asking her to come visit you.

Hassan393

Jun 6, 2021 18:26

Blanc Noir situation is kabul area is quit peaceful than the rest of the country. It is because you are shown afghanistan in certain way on media, people think that situation is very bad. On the other hand, putting chador by a woman is a good thing in Islam.
I feel what Abbas Ali is saying he is right. He knows that woman he is going to find will never live in Afghanistan so he will have to relocate. There is no problem in it. Problem is if he ditches his spouse after marriage. If he was going to ditch someone he would have never told straight that he wants to relocate.

abbas.ali

Jun 7, 2021 08:31

Thanks Hassan for understanding me. My intentions have always been very clear I want a western lady and there is nothing wrong with it! I have seen some ladies on multiple matrimonial websites for a really long time now! logging into the website 3 - 5 times a day in search for a life partner which is time-consuming and draining yet they are not willing to come to Kabul, Afghanistan and get engaged/married within a week or two and go back to where they came from and get that burden and stress off of themselves once and for all! I want to change my destiny and life by accepting any type of a woman black or white educated or uneducated because I will get used to her habits and hobbies because I am desperate to change my life but what can I do if they don't get it?

Kabul, Afghanistan is a safe place to visit because any girl willing to come here will have me protecting them and being with them all the time! As far as me ditching the girl after getting to my destination, well you have no idea how loyal of a man I am you really have no idea how good of a man I am! All I want is to make the girl come here which is a much faster process then me applying! Why on earth would I ditch someone who is willing to be my wife and make our lives better?

Hassan393

Jun 7, 2021 08:51

Yes you are right applying from Afghanistan would be very difficult than applying to Afghanistan from another country. You said you are open to any woman. You should not consider any woman because after marriage it can cause serious trouble. What you need to do is to talk to someone for a month or 2. Try to understand her personality and if you dont find any conflict than marry her. Remember compassion, loyality, God fearing, love, forgiveness and flexibility in personality should be the formost thing in a spouse. Moreover, she should be understanding you and compromising with you in any condition. And it should not be from her side but from your side as well.

I pray that Allah SWT helps you finding someone but remember you would be in nikkah which will be a vow. .

abbas.ali

Jun 7, 2021 09:51

Well if I find the right woman doing Nikkah would be my pleasure but as you said I should spend some time chatting with her getting to know her, her hobbies, her way of thinking, and her personality. as far as mine are concerned, I am a very outspoken human being, chubby, smart, good looking and educated.

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Deleted User

Jun 7, 2021 10:50

Afghanistan is certainly a very good place, it's said idk but it's said that Taliban when were in power opium production was literally cut of, and there have been claims that a woman in their reign can go from one end of Afghanistan to other, without feeling of any threat against her or her belongings/luggage.
Idk how good people feel or know dynamics of Afghanistan, but MashaALLAH TabarakALLAH the country is mineral rich and with all international powers interested in Afghanistan, it's foreseeable future seems quite bright, financially and otherwise, when you are in such a rich country what's the need to leave, and suppose it's not a good country and you try leaving it whose gonna work for it's betterment, plus akhi you are outrightly propagating you wanna change your life that's why you seek marriage with a foreign woman, if you would have said you like foreign woman because they are more appealing than their local counterparts than it might have made sense, Yani over this you are saying be it black or blue you will get used to it, that's desperation and at the same time insincerity cause you feel in the pan, you are not marrying for traits or deen, if this is not immigration through marriage than what is, Afghanistan is a safe place are afghans not willing to marry you and if it's safe why you are so afraid regarding your future, I used to believe that afghans are a warrior nation who never bow down, but reading this whole post made me feel their are exceptions.
Honestly brother, everything is qadr, don't stress yourself over dunya, try making life better their it's heart of khorasan.
Idk if you understand Urdu but there's a couplet.
تری خودی میں اگر انقلاب ہو پیدا؛
عجب نہیں ہے کہ یہ چار سو بدل جائے

تری دعا ہے کہ ہو تیری آرزو پوری
میری دعا ہے تیری آرزو بدل جائے۔

abbas.ali

Jun 7, 2021 13:27

Sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm! I don't want to get to that topic of why international powers are so interested in Afghanistan as that includes pakistan too and that puts a stigma on the image of Pakistan. Of course! Afghanistan is mineral rich that's why international powers are so interested in it but normal people like me have no idea of those mineral that you have mentioned.

Why I am not willing to get married to my own Afghans is because it costs a lot to get married in Afghanistan and it's not just about costing a lot for marriage but also the unemployment rate in Afghanistan is getting higher and higher day by day and that's why I try to do immigration through marriage which is totally acceptable and trustworthy as I am fully bent on one wife whoever that lucky one is black or white fat or skinny tall or short no problem all I want is a practicing muslima who can take care of me and build a life with me that's what I really want! That's what i dream of and that's what i believe i deserve after all my honesty!

helahel.com is a global matrimonial website and I am looking for just one lady one lady to come here and get engaged /married to me which I believe shouldn't be a difficult task.

Samer

Jun 7, 2021 14:21

I don't want to disappoint you but I think you need reality check. Women in the west are 99% atheists, so this is one first step that blocking your future marriage. And I don't think western women are interested to become Muslim. They have their own life style that is not compatible with Muslim life style.

To be frank, I have everything that every woman will like but I can't find 1 woman that believe in God. Plus they are looking for someone look like Brad Pitt. And don't forget your education must be high too. Women in the west want a successful man and don't forget, women in the west have everything they need and they are not looking for someone to build their life with. Even a Muslim women in the west will never try to know you cos you have nothing to offer. Don't tell me that you are honest man, they don't buy that.Try to reach a high level of education and find a decent job after that she will find you. Too much dreams and fantasy will hit back on you.

abbas.ali

Jun 7, 2021 15:40

So money talks everywhere! But no problem I believe they can keep searching for a life partner but never someone whom they can trust for their entire life. With all due respect to all western men but divorce ratio is very high in overseas and deep down western ladies know it too!

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Deleted User

Jun 7, 2021 16:18

Best of luck, you definitely are an honest person, you are pitching your immigration sales without any hesitation. But to move out education is a better idea.
Statistically speaking, every country had lockdown and downsizing and not every economy is back on track yet. But anyways you won't buy it. I wasn't being sarcastic but I think brother is right. You have nothing to offer, you are critical about the very system you wanna be part of and an eye peeler you are trying to use a woman for your ends being met. Wallahi. Can't imagine this kinda people exist and wallahi. The audacity.

Anyways.

SalamAliekum

abbas.ali

Jun 7, 2021 18:28

You are right I have nothing to offer except true love and honesty and by honesty I mean I will stick with that lady my entire life because she by then have done me a favor of marriage and there is no way I am gonna leave her and if all these look fake then I guess there are still some brainless people around.

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Deleted User

Jun 7, 2021 21:27

No no it's not fake, buddy just a note, being courteous, showing gratitude and loving are two very different thing.
Your being faithful in this case seems driven by the initial favour, on the other side imagine, the lady who in such gratitude situation will think you as being bound to be faithful Yani I hope you understand, meaning since she favoured you, so your complete existence is due to her favour, and in return you would be honest and all that you say you would, but if she takes it for granted that is totally not wrong and you are already agreeing to it. I hope you got the point.
Brother this is not love, love is condition less and it itself is good enough reason. You are not bound to love due to favour or something like that. It happens it's natural, it isn't conditioned.
Now also consider someone does this favour to you and that lady are married and you feel obligated to be honest faithful and loyal, and the real love which happens, happens with someone else now you will be grilling yourself or you won't remain faithful. So you must know these pros and cons.
Yet another thing, a lady favouring you, the kids will still be her's they might feel good about how you started the family and or they might not just try contemplating what might go through their minds, the western society and every factor you can ponder.
Honest advise, think it through before you go through.
Rest is up to you.

SalamAliekum warahmatullah wa brakatahu

abbas.ali

Jun 8, 2021 05:11

Well I have to agree with you like love isn't conditioned and that love happenes naturally I have waited thirty years of my life and still nothing has happened so I decided to be proactive or make things happen rather than waiting for things to happen still I had to write all those things as I meant each and everyone of those lines!

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Deleted User

Jun 8, 2021 06:59

Don't worry.
If it's qadr it'll happen.

Best wishes brother.
One last thing, in our country there's a saying maali Kam c Pani Pana Bhar Bhar mashkan paway Rab da Kam si phal Phil dena DEWA deway ya na deway.
Yani a Gardner only can water, Rab gives fruit.
Don't loose hope do your feet leave the rest to ALLAH SWT. Things do settle in due time.

SalamAliekum

abbas.ali

Jun 8, 2021 10:35

Inshallah!

 

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