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CHANGE YOUR INTENTION & EXPECTATIONS

CHANGE YOUR INTENTION & EXPECTATIONS

DEEDAT Created Jun 4, 2021 10:28
22 Comments

Asalaam Alaikum. If our muslim sisters in here don't make a move to change their intentions and expectations on the factors to consider for the right man for marriage/Family and Nikkah in line with what Allah commanded and what Rasool taught us, then trust me they will end up blaming Allah and others for not being able to find a husband . And if they find one; it will be the one who is going to oppress them.and end up loosing faith in love.

Life that you're seeking in your expectations for marriage is based on a 1 or 2 hours Fantasy Movies or dramas. Its not a reality. So much to loose...for the sake and pleasure of Allah.


 

This topic has 23 comments

Abrar Qureshi

Jun 4, 2021 11:30

Exactly and by the time they do realize this they're around 100 years old and upset about how life was unfair to them💁‍♂️

DEEDAT

Jun 4, 2021 14:20

@Abrar Absolutely brother they put much emphasis on useless matters even if the man is seriously devoted for who they are and vows to take care of them.
Pride is what they got...but they must rrmeber that so many beautiful,educated girls born everyday aging on daily basis and soon they gonna replace them and have no chance as they have now...life is too short. The rate of change is very fast nowdays not only in tech things but in all aspects of our lives ...cos we are towards the end of time. RELATE!!!

Abrar Qureshi

Jun 4, 2021 16:55

This might sound harsh but at the end of the day everything else is replaceable

DEEDAT

Jun 4, 2021 17:14

On point brother...you have just hit the target!
We can't always get what we want but we shouldn't regret for something close to our wishes. And be careful of what you wish for...! Genuine is rare...every comfort has a high painful and stiff price. If you know you know...so my sisters...Wise Up...its a short journey from Allah...for Allah and back to Allah.

Abrar Qureshi

Jun 5, 2021 06:41

True brother. Life here is such a short journey.

Farid

Jun 5, 2021 08:04

Abrar is actually a great catch. The women here seriously don't know what they're missing.

DEEDAT

Jun 5, 2021 10:30

That's a matterof fact for sure...
But its also not wrong to say thst: it could be a sign to us that Allah is exposing them to us thst they are not really up to marriage for Allah's sake with pure intentions and sincerity.
We must be alert. The good and best one doesn't really require a chasing...they don't run away...theyre just bluntly straight to the point

Farid

Jun 8, 2021 05:46

I have found that some women here are extremely sensitive. I asked one what her name was, and she blocked me haha. I mean seriously. It’s almost as if they have mental health issues. May Allah (swt) help them.

Hassan393

Jun 8, 2021 11:12

You are right. I joined this website with the intention of marrying someone in a halal way. For me, age or ethnicity doesnot matter. But, girls have high expectations, I dont know why. I see most girls here are above age bracket 31-32. Its clear they couldnot find prince charming before. I feel for them and I even text them. I have even tried to text more than 15 years older with different ethinicity. But they never reply or they see me in a skeptical way. They feel I am looking for nationality or something else.
The problem with me is that I am fully bald at this young age. Due to this I look 10-12 years older. Girls of my age wouldnot marry me so I try to talk someone older. I will moving abroad, most likely some western country, in coming years since I rightnow is working for a UK based company. Without marriage you can fall into sinful ditches anytime in those countries especially when you were raised in a strict country. I want to know some one well and marry before moving out.
But girls here. Some dont want to compromise on any of thier conditions and some get skeptical.

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Deleted User

Jun 8, 2021 13:35

That is the opposite in my case.
I made some move by messaging someone I interested to, but almost all of them ignoring my messages after open my profile 😅 well, it is kinda hard to find a right and sincere partner when you are physically different 🤷🤷🤷
Do I sound desperate??
Errr... I hope not! Lol

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Unknown

Jun 8, 2021 18:00

Assalum alaikum

I think it is unfair and no-one’s place to judge sisters‘ intention and motives.
Only Allah knows the hearts.
Reading your comments make me think that perhaps the sisters are not to be blamed. You- brothers- are our protectors. How can you think it is acceptable to judge and criticise?
One thing we want I believe as women is someone who is not judgmental and not putting intentions into our hearts.
We are all entitled to our criteria, personal preferences whether they seem realistic or not to others.
It is not for anyone to comment except scholars as they are best placed to advise and do so with gentleness and wisdom.
Jazaakomallahu khayr
Your sister in Islam.

Assalum alaikum

Abrar Qureshi

Jun 9, 2021 11:49

Although I completely agree with you sister unknown. But the hypocrisy of most women here is hilarious. Their ego's are sky rocketing for no reason. The younger they are the more immature they are. But then they complain later in life. I have spoken to the complaining desperate one's aswell. I feel sorry for them. If only you had been less egoistic and proud. Just like you sis they asked the same question how can you judge? But they themselves do the same thing 💁‍♂️ this lady from my country I was so nice to her, very patient. I told her I need one day few minutes to ask you questions. We agreed but when we started talking she said I'll be leaving in 15 minutes. I was like what's wrong with her. Anyway I ignored that. She said she'll answer all the questions later and she left. I told her if you're not serious about this you can let me know and guess what she did the typical. She went off. Now that's the quality of people you get here. Majority here are like this.

Abrar Qureshi

Jun 9, 2021 11:57

We had been speaking for a month. She would reply every weekend. And when we actually came to talk she said she had 15 minutes. Now that's disrespect. Clearly. Now I don't like when those same men abuse these women but you must understand where it comes from sis. Many of the guys have been very patient here but the disrespect they've received is unbelievable. And trust me guys don't talk about this enough only till recently. Ask any guy. They're still being gentlemanly about it, ofcourse many start abusing aswell but it's a two way street. Respect.

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Unknown

Jun 9, 2021 14:43

Assalum alaikum
Abrar- everyone is different. I take people for who they are not for who I think they are based on my experiences.
I think it is wrong to judge and label sisters or anyone else. As much as I think it is a sad reality that mankind in general then Muslims specifically are increasingly dishonest, ill mannered I still dont use the same brush to paint people. In this case, I would not be communicating with anyone nor anyone would with me. May Allah guide us all and forgive us all ameen.

Abrar Qureshi

Jun 9, 2021 17:49

Walekum Assalam unknown. Yes absolutely I also don't paint everyone with the same brush. But as you mentioned these are just based on my experiences. Ameen. May Allah bless us all. Allahafiz.

Coffee Bean ☕

Jun 10, 2021 19:29

Well seems not much guys here know what they want. Alot just want to play. I mean it's matrimonial site, not dating site. We're here supposed to find something serious that lead to marriage.

Abrar Qureshi

Jun 11, 2021 06:35

Assalam coffee bean. Partly I would agree with you. There are few men who want to play around. But there are real serious ones who just want a partner be it from anywhere. So would you go for someone from a foreign country or would you look at what kind of a person he is be it from any country? What I mean is that do you have a country that you specifically want to marry? Because as mentioned many women here talk about not finding a partner but they're usually being very picky.

Turkm

Jun 13, 2021 10:16

Assalum alaikum
To all brothers and sisters, don't judge each other based on the other side response to your approach because 90% here is a fake characters the web master (the one who administrate this site) made them to populate the site unless you are welling to visit an empty site for zwaje (marriage), and half of the last 10% or maybe more are scammers, every day/night and every hour when you sign in, you notice the number of people who are online around 160 - 220 always the same maybe there is a slightly changes, it make me thinking why the administrators are laying??? these numbers absolutely fake!!!

So my advice to all brothers don't judge the other party based on your experience here.

Turkm

Jun 13, 2021 10:19

And maybe the administrators will delete my account after these comments, so Assalum alaikum and hope all your wishes come true.

Best regards
Mohammad al turk

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Unknown

Jun 13, 2021 14:07

Wa alaikum Salam wa rahmattullahi wa barakatuh

I hope that the admin will not delete your account for sharing your views.

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Unknown

Jun 13, 2021 14:11

I would like the admin to take actions regarding the numerous accounts who have been dormant: inactive for months and months. It will drastically reduce the number of members but undoubtedly improve the quality of the site.
The only reason I think these members are still on the site is to keep numbers of members high. Is that necessary, one may wonder.

Turkm

Jun 13, 2021 15:01

That a good suggestion Unknown, but i would like to add showing more info about the members like the registration date so you can tell if this account is dead or not, and you can know if this a new account or an old account.

P.S: most scammers have new accounts because they have to always change their accounts

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Unknown

Jun 13, 2021 15:56

Good point Masha’Allah

 

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