Will you travel to other country to see your future wife?

Will you travel to other country to see your future wife?

Zahra Created Oct 3, 2020 14:00

Assalamu'alaikum brother/sister, I want to know, especially from boys, if you actually ready to visit your future wife who live in other country?

Will you visit her if you never see her before?
It's hard for me to post or send picture for boys.

If you want to visit her before you ever see her, what is the reason?
And if you don't want to visit before you see her, also what's the reason?

Wish Alloh makes easy to meet husband/wife aamiin

Thank you


This topic has 53 comments


Oct 5, 2020 02:49

Thank you gulam, how to ensure the authenticy your future partner?

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Deleted User

Oct 18, 2020 05:10

Wa, aleykumu salam sis personally I would not travel five miles out side my town. Would you travel?

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Deleted User

Oct 18, 2020 05:27

The reason been one is I have met the person online which is the most difficult place to meet the right person, second it is permissable to see your future spouse beforehand so what are they hiding that they refuse to share their photo in an islamic way and third what if i travelled to the other end of the world and I or you was not who i have had in mind.


Oct 21, 2020 00:16

@gulam-e-mustfa I can't wait you tell it. Wish you have time to share, thank you.

@abdul, if I am a man I will visit to make sure I can live with her or not in the future. Because I think online things are different from real life. In online maybe people lie their age or else. Someone 60 can say 20 if they want in online.

If a man ask a woman to visit him than he visit her, honestly I don't know if he can be a good husband later.

Besides I don't like to share pictures to boys.

So Abdul from your experience what you ask to see from her until you finally visit her.

Thank you for sharing


Oct 21, 2020 13:35

Salam Alaykom will dear sister read what prophet Mohammad (Pbuh) said:
Al-Mughirah bin Shu'bah proposed to a woman, so the Prophet said: "Look at her, for indeed that is more likely to make things better between the two of you."
so Mohammad (Pbuh) said have a look for you both
Now put yourself in his place: Would you agree to incur the hassle and expense of traveling to go see a man faraway from you while you dont know hoow he look ?
will it is not all about pretty or not just knowing who i am talking to that what man think
if you please allow me to state that I read what you wrote on your page and found you an honest, realistic woman. I do not think that this point if you think about it will be a hindrance
I do not tell you send your picture from the first conversation, but rather I say that I am satisfied with him so send the picture after Istikharah


Oct 21, 2020 13:45

Excuse me i wish to ask you a question: What next after he comes to you?
You already have seen him and accept him in a large percentage, supposed yes?
Then you are more acceptable. Or will you tell him I need time to think and come back and wait?
We are in a situation in which we trust in God, we pray Istikharah and take reasons

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Deleted User

Oct 22, 2020 03:06

Seeing is better, than not seeing, I think and it's permissable, how a girl lives in her parents home is not what matters most, what matters is is she truthful, and on deen, how a boy lives doesn't matter much, men tend to change with company, usually a couple makes a family a house a home so if you have the right ingredients and will as recipe you will InshaALLAH become a good family.
As far as traveling is concerned, usually all visa authorizing authority ask for place of stay, mention the address you are visiting for, this may trigger inquiry for confirmation, one will know how truthful the other is, as far as picture is concerned, if a man says he's 30 and is 60 he won't be able to hide that well provided he furnishes a picture which isn't old, a woman is capable of doing that, Yani hiding if she wishes, but the point is you don't marry age of a person rather you marry the person, many humans defy age, and often heard it's just a number, anyways if someone is lying, don't we have the option of doing talak or khula, yes no one wishes treading it but deceit already nullify nikah.
Yet another aspect is fear, fear that you can be mistreated in a foreign land, no knowledge of language, Yani someone can possibly trade you. Pun wished.
Don't do pictures, get a good cam, make video call, include a family member so you don't cross your line. Will is what it takes, hurdles and fear are natural and human, where there's a will there's a way.

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Deleted User

Oct 25, 2020 04:34

Ukhti I totally agree with you all most all of us lie but the question is how long can they hide behind the screen. The truth will come out sooner or later and personaly I rather be honest about the basics such us how I look, my age, and my previous marital status if I had one before. but then all these depends on one's intention for example are they here to get married or for other reasons. The other thing is that you only know the person goodness or badness when you start living together as a spouse and these is when the reality kicks in

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Deleted User

Nov 2, 2020 10:45

My opinion is that in a normal circumstances a man should first visit a girl and talk with her mahrams and family. No doubt. But if someone want to marry now in Corona time, and they are not willing to wait too much, maybe she should go to him, if they agree for her to relocate of course. Cause in this Corona situation it takes at least few months to wait for a flight, so he goes and comes back, then waiting again for her flight... It might take very long time.

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Deleted User

Nov 2, 2020 10:52

And I'dike to make a very important point, I'd like sisters to think about this deeply.
I already said that in normal circumstances a man should go to her country to visit her family and talk to them. But a huge mistake happenes often, and that is-he goes, they are getting married, they are in love, they have s*x, they spend the most amazing few weeks or months together and he has to go back... Never sees him again. And many times she is left pregnant. I know this for a fact.
This is why I think that is way more important for her and her family to visit him, cause you going to live there, spend life there... You have to see his house, his job, talk with his family... Nowdays the world is full of lies unfortunately, it is not hard to have a couple of thousand of dollars, come to your country, impress you and your family with kind words that are not true... But you should really visit him, to see if he is telling the truth.

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Deleted User

Nov 4, 2020 01:57

travel is not important as Internet and video is enough to share information

Mostly women speak lie and give false information and bring men travel to waste money and time, many many men are victim by women

I do not think in first stage man should travel, many women nowadays travel to man to meet also

so in marriage man is not alone responsible to follow what woman say or demand.

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Deleted User

Nov 4, 2020 01:59

this women do not have picture ........................this kind of women either has husband or boyfriend and online date and ask man to travel then kidnap and ask money


Nov 9, 2020 20:21

Islam Alikum
I am willing to travel to another country to be with my future wife.
I also offer another suggestion or another solution

We will both travel to another country (third country)
For example, if we decide to travel to Turkey in Istanbul, for example, to live there for a few years. Or for life


Nov 14, 2020 10:31

Wa alaikumsalam brothers, thank you for sharing, really useful. Sorry I just visit again today.

@gulam, nice tips to check real identity, if you have more you can share again

@amr, after visit if he likes me I think is discussion for next plan. Like when nikah will be done, where, how? Also deals for future like where will live, how often visit my family or maybe family visit me, if husband maybe can't have long holiday for vacation.

@abdul, you are right when living together usually we will know the real him or her.
I wish us have good husband or wife. To know and choose good husband/wife is very important because if not we will have a homework and we don't know if we can handle it or not.
Like I don't like smoker so I wish my husband not a smoker, also not bad things addict who can't keep his eyes safe from harom things.
Also I want peaceful home, so if can't control his words, better I am patient to wait better man.
What I can wish from a man who yell or use bad words. Today it is not only a matter of tongue but also a matter of thumb.

@za, maybe the idea to meet in another country is good. But for me visiting other country is expensive. That's why I don't plan to visit him. Better he visits me if he wants to meet me.

So brothers how long you need usually until you visit her?

Thank you


Nov 14, 2020 10:53

Zahra you want man to come to you and pay all this money while he just read about you ?
it is not just he see your photo also he must be sure if you and him will be together THEN he will pay to come to you not to see you


Nov 14, 2020 11:23

@amr, I think it is his choice. If a man can travel to any part of the world so why he is afraid of visiting his future wife.
Doesn't he have Alloh to ask for protection?

Actually does the money the only reason for brothers?

I think here we can meet people from other country so brothers need to prepare the money because marry wife from other country usually needs more money.

Brothers who are not ready with extra money maybe can talk to same country sisters or maybe same city.

I don't have problems if husband from other country, if he is serious and good man, he will take care best for me insyaalloh.

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Deleted User

Nov 14, 2020 12:13

I won't say say imposible because allah knows what is written but also we need to ask our selves is it logical as I said before finding one online is all ready difficult and with your option is an additional barrier.


Nov 14, 2020 13:01

@abdul,usually if a man marry someone from other country he visits her first.
If not so how it will happen?
The couple is from different country.

That's why I say boys must be realistic if he can't support for other country wife maybe because no money to visit, just try to find from same country or city.

If I am a man, I will try to provide her best. And I need to understand a woman of my level that I can support.

Not harom getting help or support from a future wife but in the position of a leader for her, how can I look for protection from her also in money?

In nikah also in mahr, it should be man gives best to respect her and she makes him easy.

If both understand this, it will meet at the best deal. Man will not be stingy to her, and she will not be greedy to him.

Thank you brother, wish we meet best husband or wife aamiin

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Deleted User

Nov 14, 2020 13:44

Sis my point is not about providing or travelling it is about making international journey to meet some one that I have no Idea of how they look like because they preferred not to share their photo. Yes if I lived in the neighbourhood but travelling all the way west to east to get disappointed.

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Deleted User

Nov 14, 2020 13:48

The most important thing is iman faith and fear of God.For me, appearance does not matter, why do I need a beautiful appearance when there is a trash can inside a person,

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Deleted User

Nov 14, 2020 14:18

I totally agree with you Iman and taqwa are the most important part but lets be honest, most of us wouldn't be in a dating site if we were only looking for some one with only Iman

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Deleted User

Nov 14, 2020 14:19

And akhi I said most of us I do not mean all of us

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Deleted User

Nov 14, 2020 16:08

I don’t know about others, I’m looking for a woman with iman, and appearance is not important to me Alhamdulillah


Nov 14, 2020 17:41

@abdul,maybe some girls are fine to share photos, if you are comfortable with girls who can share with you because you require it, you can choose her.

But some maybe not comfortable sharing photos like me. Or maybe some brothers also don't make beauty as priority.

When a brother or a sister makes deen and good characters as his or her priorities and make beauty or handsome less important, I think it means if between two, there is a good woman but not so beautiful and there is a beautiful girl but not so good in deen and characters, so he will choose the first.

Some boys think to choose beauty over deen and good characters, he is very confident that he can teach her with his knowledge after this beautiful girl but not so good deen is married.

I think actually they choose a big homework after nikah. Let's say by choosing the girl not only because of her beauty, some choose because her culture, similar age.
Not wrong at all, but I think if it comes after deen and good characters.

There is always probability to failed to handle this homework and during the process there are so many time, energy also emotion play.

How many husband finds his wife difficult to wear hijab?
Or how many wife finds her husband difficult to quit smoking or bad things he sees on internet or phone?

It's tiring if we have such homework, and the marriage usually not productive in way of Alloh.

Of course usually with similarities will be easier but I have seen a couple that maybe we think looks impossible, because he speaks French and she speaks English and almost don't know one another language, but with help of Alloh they marry and live happily. He is one of imam masjid and his wife not only speak different language but also different culture from him.

@abu maryam al salafy, you are right about the priority. Just today when beautiful girls are easily seen and accessed, like in internet or social media, it changes some boys thinking, they start to have a definition of beauty like what they see every day.

I think beauty itself can be 2 types, that most people agree and that you agree.

Maybe for many people, she is not so beautiful, but she can please his eyes with sweet smile, good words and nice manner.

So choose the beauty or handsome at our level.
Some boys think they are so handsome or girls think they are too beautiful so becomes too picky in appearance.
I think everyone of us is best creation of Alloh, so insyaalloh no one ugly.

Really thank you brothers to share thinking and advice, insyaalloh bring goodness for us. Aamiin.

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Deleted User

Nov 14, 2020 18:26

Ready to Marry a disabled woman, and a woman with physical disabilities, but with iman, and faith in Allah,if there are such sisters let me know, all praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds☝️


Nov 14, 2020 18:37

@abu maryam al salafy, what if she is not from your country? Will you visit and stay with her in her country or you will bring her to your country?

Insyaalloh you will have the best wife, and Alloh makes you best husband, aamiin

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Deleted User

Nov 14, 2020 19:18

I would certainly like to bring her to my country, Jazakallahu Hayran, sister


Nov 15, 2020 01:51

@abu maryam al salafy, if you are really interested to help the sister and choose it as a worship field to Alloh, if you have time, maybe we can discuss the thing seriously.

Thank you

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Deleted User

Nov 15, 2020 05:13

My dear sister I read your requirements on your page, they are not possible, I understand everyone has their own requirements, but Men also need attention, care,Just remember one detail, Allah created women for Men, not vice versa,


Nov 15, 2020 08:36

@abu maryam al salafy, thank you for visiting my profile. Which requirements that are not possible? So I can think again.

I wish to understand more about the statement of woman created for man, maybe any reference from Quran and hadith that I can read.

Does it mean woman is very important for man so Alloh creates her for him?
Like Alloh creates oxygen for us, it is not oxygen needs us, but we need and can't live without oxygen.

Thank you brother for the advice

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Deleted User

Nov 15, 2020 09:34

My dear sister, Love each other for the sake of Allah, and forget worldly concerns, then you will feel peace and happiness,


Nov 15, 2020 16:17

@abu maryam al salafy, which my concerns that wordly ?

Thank you a

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Deleted User

Nov 16, 2020 11:18

As~Salaam Alaikum 🕋

I have to agree with Maryam, you may want to reconsider rewriting your profile...
Firstly you start off with polygamy and then write a mini essay about it.

When reading a sisters profile I like to know 3 things about her.

1) Her personality, what are her hobbies? What does she do in her free time? This would tell me if we have any connections.

2) How she practices Islam, does she follow the 5 pillars of Islam religiously or does she need improvement?

3) what she is looking for in a husband, (personality type, ethnicity, career ect)


Nov 16, 2020 12:19

@ First please change or delete the hole rely because you wrote Allah as Alloh
second it is OK to travel to other country and pay to marry here but sister think about that
when a man want to mary here in my country he may go to 20 ladies home before he marry one (may be he accept here or she dont accept him or financial talks not fair
So as you think i have to travel to other may be 3 or 7 or may be 12 countries to Just see
dear sister if you insist so you must forget internet then look for other way
if a lady is not pretty so Allah can make her pretty to other man

i think this topic you ask so we answer
so it is not some thing to discuss


Nov 17, 2020 12:51

@ First please change or delete the hole reply because you wrote Allah as Alloh
second it is OK to travel to other country and pay to marry here but sister think about that
when a man want to mary here in my country he may go to 20 ladies home before he marry one (may be he accept here or she dont accept him or financial talks not fair
So as you think i have to travel to other may be 3 or 7 or may be 12 countries to Just see
dear sister if you insist so you must forget internet then look for other way
if a lady is not pretty so Allah can make her pretty to other man

i think this topic you ask so we answer
so it is not some thing to discuss


Nov 18, 2020 00:46

Wa alaikumsalam brothers thank you for advice me

@hamzajosiah, I add my personality and hobby already, maybe you can comment if it looks good now.
Do you think I should not talk about poligamy?
Because actually I am more comfortable with single man than married man. Poligamy needs to share husband and I like if husband is fully attention and affection to me.

@amr, it is writing only, but same meaning. In my country we don't say salah because it means wrong here, right or wrong in my language, benar atau salah. Here some write salat or solat. Like sadaqah here we write sodaqoh or sedekah.

Here we don't do that much like 20 visit like in your country. Because it is not just visit like visiting friends. A man who visit for marriage I think should understand his probability first if he will be accepted or not.
Maybe some people are nothing too loose, but it seems like gambling because he just try, if she accepts he is lucky and if she doesn't accept he will look another.

Especially other country relationship usually he visits not to like or don't like. It is more to make sure about what he has liked already. He can already like her personality, knows her height weight so have idea about her look, just to make sure when he visit that she is true like she said.

If she is really 30s not 6os years maybe. If she is fatty as she said not too obesity. Again it is about your interest to her, so maybe not same one another.

But even like @abu maryam al salafy who wants to marry disable, I think he has normal interest to woman he will marry.

It is normal because wife is someone who will be around you so you will need interest if not her beauty it could be her good words or manner.

Wish us get husband or wife who can cool our eyes, aamiin.

Thank you

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Deleted User

Nov 18, 2020 10:06


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Deleted User

Nov 18, 2020 11:07

I think you should paragraph your profile in an order similar to this...

~ Introducing yourself
~ Telling us what you do
~ Telling us what you do
~ Telling us your personality
~ Telling us your Islamic beliefs
~ Telling us what you want your future husband to be like
~ Finally your marriage beliefs

Just some friendly advice 😊


Nov 18, 2020 23:58

Thank you brothers, like to know you are kind to advice me.

@ayala, maybe you want to tell more.
I don't understand with your short comment only.

@hamzajosiah, I have changed my profile following your advice. Although I don't really understand with Islamic and marriage beliefs. But I try to write, and if it is wrong, will you tell me what I should write?

Do you think now is better?
Or what else to add?

Thank you

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Deleted User

Nov 19, 2020 03:07

Alhamdulillah! I think that's a very well written profile. I understand your stress, your writing a profile on a marriage site for a partner in Jannah. it's a big step to take.

Know all you have to do is find the one!

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Deleted User

Nov 19, 2020 03:13

Have you thought anymore about finding a husband from your own country? By all means look abroad, but I wouldn't add too many hurdles... We need to be realistic about moving abroad... Visa, finance, language, career, culture ect... All play a big part in marriage also.


Nov 20, 2020 19:30

@ Zahra Names do not translate that was wrong too much wrong even if 100.000.000 do it still wrong
you pray with Al Fateha wrong if that what you say
hope you understand that

still cant imagine how you think you found some one come to you wile he know you from words


Nov 21, 2020 09:19

Thank you for telling me.

@amr, are you angry? Sorry my English basic, I don't understand what you words here:
still cant imagine how you think you found some one come to you wile he know you from words.

Which my words wrong, if you tell, I will try to be better later.

Sorry if my words make you not comfortable.

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Deleted User

Nov 24, 2020 20:03

Only if i have what it takes to travel


Nov 25, 2020 09:34

Thank you brother
@on demand, I think you will have it brother, innallaha ma'ana. You will get help from Allah.

What will make you decide to travel to other country for your future wife?
Imagine you never see her before, will you go?

Thank you

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Deleted User

Nov 25, 2020 17:22

Desperate men travel abroad to poorer countries for marriage because the women in their own countries reject them because his wealth status is not above hers. These poor men facing a miserable lonely life end up becoming desperate enough to go to some poor muslim country to find a poor muslim woman (because even the middle class women in these poorer countries will reject them on the basis of money).
These poor women marry these men from the richer western countries to get a free passport and access to the wealth of the west, it has nothing to do with love or her liking him but she tolerates him enough to enjoy the higher standard of life in the west.
It boils down to the man getting intimacy from his village wife in return for money and a materialistic life in the west.
She married him only because of what he can do for her, not because she likes his personality, his values, religious practice.
If this same poor woman was born in the west, she would not even look twice at the same man she married for the passport.

It is extremely rare for a man to travel from a poor country like nigeria or bangladesh and go to the emirates or germany to marry a woman who has more money than him

Unless you want to get used for your wallet in return for some intimacy, I would advise men not to travel abroad for marriage.
But you can migrate to a muslim country, settle there, hide your wealth and passport status and see if you can find a sincere genuine woman who will marry you because she likes you as a person and knows that you are already settled in her country so she won't be expecting you to take her shopping at Harods in London


Nov 26, 2020 08:22

I agree

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Deleted User

Nov 27, 2020 16:22

If you are living in a muslim country, it's very easy for a woman to get married, if she goes to her local masjid she will easily get many single men interested in marrying her. Why would you reject the local single men in your area and expect to find prince charming online in some foreign country and then ask him if he will come to visit you. Something is not right when a woman who lives in a muslim country surrounded by many muslim men, rejects them and looks online.
The same applies to women who live in densely populated muslim areas in the west. Any large local masjid will always have lots of single men available for marriage. All it takes is for her to go and speak to the Imam. Sure these men may not have a Phd or rock a David Beckham haircut but they are still very eligible for marriage.


Nov 27, 2020 19:03

Thank you brothers for the comments

@singleguy, actually I don't know if desperate men go to poorer country to marry. But I think we will get what we want to get. If his goes to other country with good heart to marry a muslim woman, I think Allah will help him if he asks help from Allah.

But some people look for other things. When a man look for beauty then usually the beauty look for money.

Because I think if a woman has good deen, she will look at your deen first, then it can be your handsome or your wealth or your social life.

We know get the perfect and have the 4 criteria are lucky, usually people only get 2 of them. Maybe man choose deen and her beauty even she is not educated or poor. Or maybe he choose her deen and education even not so beautiful
But as muslim, if you want to get good wife, you need to make deen as first choice. Same me need to put his deen on top.

Even we wish good husband/wife, it doesn't mean he has to be a Hafiz 30 juz, because here to meet a future husband not looking for imam masjid.

So good deen in general is no problem for me. Having a Hafiz husband is nice, and Allah knows best for me and us.

Positive thinking to Allah and the fate is important I think, maybe he is not yet a Hafiz but he has good deen and character also shows strong motivation to be a better muslim, this must be appreciated. Because how a revert can be a Hafiz in few months while we who born Islam are not yet Hafiz.

Everything should be in proportion I think.

I don't understand too why a man needs to hide his wealth or afraid of bringing her wife shopping to Harrods if this can make wife happy, do it for her.

Happy wife happy life.
It's not only good for you as her husband but also your kids.

Actually I don't reject local men, but I don't feel comfortable if I have to talk to imam masjid.

@abdauallah, which part you agree?

Thank you

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Deleted User

Nov 27, 2020 21:08

Happy wife happy life, there you have shown how women are selfish and self centered. You only care about what makes you happy, where as marriage is about the mutual happiness of both the man and woman, in fact Adam was created first and Eve was created afterwards to be his companion not to be his God which he worships.

Happiness is only obtained by worshipping Allah not by placing women on pedestals and worshipping them, that is slavery of the man to the woman.

Majority of men end up slaving away, destroying their own health and well being and even neglecting their ownselves, just to please woman and in return most of the women will initiate a divorce and take his wealth and kids away from him without caring about the consequences of her actions upon her husband and her kids.

This is why men should not marry a narcissistic selfish self centered materialistic woman because she will destroy his life and the life of his children.

A man should hide his wealth because majority of women are gold diggers and parasitic in nature and treat the man as her personal cash machine.

To prove my point, just look at how women reject most if not all of the men on this site, if women are cold and heartless and don't care about the happiness of these men, then why should men make you happy? This idea of self entitlement is a disease which affects lots of women and it comes from an over inflated ego.


Nov 28, 2020 04:24

Thank you brother to respond my comments, especially about happy wife happy life

@singleguy, you are right about mutual happiness both husband and wife, there is a time for husband to give and there is a time for husband to take. But I think what we need to understand that husband and wife usually like different thing and it is normal.

Husband usually will be happy when his bed things are taken care, when it is fulfilled, usually his mood will be good and his day is a happy day. And wife usually likes the experience, the process, maybe before the bed things you come home with nice gift, romantic dinner, you listen her story and you tell her sweet words.

I don't think this will make husband as wife slave, or a wife as husband slave.

Husband and wife need to respect each other if they want a happy marriage.

Why happy wife is important to make your happy life?
Because your life will start in problem when your wife not happy, it will bring stress to you soon or later and maybe disturb your job and whole life at the end.

You are right we should be happy by worshipping Allah, and we just a normal human who feels happy and sad

The difference I think, when you are near to Allah, when you are sad you ask Allah helps instead of going to bad things like drunk maybe.
And when you are happy, you know that is not because you are a superman who can make it, but this is a bless of Allah.

Another why happy wife is important, because she is the nearest person to your kids. Husband has responsibility too to take care kids, but because usually he works outside home, so kids time a lot with wife.

If wife is happy this good mood will be in your kids too. And if your wife is sad or easy to be angry or stress this will bring bad effect to kids growing and characters.

I understand here many women you will meet, but you have Allah to ask for guidance to help you meet the best for you.

Before marriage use your eyes carefully, mean you need to look and make right choice for your lifetime partner.
And after marriage, look your partner with unclear eyes, mean if you see her mistake forgive her and f you see her bad be patient.

Wish this will help us to have a lifetime happy marriage, aamiin.

Maybe it is good to ask again our heart, what is our reason and purpose to marry?

Thank you

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Deleted User

Nov 29, 2020 00:09

I a widow , been married for 31 years till Allah took him back. So , my 2 cents is in marriage tolerance n acceptance are important. Going through some comments here my advice is men plse don't treat women like doormat and women don't look men as cash cow. Why am I here? Because i don want to grow old alone.


Nov 29, 2020 05:23

Thank you sister, it is a good advice about tolerance and acceptance in marriage.

@happymama, I am sorry about your husband, wish him a heaven, also patience for you and kids. I wish you get a good husband soon too as you wish aamiin.

With 31 years of marriage I think many things happen, please advice me from your experience so that I can be a good wife and have a happy marriage later, aamiin.

@brothers, rasululloh pbuh only have 1 wife who is not a widow. Maybe anyone of you especially who live near @happymama can visit and marry her.

Thank you


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