Helahel

Reminder of etiquette in regards to conversation

Reminder of etiquette in regards to conversation

IrishSis_Muslimah Created Jun 30, 2020 19:43
63 Comments

A little reminder for myself first and you all.

Etiquette of speaking/conversing with others:

- Always respond to the Salaam (it's fardh!)
- Don't ignore or disregard messages even when you're not interested (that's simply rudeπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ)
- Do not share private information someone has shared with you (do I need to remind you of the punishment for backbiting? πŸ‘€)
- Do not speak foul/vile speech (you are an ambassador of Islam. Talk like one!)
- Be polite (this is the correct adhab of a MuslimπŸ§•πŸΎ)
- Hear people out.. they may not be as you are assuming they are (being judgemental isn't a good look ❌)

You can add more in the comments.

 

This topic has 72 comments

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zanat

Jun 30, 2020 21:52

Salam sister.. MashaaAllah nice post, just want to add that when you start talking with someone on the site make sure u get to know them first here before proceeding to other communication apps don't be rush to give out your number or ask for someone's number coz u may give out and then it end up not working out so you may feel wasted in the process and plus communication is important make sure u communicate with the person to know them better and please don't disappear those people who like disappearing in the midst of getting to know each other last but not the least pray and pray and pray so that Allah may show u the right one.. Don't give up keep trying. All the best everyone

IrishSis_Muslimah

Jul 1, 2020 02:54

@muslimman:

Our beloved Prophet Mohammad (S) said:
"Commonly in Islam there are six rights of a Muslim upon a Muslim: when he meets him he should give him salaam; when he invites him (to a meal) he should accept it; when he sneezes he should bless him; when he falls ill he should visit him; when he dies he should accompany his funeral, and he should prefer for him that which he prefers for himself."

In Surah Nisa:
β€œAnd when you are greeted with a greeting, greet with a better (greeting) than it or return it; surely Allah takes account of all things." (4:86)

IrishSis_Muslimah

Jul 1, 2020 02:55

@zanat: JazakhAllah khayr sister. Very valuable advice!

Juliatotallybored

Jul 1, 2020 02:58

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸΏπŸΏπŸΏπŸΏπŸΏπŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»

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Content

Jul 2, 2020 14:01

Ψ§Ω„Ψ³Ω„Ψ§Ω… ΨΉΩ„ΩŠΩƒΩ…

May I remind you muslimman, to please try to be more gentle and kinder in your approach.
Your profile name is Muslim, please display tolerance when one makes a mistake.

Your attitude throughout the comments you leave leads to believe that you also need as all of us to return to learning AND understanding the deen.

β€œIt is part of the Mercy of Allah that you do deal gently with them. Were you severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask for (Allah’s) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of the moment).” (The Quran 3: 159)
Prophet Muhammad said:

β€œIndeed, kindness and gentleness does not exist in anything, without beautifying it; and it is not withdrawn from anything, without ruining it.” (Narrated by Muslim)

β€œVerily, Allah is kind and gentle, loves the kind and gentle, and confers upon the kind and gentle that which he does not confer upon the harsh.” (Narrated by Muslim)

Ψ§Ω„Ω„Ω‡ Ψ§Ω„Ω…Ψ³ΨͺΨΉΨ§Ω†
Ψ’Ω…ΩŠΩ†

May Allah aid us all Ameen , guide us and forgive us Ameen.

Ψ§Ω„Ψ³Ω„Ψ§Ω… ΨΉΩ„ΩŠΩƒΩ…


Juliatotallybored

Jul 2, 2020 18:10

@content
@irishsis
@zanat

Do u not see the red flags? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Do u not see the SIGNS??
I would not waste my time with a MISOGYNIST

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Content

Jul 2, 2020 18:13

Lol, Jazaakallahu khayr Julia.

I always try a little but some cases are... unique to say the least.

I am 45 beautiful and healthy hence why I am fussy.
Losers there are plenty, Men with a big M...way less.
Have a blessed evening my ladies sisters

Assalum alaikum

Juliatotallybored

Jul 2, 2020 19:33

@content πŸ’ͺ🏻
May Allah bless you with the one you deserve πŸ™πŸ»

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Content

Jul 2, 2020 19:45

Ameen, likewise Ameen

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 19:47

"right" or "fard" or "obligitory" are all the same thing...its something that is expected you to employ. We should all be aware when not to be fastidious to the point of forgetting about being Godly.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 19:48

Employ understanding, compassion and mercy and humility.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 20:13

I was just trying to clear up the mis understanding. Thats all.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 21:05

No ones stopping you from doing that.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 21:12

You know that if you post on a general forum you should be expecting comments..thats what a general forum is about. At least you get a slight insight into the character of others, so then you know who you dont wish to msg privately..so you get your benefit out of it brother..Alhammdullia!

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 21:20

Everyone on the earth is a hypocrite in one way or another..humans cannot avoid it when you think about it closely. Blame and shame attitude gets humans no where with Allah or each other. Being good at assessing a situation and being able to assess others is a great ability..to use that ability to create a sense of peace and syncronicity with each other is the real gift.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 21:26

These issues have nothing to do with gender at all. Its just plain misunderstandings..and small ones at that.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 21:30

Oh my goodness now i sound like Dr.Phil! 🀦 πŸ€ͺπŸ˜„ As salaam alikum everyone.

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zanat

Jul 2, 2020 21:47

@sister julia that's why i am silent just my fellow beautiful girls don't mind this haters lets concentrate on more important things..some people talk like that for attention so don't give those kinds of people attention just ignore them and they will argue alone...all the best sisters

Juliatotallybored

Jul 2, 2020 22:44

@muslimman

The only hypocrite i smell here....IS YOU 🀣🀣
Don't worry about us....at least we WILL get married 🀣🀣

But you, misogynist??
Ain't no woman go'n take you! 🀣🀣
So keep hating, grandpa! 😌 πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Juliatotallybored

Jul 2, 2020 22:48

@zanat
Yup 😌
He's a misogynist. He better go google that word.
If he's wise...he'll start RESPECTING women.
If he continues being offensive......he might as well marry his hand..cuz that go'n be his only wife πŸ˜‚

Juliatotallybored

Jul 2, 2020 22:55

This is the type of men that helahel leave roaming around ...being disrespectful to women......but when it comes to my post (my post was the same as my profile picture)...then helahel removes it.

@helahel

Seems to me...that it's completely OKAY to disrespect women on helahel....but when a woman advises this type of men to start respecting women......THAT'S NOT OKAY

😏 it ain't my site...so..helahel can do what HE pleases 🚩🚩🚩🚩

Juliatotallybored

Jul 2, 2020 23:06

My post was: " muslim men on helahel"

All the men started attacking me that I'm not allowed to say that ALL men are bad. (When the word 'ALL'doesn't even appear in the title)

But when this 'muslimman' writes that ALL women are hypocrites.......then I see no brother attacking him 😏🚩🚩

Yep. This is the type of MEN we have on helahel.
When a MAN insults women: its OKAY
When a woman doesnt point fingers to EVERY man: they twist her words, assemble and start harassing her in large groups.

Is there 1 suitable man here on helahel that is marriage material?? Doesn't seem like it.
Maybe when they turn 60...maybe then they'll realize that they blew all of their chances by treating women like inferiors...second class citizens.

So..leave them to believe that they are superior to women.
They'll come to their senses soon.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 23:16

I dont agree with you sisters. I think it was just a mis understanding.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 23:20

Ive met lots of men on here that respect me, and are marriage material...beautiful men. So, im not sure why you are having trouble with them.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 23:23

And there was men supporting the ladies, you just overlooked it.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 23:24

Dont let your own personal agenda get in the way of facts.

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Beauty

Jul 2, 2020 23:43

Hopefully, people can be forgiving. Wearing a grudge like a crown is not very attractive.

Juliatotallybored

Jul 3, 2020 00:44

🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

Juliatotallybored

Jul 3, 2020 00:47

You go'n be on dating sites for a loooong time 🀣🀣🀣
I think you already have been 🀣🀣🀣🀣🍿🍿
..just 20 years more to go 😁

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Beauty

Jul 3, 2020 00:51

Share peace then brother..better than others do. Make it your fard. πŸ™‚ Awesome.

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Beauty

Jul 3, 2020 01:02

If you believe in Al-Husna, and apply the attributes of Allah in your life as best you can..Allah will make your path easier. To be generous giving compassion, mercy etc..

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Beauty

Jul 3, 2020 12:33

Marry a man then.

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Beauty

Jul 3, 2020 12:44

If your going to whinge about the same things repeatedly, i may as well get creative with different responces. πŸ™‚

Juliatotallybored

Jul 3, 2020 13:23

You worry about your own safety. The covid virus kills men too...😏

Juliatotallybored

Jul 3, 2020 14:08

Older men??

I guess he doesn't realize he's already a middle aged man 😏

Juliatotallybored

Jul 3, 2020 14:14

You got a lot coming..if you think that covid only kills older people 😏

Juliatotallybored

Jul 3, 2020 14:15

Btw...you're chasing women on dating sites, trying so hard to find a wife...seems to me like you're pretty bored too 😏

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Content

Jul 3, 2020 17:14

Assalum alaikum guidance comes only from Allah, and He ar-Raheem grants understanding of His deen and wisdom to whom he wishes.

I come to the conclusion that some men don't really want to get married otherwise why would they do the most stupid thing one cannot even think of to push women away. The only answer that comes to me is that they don't want to be married.

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Content

Jul 3, 2020 17:15

Stupid things with an "s" at the end.
Let us make duas it is Friday.

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Beauty

Jul 3, 2020 22:45

When someone pushes the opposite gender away from them, it can be a defencive mechanism because they have been hurt badly, yet will persist in making some kind of contact as a form of healing to restore them self. Some still seek the attention to either try and heal, or to try to inflict the same hurt back. The revoltion in any form is just believing in delutions or lies (the shaytain) that they are telling themselves about the opposite gender. What they are disliking is the masculine or feminine energy that is being displayed, as what ever it was has caused a disruption within themselves.

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Beauty

Jul 3, 2020 22:47

Both genders have both masculine and feminine energy within them.

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Beauty

Jul 3, 2020 22:59

So its not so much "stupidity"..yet just being more instinctual and less cognisant at that time if their lives.

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Content

Jul 4, 2020 00:18

Assalum alaikum beauty
Jazaakallahu khayr , food for thought.

Farid

Jul 4, 2020 14:03

Wishful thinking. Most women (and maybe some men) don't follow any of this. They're too busy riding their high horse. And then they wonder why they can't find a husband.

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Beauty

Jul 4, 2020 21:07

I find most people are polite..i meet people on the street and around, and they are lovely to chat with. You find so many different things about people when you start a conversation with strangers! Alhammdullia. πŸ™‚

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Deleted User

Jul 5, 2020 12:03

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam

Question: Is giving salam fard or sunna according to Qur’an and Hadith?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I hope you are in the best of health and spirits, insha’Allah.

Giving the greeting (salam) is a sunna. [Nahlawi, al-Durar al-Mubaha fi al-Hadhr wa’l Ibaha]

`Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn al-`As reported that a man asked the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), β€œWhich aspect of Islam is best?” He said, β€œFeeding people and greeting those you know and those you do not know.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

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Beauty

Jul 5, 2020 12:35

Alhammdullis exactly. πŸ™‚ So its fard to implement as many sunnah as you can throughout your lifetime. No one does it quite like The Prophet pbuh! Alhammdullia 😊

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Content

Jul 5, 2020 12:45

Assalum alaikum

It is not fard to implement the sunnah. It is highly recommended. I think it will be important to clarify the meaning of fard as this may be the cause for confusion.

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Deleted User

Jul 5, 2020 12:45

Beauty,

Its is not fard to implement or treat sunnah as fardh to create Fitna of your talk

Salam is siimply a Sunnah not fardh at all,

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Deleted User

Jul 5, 2020 12:47

Sunnah is Sunnah and Fardh is fardh ( only 5 Frard)

No need to create fitna by telling , so its fardh to implement sunnah
Only muslim scholar has right to make a statement , so please do not create fitna

Salam is not fardh, its just a sunnah to greet

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Deleted User

Jul 5, 2020 12:52

This fitna created by IRISISMUSLIM

Neither salam nor reply of Salam is Fardh ( Its just simply a Sunnah or manner of attitude )

Salam is not fardh
Reply of salam is not fardh as well, these are small sunnah

Why people are too much about Sunnah, where Quran has many more important things to follow learn and implement in life???
Please do not create Fitna, ask your nearby Muslim scholar if you are not sure, do not spread fitna

Fitna is a SIGN of end time






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Beauty

Jul 5, 2020 12:53

Im told fard means obligitory...which has a meaning of "highly recommended" in english translation. Is it really that bad if we make sure we greet and send peace to everyone we meet!?! Im not going to nit pick about it, and i know what im going to stick to....being friendly and saying Hi and peace to others...and im sure everyone else will too. 😊 Goodnight and rest well. As salaam alikum. 😁😊

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Deleted User

Jul 5, 2020 13:01

Point of talk is Salam and reply of salam is not Fardh
Please do not try to establish Fitna or confusion

These are fitna and many people create fitna

Near the establishment of the Hour there will be days during which (religious) knowledge will be taken away (vanish) and general ignorance will spread...(Bukhari)

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Content

Jul 5, 2020 13:04

I think we must not use the word fitna so freely.
It is important to refer matters to the true scholars, I don't believe anyone means to cause fitna. We must have a good opinion of our fellow Muslims.

There is a clear distinction about fard and highly recommended, by all means, treating others well is always welcome. Not applying a sunnah does not mean we are ill mannered. We are just careful not to make rulings: only Allah and His messenger are making the commandments.

We are all in need to seek knowledge. That is very apparent.

Irish sister, Jazaakallahu khayr for reminding us of having good etiquette.

I am drawing a line here as people must be willing to learn and I believe gentleman is the musliman, the tone remains the same.

Assalum alaikum

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Deleted User

Jul 5, 2020 13:06


For this kind of reason I rarely trust woman when she talk about Islamic teaching because mostly when women talk about Islamic teaching they will never give reference from Quran and when they talk from Hadith they create a new hadith and keep spreading Fitna, this is how Devil use women to corrupt us

In Christian teaching also "The devil’s first weapon is to put the temptation of women in the path of a man of God, and men in the path of a woman of God. The devil does this to weaken them."

With due respect to women, please do not talk anything without solid reference and do not create fitna

Salam is not fardh
Reply of salam also is not fardh

Juliatotallybored

Jul 5, 2020 13:10

No wonder some men are chasing women for YEARS on dating sites....and there are many YEARS more to come.

And....trust me, they still don't have a clue what they're doing wrong 😏 πŸ’‘

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Deleted User

Jul 5, 2020 13:18

This is not about attack , its about making correction of woman mistakes that Salam is not Fardh and to stop confusion and false teaching

There is no need to trust unknown people who keep support false teaching,

If all you people come in-front of me none of you will stand on even 10 minutes with logical debate with reference and explanation
Better you stop attack me
This world become more in hell due to fitna etc

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Deleted User

Jul 5, 2020 13:22

Quran 2:18

Deaf dumb and blind they will not return (to the path).

You people are alike this, will never come on right path of Islam beside creating Fitna and lies

I am leaving this website, all you people are here to establish lies only
that is why your hell you are creating for your destination , who will protect you if you are not ready to return to right path?



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Deleted User

Jul 5, 2020 13:23

@Admin
In the day of judgement I will catch you as well for your wrong judge to me

Juliatotallybored

Jul 5, 2020 13:25

🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

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Beauty

Jul 5, 2020 20:11

These people say we are "teaching"...we are not, just putting our thoughts together to get more understanding and more insights from each other. We arnt trying to make any rulings either..we are just chatting. We follow Qar 'an and the ways of the Prophet pbuh so, why worry if someone writes a slightly different way. I agree with you content sister..there is no need to get over emotional at what is being written in posts. People are supposed to express themselves differently, and we all trust Allah and try to follow His guidance.

MyCoverMyCompanion

Jul 6, 2020 00:42

Strange thread......May Allaah rectify the affairs of the muslims.

Jazaakumullaahu khayran for the original thread messages though, good reminders.

Light of Religion

Jul 6, 2020 08:12

IrishSis, thanks for the msg. We learn everyday, so am still learning and am not a scholar, but i totally agree that the return of the greetings Salam Alaikun(Peace be upon you) is very important to reply, i don't even know if it is fard or sunnah, but for someone to wish you peace, you should also return the greetings and wait for the next msg. You can now decide if you want to know the person or not. But some people are blind with these worldly things, because you don't have a picture, they would just conclude this person is not cute, handsome or he/she is poor and that's why he/she is not putting up his/her pics. His not a crime to get to know someone even though you are not interested in having the person as a wife/husband. At the end of the conversation, you can just tell the person in other not to hurt his/her feelings that bro/sis, I really appreciate your time. We are not compatible or something but we can friend. But a lot of people here are after material things. They love that brother that snap with a car, that handsome bro that leaves abroad and so on. To me, marriage in Islam is partnership, we are created for each other to give a helping hand and we are all equal in front of Allah. If you are lucky to meet a rich, handsome, pretty, billionaire sister or brother, lucky you. A lot of rich couple are not even happy in their marriage. Most important thing is
to pray for the best spouse, that will treat you like a king or queen, make you happy and the one that love Allah and follow his rules, and prays too very important. I pray Allah give each and everyone one of us what we wish for at the right time.

Julietamreallybord or so,
Sis, learn to forgive cos not all man are bad. All of us cannot be bad, have seen your post in many thread stating same thing about man attacking you and Helahel deleting your post or something. Don't make us remember this on each thread, just give your opinion and move on. I plead on behalf of who ever attack you to please forgive and forget.
Move on.
Ma Salam

Abrar Qureshi

Jul 6, 2020 09:03

Well said brother. The western mindset was after Islam since the crusades. They always counter it and cripple it with their modern logic. Unfortunately many a modern Muslim have deviated, although we should strike a balance. But our religions rulings are the best, it can't be bettered. And some will justify it no matter what. I just wish Allah eases everyone's troubles because it's fear and sadness that causes changes in people, I pray Allah gives all of us the strength.
"Then have they not traveled in the earth so that they have hearts to consider with or ears to hear with? Surely then it is not the beholdings (i.e. the eyes) that (grow) blind, but (it is) the hearts within the breasts that (grow) blind". 22:46

Abrar Qureshi

Jul 6, 2020 09:04

Assalam

Golden State CA

Jul 6, 2020 10:06

Say good things about one another because we are surrounded by the demonic entities, which want to cause division and hatred among people. Dont take anything personal because end of the day we will get only what was decreed in our destiny. Instead of belittling and laughing at one another we should do a genuine dua for one another. When a dua is forwarded from the heart the Angel's surrounding us do the same dua for us. Likewise, even if you curse an inanimate object, if it was unjustified, that curse will be returned to the sender. Be well.

Juliatotallybored

Jul 6, 2020 10:42

@lihhtofreligion

Ya'll men need to stop believing that i said that all men are bad. If I thought that all men were bad...what the hell would I be doing here?? Use ur brain.

No need to teach me about forgiving; you're acting like YOU KNOW THAT I'M NOT A FORGIVING PERSON.

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Content

Jul 6, 2020 11:19

Assalum alaikum

I feel quite embarrassed to have contributed to this thread.
And also very sad to see how we- as Muslims- are reacting rather than being accepting ( except for Golden State). May Allah guide us and forgive us. Ameen.
Islam is not about opinions, it is based on Qur'an and Sunnah.
One thing for sure we cannot disagree is that we have a duty to be gentle and tolerant. I am sure we all strive to be, but that does not come across in many comments.

My aim is not to point the finger at anyone but myself and to invite you to take a step back: is this pleasing to Allah?

I ask Allah the Forgiver to forgive me then you all. Ameen.

Assalum alaikum

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Beauty

Jul 6, 2020 11:31

Allahs attributes. Alhammdullia. 😊

Juliatotallybored

Jul 6, 2020 11:35

@content
Point fingers?
I think u just did

Golden State CA

Jul 8, 2020 14:18

Walakum Salam Content.

Julia, your opinion matters and you have the right to be heard. You carry with you a lot of passion and enthusiasm. It seems you keep crashing into the rude, misogynist, bad mannered men who are more likely raised on culture than religion. Most of those guys are here to waste time and they thrive on argumentation. People like that are known as psychic vampires. They wish to enrage people and they derive pleasure from annoying people. This is stil a good platform for people to meet. I was able to read and appreciate your thoughts and that of Contents, even though we are thousands of miles apart. Unfortunately, because it's free, it attracts all kinds of scammers and spammers. May The Eternal bestow on you and all of us peace and tranquility. Henceforth, may we come into contact with a circle of people who have fear of the Most Merciful and who treat people with respect and kindness.

Juliatotallybored

Jul 8, 2020 16:07

@goldenstate true. Ameen. Same for u

 

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