*_BOY-GIRL RELATIONSHIP, THE HIDDEN HARD TRUTH_*
My dear brothers and sisters, Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
This reminder is so dear to my heart, as such for Allah’s sake pay heed and make steps towards correction if you are guilty and/or advice someone that may be guilty. Again, this reminder is as a result of numerous complaints and questions I have been receiving regarding “
It is also as a results of post I have been seeing on social media regarding how rampant the youth especially die without marriage every single day. It is going to be a bit long, due mainly to the situation we have found ourselves in and the nature of society we are living. So please, make time and read!!!
*DATING IN ISLAM*
This is a very delicate topic almost every muslim youth and some aged fall short. “Dating” as seen in the West today is entirely haram and a no go area to every well-meaning Muslim, because dating as defined by western culture is NOT devoid of s*x, alcoholism and other vices that are frowned against in Islam.
However, can a male and female muslim initiate talks before marriage? My answer is YES! You need to know each other well enough. Get to know each other’s attitude and then initiate marital process. If this is called dating, then I don’t see anything wrong with that.
Be mindful of Allah in all your affairs and at the time you talk to each other. Know that you both are under ALLAH’S watch and beware that there shall be a day for reckoning. As soon as you are satisfied with each other’s behavior, then go ahead and get married. Involve family members in all you do. Introduce him or her to your family and leave all affairs to Allah.
*DO THE KNOCKING AND TRUST ALLAH*
Some young Muslim men and women feel shy or find it hard to tell family members this is the man/woman I would want to make a wife or husband. They however, don’t find it hard that Allah is aware of each chat they make, each text messages they exchange and each thought of love they entertain in their hearts. If you find it hard to go ahead and knock for marriage, then am afraid you don’t shy Allah subhanahu wa ta’aala. I trust you know what Allah is equally capable of doing, here on earth and hereafter. The fact is that, you don’t need to gather a lot of MATERIALS to be able to get married. If you really want to be under Allah’s immense Rahmah and favour, then start the process of marriage. I am a living testimony to that and I believe a lot of other people can attest to that fact. So just don’t get influenced by shaitan. My sister encourage the young man to come and knock if indeed he’s dating for the sake of Allah. And brother go ahead and knock if only you don’t want to be under the anger of Allah.
*I AM NOT IN A RUSH!!!*
A very silly excuse mostly given by sisters is that marriage is not about rush.
*‘WHEN YOU RUSH, YOU WILL CRUSH’….SUBHANALLAH!!*
If indeed you know the implications of what you are saying in the sight of Allah, you would have started crying and seek for forgiveness.
The messenger of ALLAH sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam said, a woman that trained two daughters and they get married, ALLAH assures her with Jannah. This hadith Simple means that, you can either increase the chances of your mother being assured of Jannah, than better have a change of mind. Those of you sisters who keep writing on social media that you love your mother, then show her more love by getting married. Give her the pride she so deserve, either she is dead or alive. How many of sisters reading this have their mothers in the grave, and you still think you are not In a rush?
*THINK MY SISTER!!*
When you say you are not in a rush, what that means is that, you think the messenger of ALLAH was wrong when he said we should hurriedly marry the bachelors among us for that will prevent vices in the society and brings Allah’s mercy.
Subhanllah! I have been a witness to too many cases of sisters who claimed they were not in a rush for marriage. Today, Allah has also halted them and no man is in the rush to marry them. The beauty is gradually fading away. Majority of them have their first degrees, some with masters and even PhD and some are even workers but NO ONE is just coming for their hands in marriage. A high percentage of them simple thought they were not in any rush for marriage and today, they are paying for their action. One of them actually encouraged me to write this piece. If you don’t rush to complete half of your deen, then Allah will also not be in any rush to bless all the certificates you are piling up.
My dear sister, don’t get deceived by Shaitan, follow the instruction of the messenger of Allah before you begin to regret it.
*I NEED TO FURNISH MY APARTMENT*
Another unwise and quite disgusting excuse from Muslim brothers is that, ‘I am yet to furnish my apartment or get a permanent paying job before I can settle down’. Subhanallah! Do you realise the harm you are causing yourself?
How many times do you have the silly thought of having the opposite s*x by your side and the feeling for fantasizing. It is by all standard advisable for one to have a decent place as shelter, but you needn’t acquire everything to get married. Getting married does not in any way means one should start procreation outright, NO. So start the process, talk to the sister and go ahead to knock. Introduce yourself to her parents or those in charge of her affairs and then put your trust in ALLAH.
*THIS PART KEPT ME THINKING!!!*
I read an hadith of rasullullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam wherein he said “ *IT IS FORBIDDEN FOR A WOMAN TO MENSTRUATE MORE THAN SIX TIMES IN HER FATHER’S HOUSE”.*
This means that a woman’s seventh menstrual cycle should be in her husband’s house. How many sisters are gradually inching to menopause but still think marriage isn’t a matter of rush. This is seriously frightening brothers and sisters. Brothers, please lets help our sisters to come out of this situation. Lets make our minds up to marry our sisters. Lets begin to revive the Sunnah of the messenger of Allah. Marriage is Sunnah ……
*FOOD FOR THOUGHTS*
Oh! Dear Muslim brother, the sister(s) you have been flirting around with, the sister (s) you have been sleeping with, the sister(s) you have been promising marriage just for you to see her nakedness, are you ready to answer on the day of Qiyamah? The day you shall stand alone and all your deeds shall be shown to you live and clear. The day no amount of regrets or plea shall favour you? Hmm!!
*THINK DEEP MY BROTHER.*
Allah said “indeed good deeds expiate bad pass sins”. Make things right my brother. Cleanse the sins of zina and flirting by taking the steps to getting married.
My dear sister! How long again do you want to wait after your first degree? How long do you want to menstruate in your parents’ house? How long do you actually think you are going to spend on earth? How many times have you opened your legs to men ever since you attain puberty? What now is your excuse for not wanting to get married?
*THINK DEEP MY SISTER*
If the brother you are dating Is still not making any efforts, draw his attention. If he’s still adamant, advice yourself.
Take a sober reflection about death. Die as an unmarried man or woman and you would be forgotten in no time. Why don’t you give yourself the honour before death makes people forget about you.
If the sister is mindful of Allah and you know it, go ahead and marry her and put your trust in Allah
If the brother reminds you of Allah and about your deen, go ahead and marry him and put your trust in Allah.
Marriage is a must now…….death is not sparing the young ones either!!!!