Created differently, we differ, what will you do?

Created differently, we differ, what will you do?

OpenHeart Created May 23, 2020 03:13

As-salaamu Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuh.

I'm a Muslim convert/revert and it saddens me so much to read some of the comments made here without any regard that it is the Holy month of Ramadan where we as Muslims are supposed to be purifying our souls, hearts, mind, and body.

Ramadan is a true trial of one’s character, testing each individual on any bad habits that we may have and allowing us to purify ourselves of these behaviors. Ramadan serves as a tool for us Muslims to practice for increasing patience and self-control. It helps us to purify ourselves and build upon our character, as well as an increase in our spirituality. Furthermore, it’s an opportunity to serve to build relationships among the people of society, bringing together the rich and poor by personally delivering charity to those in need. As each individual detaches from worldly desires, we allow ourselves to become closer to Our Creator Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

I remember there was someone (since removed) who used to differ from other members to a point where the individual made comments that were untrue about our Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and his wives Radi Allahu 'anha, yet not a peep from anyone, not the "imams", nor the so-called "experts", not even from the person who started the thread who claim to be so knowledgeable about Islam yet sensitive when questioned. The day the person wrote disparaging words about our Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and his wives Radi Allahu 'anha, the thread writer did not make any comment to protest or share his/her knowledge and mind you until today that individual is still here starting topics in Forum and quick to write a sentence or two to prove someone wrong and throwing shades at women.

And then there was/is a member who has several aliases. This individual also disagreed/ disagrees with others and on many occasions used disrespectful words yet claimed to be a "Muslim" with extensive Islamic knowledge. This individual refrains from or rarely write feedbacks to threads or comments made by others that have positive tones yet quick to make one or more when the message is twisted and unprincipled or is not aligned to his/her mindset irrespective of the Quran. When this individual was or is cornered and can't make anyone agree on his/her idea, he/she then makes a final derogatory comment before deleting his/her account, and a couple of times this individual announced that he/she was leaving the site hoping to garner support instead of just be gone. In a matter of days/weeks, there's a "new" member with a different name that shows up on the Forum page with comparable behavior to the previous.

Here we are “Muslims” bashing one another, not having a break to divide us more, not even respecting the fact that it's the Holy month of Ramadan. What an example!!! Such a disappointing example we're sharing to the world, to our brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, reverts, and people who may be thinking of becoming a Muslim. Have you chosen to haughtily claim a "Muslim" by hollow words only and not in deeds? Have we forgotten that Allah Subhana Wata’ala Sees It All?

We have all the right to believe what we’re convinced by, it does not make the other person an evil person simply because he’s/she’s convinced otherwise. But that does not give us a green light to vilify others. We can discuss and raise the subject matter in a very respectful manner in a very polite way. It’s likely going to be more effective and convincing when it's presented with love, compassion, dignity, and goodness rather than putting down one another or uttering harsh words, labeling, or name-calling. What is more important to you? Is it to prove and show off to everyone that your voice is the loudest and you're the only one who is correct because you said so and they are wrong and in the process of doing so you don’t mind sinning? Have you forgotten that Allah Subhana Wata’ala has The Final Word?

Our Ummah is sadly divided, I wish we aim to be part of the solution to unite by being open to other people’s thoughts and ideas and sincerely put effort to uplift others, teach and show what Islam is all about from the main source, The Holy Quran, not from traditions and personal egoistic beliefs.

I urge each and everyone to please differ with respect. Disagreements will happen even with the best amongst people and with our families. Be polite and respectful, please.

Ask yourselves: What're your intentions? Is it to help others or is it to discredit people? Is it to make the truth be clear for the sake of Allah Subhana Wata’ala or because it feeds your ego and makes you feel high and mighty for a moment even though you're aware that your actions are wrong? We don’t need to embarrass a person, belittle them or do name-calling. The basic principle when there’s a disagreement is to give the person the chance to clarify themselves, give people the benefit of the doubt regardless of gender, race, the color of their skin, or status in life. Be open to learning new good things and aspire to do everything for the sake of Allah Subhana Wata’ala in thoughts, words, and actions.

May we strive to change our bad habits for good from this day forward not only during Ramadan but on a daily basis throughout our lives and be a positive example to those around us or communicate with be it in person or online. May Allah Subhana Wata’ala keep us on the straight path, grant us and the Ummah the best in Ad-Dunya and in Al-Akhira, forgive all our sins and accept our Duas this Holy month of Ramadan and beyond. May we make greater efforts to live life with integrity, respect, always have kindness and compassion in words and actions. May Allah Subhana Wata’ala forgives us, protect us against the oppressors, may we never be the oppressor, and may The Almighty protect us from those who do not believe. Ameen.

Thank you for reading. Salaam.


This topic has 18 comments

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May 23, 2020 04:13

Ameen. Great reminder. JazakhAllah khayr!


May 23, 2020 04:57


Thank you sister. Wa ʾantum fa-jazakumu-llahu khayran. Take care.

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May 23, 2020 12:37

It's really bad when people act "selfish" in public. I believe these acts are the major cause to throw shade at the other person.
Whenever we try to address a situation let's do it sincerely by assuming to be the concern parties before we kick off.
It could solve problems and create unity rather than cause problems and segregation.
Thanks this a good wake up call.


May 23, 2020 22:48

Waalekum salaam @openheart good reminder to your fellow Muslims, Mash Allah for your courage and Allah has given you wisdom to explain it in a proper way. We all know that we are not perfect human beings so we have admit we are hear to learn from each other with our little knowledge that Allah has given us. So we have to love each other fo the sake of Allah and respect one another May Allah guide us. Shukran @openheart. Eid Mubarak to all my Muslim brothers and sisters


May 24, 2020 07:32

@ smartzy1 and @ wazbur.

Alaikum Salaam Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuh.

Jazak Allahu Khair. My brothers, thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. Masha’Allah, this is a blessing during Eid al-Fitr knowing that from simple words, it has reached someone’s heart and understood what I was trying to convey, Alhamdulillah. May Allah keep us in the straight path, bless us with compassionate heart, and safeguard our tongues from lying, backbiting and hurting others and become mediators to unite our Ummah. Ameen.

Eid Mubarak to you and your families and to all our brothers and sisters.


Feb 17, 2021 11:31

The days are going by fast and Ramadan is fast approaching, Masha'Allah. Has anyone started planning what to do during The Holy Month aside from fasting? Will you seize the opportunity to change for the better during Ramadan?

I'm sad and troubled that things have gotten worse since I wrote this thread less than a year ago. I read some of the comments and Ya Allah! May Allah forgive and guide us because the words used are vulgar, smutty, and filthy.

I wish to remind others that there are people on this site who pretend to be "Muslims" with the intention to pit us against one other. They're provoking and cheer when they see that we're clashing. Be mindful.

It's difficult to understand why anyone would not choose to be an example of kindness, integrity, compassion, and understanding. There's a quote that says: "No matter how educated, talented, rich or fabulous you think you are, how you treat people ultimately tells it all."

The most successful are those who call others towards goodness in a beautiful way. Refrain from belittling others. Communicate or disagree with respect. Don't think that you're more pious and superior than everybody else and think that is a license for you to abuse and call people derogatory names. Humble yourself, be kind to others.

I understand it is not always easy to be gentle and kind but learn to bite your tongue if need be instead of uttering demeaning words that will be added to your sins. If you disagree with other people's opinions, say your piece with respect, walk away, and pray for them. Do not wait to find out if your point of view was welcomed or dismissed, you already have done your part, Allah will take care of the rest.

Who you are is far more important than what you have. Who you are is measured by how you make others feel. Kindness spreads like a virus, when you do good to another, that person does better to those they come into contact with. Another quote says: "The sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit." No one has ever made themselves great by showing how small another is. Treat everyone with the same level of kindness that you would like for yourself.


Feb 17, 2021 21:33

^I think its the lockdown that is making people type crazy comments on the forum. Some people are bored.
But I agree with you, everyone should be treated kindly no matter what their beliefs are.


Feb 18, 2021 11:57

Thank you sister Soniya and you may be right, it could be the lockdown, boredom, or something else. But why do we look for excuses for our actions and when will we stop making excuses? Wouldn’t it be better to face up to the reality and deal with it in a mature way?

If boredom is the excuse, be reminded that life is short. The time wasted by feeling and complaining of being bored can easily be used by perhaps reading and understanding the Qur'an. I believe the provisions given to us by Allah are a means for us to reach our destination. We can do better, Insha'Allah.


Feb 18, 2021 17:39

I agree with you. We should not try to make excuses for our bad behaviour. Also, some people are not taking this site seriously and could only be just joking....But that’s still wrong ...if they are using profanity.


Feb 20, 2021 06:56

I couldn't agree with you more sister. When vulgar words are used it means you desire harm to come to that person. Always remember that words are not just words. It has power especially when accompanied by a sudden burst of emotion. So let us be careful and choose our words wisely. Let us be respectful in every manner, please.


Feb 27, 2021 15:12

Fourteen hundred years ago long before feminism Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) first wife Khadija bint Khuwaylid (RA) was a successful merchant whose caravan equal the caravans of all the traders put together. SHE was the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) of her own successful company of import-export. SHE hired Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) to work for her. She was so taken with his honesty that eventually SHE proposed marriage to him.

Early records show that other women demanded to be included in the Islamic revolution taking place around Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). Their voices were heard and were respected.

For the past few decades, the people who have been given the important task of reading and interpreting the Quran in a variety of Muslim communities, some clerics have been inserting a certain meaning into a verse concerning women. Here's an example:

"O Prophet! Tell thy wives and thy daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognized and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful." Qur'an - 33:59

SOME clerics have added few words to it so that in certain translation in the Qur'an that verse reads: Oh Prophet, tell your wives, your daughters and the women of the believers to draw upon themselves their garments (A garment is a veil that covers the entire head, the face, the neck, the breast all the way down to the ankles and all the way to the wrists. Everything on a woman's body is not exposed except for one eye because she must see where she is headed and the hands must be covered in gloves.) so that she not be known and molested. Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

Such a significant difference and intentionally misleading. From the time of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) with his first wife Khadija bint Khuwaylid (RA) to the present days look at where we are. Instead of progressing by following the Commands/Words of Our Creator Subhanahu wa-ta’ala, the teachings, and examples left to us by Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), we are being pulled to go backward by many who have loud voices claiming to be righteous and know it all who encourages others to search on Google or YouTube for answers concerning Islam rather than go to the main source that provides all the answers in any given day, time or era - The Qur'an. I wonder when was the last time they opened the Qur'an at home and actually read and understand it. Or has the book become an ornament in their sitting rooms to show others they are pious, religious, or righteous? And if their ideology is not being followed, these people find many ways to insert and enforce their ideologies be it by force, intimidation, or disrespecting others. It doesn't seem to bother them if the Ummah becomes divided so long as what they say is being fulfilled. Is the progress?

May we put all efforts and continue to strengthen our relationship with Allah rather than just follow those who have blaring voices. May Allah forgive and guide us through. Ameen.


Feb 27, 2021 15:14

Correction*** Is THIS progress?


Feb 27, 2021 19:40

^yes, that’s my whole point. I mentioned that in another forum that some hadiths or interpretations are edited by men in religious authority, usually (clerics), for their own sexist agenda. Sadly, many women in some Muslim countries cannot afford higher education. They usually get married at a young age or get caught up in a literal war (think Syria etc). So, they think that these so-called clerics know everything and they follow them. Not their fault really.


Feb 27, 2021 20:48

I dont want to sound like a crazy feminist but i do wonder sometimes if Allah did put so many restrictions on us women then why do the same scholars say in islam women have rights and all that,i think some things are cultural some countries make women feel so much inferior to men and they have so many crazy restrictions claiming its not halal blablabla i mean all this just dont make sense why not treat women like humans who can make their own decisions without a man being involved all the time,i agree some decisions its a must for a man's decision but others are so absurd some women live lives that are so pityful and yet they are okay because they luck education or exposure anyway i stand to be corrected if am wrong but i just hop people should start to treat women with dignity and like humans not like small kids


Feb 27, 2021 21:05

^That is exactly what I was saying in Hamza's discussion topic.
This guy was saying that makeup is haraam, plucking eyebrows is haraam, fillers are haraam etc. Where does that say in the Quran specifically? He also said that non-hijabi women will be hanged by their hair on the Judgement day. Even though, there is no mention of head covering in the Quran itself.
I'm not a crazy feminist but it seems like some guys like to call any opinionated woman a feminist.


Feb 28, 2021 03:26

That's their problem then, only Allah can judge...humans are too judgmental


Feb 28, 2021 03:26

That's their problem then, only Allah can judge...humans are too judgmental


Feb 28, 2021 08:36

SUNNAH is always authentic while Hadith can be authentic as well as spurious.

SUNNAH means a path that has been trodden and treats the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as a messenger of the Almighty.

SUNNAH is related to certain aspects of life while Hadith is not confined to certain aspects of life.

HADITH has been written and interpreted by scholars of Islam. Thus, these are dependent upon their ways of thinking, their character, and their memory and intellect.

FEMINISM -Independent woman, not a man-hating group of women, or women who feel as though they deserve more than their male counterparts. Women's empowerment.

EMANCIPATION - The act or process by which a person is liberated from the authority and control of another person.

FUNDAMENTALIST - A movement or attitude stressing strict and literal adherence to a set of basic principles.

MISOGYNIST - A person who hates or discriminates against women believes that men are much better than women.


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