How to find a very good spouse? And not to get scammed

How to find a very good spouse? And not to get scammed

Jowj Created Nov 28, 2019 09:33

Asalaamu alikum, dear brothers and sister,

Since the dawn of creation of man and women, there always been an attraction to each other. One of the ingredients of that attraction was not knowing too much or too little about that person. Most people will find priorities character more than physical appearance and vice versa.

Here we want to discuss what is a female looking for and what is a man looking for, for example, is it first love than compatibility or is it compatibility than love.


This topic has 18 comments


Nov 29, 2019 14:47

It is dedicated to those who are suffering from cancer.

My doctor was a wanderer who could never understand the cancer conquerer.
My news from the doctor hit me like a boxer.
I lived my life without any worry until the news hit me like I was sorry.
The immune could not consume cancer while there was no answer.
My days became shorter, as I became a supporter.
My life departure to just become a martyr.
As we travel life struggle, is this a test for the best, what happens to the worst.
Hope is not just for the pop.
The remembrance of repentance will surely pass their sentence.
(Jowj 29-11-2019)


Dec 1, 2019 12:07

Aleykum assalam wa rahmatu Allah

For women it is money then money.
For men it is deen then beauty.


Dec 1, 2019 15:44

Might be true

Pure Heart

Dec 2, 2019 23:50

Salam Jowj

As a woman, I seek love first because it is through love that I discover passion and compassion, respect and trust, care and support, patience and tolerance.
Financial stability is a necessity because the ability of the couple to sustain the relationship and agreed lifestyle would determine the reality and success of the partnership. Open communication and honesty must be practiced continuously to overcome any unresolved issues.
Hope this clarifies the wants of a woman like me. What other women from their men may not be similar.


Dec 3, 2019 00:31

Wa Alikum Salaam
Dear Pure Heart and viewers,

I wrote this some time ago

Eleven Grand Rules of Existence
1. Remember your maker.
2. Honour your parents.
3. Keep ties with your kinship.
4. Make harmony with your past, so it does not influence the present.
5. What others believe about you is none of your concern.
6. Time cures almost everything, give it time.
7. Don’t associate your life to others and don’t judge them. You have no conception what their journey is entirely about.
8. It’s alright not to know all the answers. They will appear to you when you least expect it.
9. Thou are in charge of your happiness.
10. You don’t own all the struggle in the world.
11. If you cannot tolerate the past or future because they do not exist. What you are grieving are your memory and your imagination.
(Jowj 21-11-2019)

What does everyone think?

Pure Heart

Dec 3, 2019 01:22

Salam Jowj,

When you ask what a woman wants from a man? I answered from my point of view. Your belief in what you wrote represents who you are and what you believe in. The rules are noble and what is hope for the betterment of mankind. There is no right wrong because we do things based on what hope is right in every situation. The actual practice is what differentiates one individual to another.
The growing hatred towards Moslems leaves a lot of anxiety, concerns and apprehensions amongst us. I believe many are practising some of your rules as they are embedded from birth or learned. If all Moslems can practice everything that is written in here, InsyaAllah the Moslem world would be together and united.
The way I see it, a majority fights for survival thus sacrificing values that may contradict their beliefs. Do we honour these changes or do we criticise them? I am in no position to judge anyone but I would share my thoughts the way I see them.
Thank you and Salam
May Allah swt guide us, protect us and forgive us

Pure Heart

Dec 3, 2019 01:26

Salam again,
I am glad this is not an English class forum or I would be penalised for my grammar😊😊
Just to add a bit of humour lol


Dec 3, 2019 11:31

Wa Alikum Salaam,

Dear Pure Heart,

Thank you for your kind response.

I nearly got scammed twice from a matrimonial website.

The first scam, a foreign student studying in a foreign country, wanted to borrow few thousand pounds from me, for two days. Sent me a copy of the letter from the university offering a student grant is available only if she pays off her previous balance. I examed the letter and found it to be photo edited and changed. Therefore, it was a fake. I did not inform her of my findings. I requested that she send me a copy of her photo ID, as soon as I said that she became very defensive by saying why do I need to see her photo ID, and do I not trust her. I responded if I can trust her with my money, why could she not trust me showing me her photo ID. That was the last time I heard from her.

The next scam was a man pretended to be a female who is going through financial hardship. When I discovered this scam, I requested a live video from that person and got defensive. Then I informed the scammer to it will not work out.

There are genuine brides and grooms out there, and it is part of life struggle to have experienced unwanted problems.

No Photo


Dec 3, 2019 12:00

السلام عليكم
Dear brother..
If I may say and not be too direct
You need to seek outside help, ask friends, ask family and please don't hesitate to say no after examining the bride if not suitable

Brother please I care about you and I'm giving you real advice, and i deems it necessary as you need a bride and your an intelligent man

No Photo


Dec 3, 2019 12:01

Or don't sorry if I gave wrong advice

Pure Heart

Dec 3, 2019 12:48

Salam Jowj and everyone else,

The saddest part about joining any dating or marriage websites is the presence of fake people who will stop at nothing to get money from you.
Victims like us become cynical and sceptical of who is behind the picture or typing.
Perhaps to protect the innocent, if Helalel can add a calling feature that has video cam facility, the genuine ones can immediately take action by blocking the scrupulous culprits, and let Helalel admins take these cases seriously if any to protect the websites reputation.
A few caring people have even shared some tips kn how to recognize scammers and liars and that shows how serious we are against them.
Like any other hopeful person in here, the search for The One will continue through filters, questions and answers. Forums like these enable some gathering of helpful tips as well as sharing of good and bad experiences from our brothers and sisters and should continue, InsyaAllah..,,


Dec 3, 2019 12:50

Wa Alikum Salaam

Dear Samer,

Jizak Allah Khairaan, for your kind response, a doctor attracts patients, and I track people who are scammers, as I am a Forensic Psychologist AlHamdu Lillah. I am a realistic person, however, always try to look at the good side inn sha Allah.


Dec 3, 2019 12:59

wa Alikum salaam rahmatullah wa barakatu

Dear SamirDZ,

Jizak Allah Khairaan for your views and your response.


Dec 6, 2019 22:14

any more views


Dec 8, 2019 00:20

I find that when I give salaam by message, which is wajib to reply, some people might not understand, it is a sin not to reply lol


Dec 8, 2019 11:58

Science led me to Islam. I was studying science, and I was reading from the Quran surah 21 Al-Anbya verse 33: "(God is) the One Who created the night, the day, the sun and the moon. Each one travelling in an orbit with its own motion."


Dec 8, 2019 18:07

Science was my foundation which led me to my salvation.
Islam guided me like a lighthouse through the mist of mystery.
Understanding the science of Islam was another history.
Patience with wisdom doomed me away from the shaytans fishery.
The holy words from the holy Quran said 'The One Who created the night, the day, the sun and the moon. Each one is travelling in an orbit within its own axes.' One mystery of blindness unveiled to another history.
Now, who is the fool, which does not make him cool not to follow Islam?
(M Saeed 08/12/2019)


Dec 9, 2019 19:28

I read sister profile say the following 'I am looking for a practicing Muslim for marriage.' and yet she is not practising lol.


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