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Which one to choose?

Which one to choose?

Amir Created Oct 29, 2019 22:56
13 Comments

I'm having to choose between 2 girls in their 20's.

One is from my parents' country. Fair skin, red cheeks, straight silky hair, stay home type who'd be with me forever.

Other has a master's degree in engineering, tall, Arab-African mix, wheatish skin, thick curly hair, who could come to USA, pass engineering licensing exams and make good income.

Which to choose?

 

This topic has 14 comments

ENIGMA

Oct 29, 2019 23:38

The first one bruv.
What more can you ask for?
A homely girl is always the best choise.
The second one will F you up sooner or later lol Some sisters can be a little to arrogant when highly educated..
Just remember simplicity is beautiful..

Admir

Oct 30, 2019 03:28

PRAY TAHJJUD and ask Allah to grant you the one thats best for you

ally

Oct 30, 2019 06:47

The safest is the homely type

dahlia

Oct 30, 2019 07:53

Take isteekharah. Allah will guides u for the best . Best luck for u

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Deleted User

Oct 30, 2019 09:10

Allah knows best so seek guidance from him and he will surely show you the way. May he make it easy for all of us.

Amir

Oct 30, 2019 10:08

Think you are right, the homely one is better. Progressive people often use others for ladders. I was in similar situation in 2003 with two other girls in their 20's.

Then one was a Russian medical student in Moldova, and other a Russian-Tatar mix graduate in Azerbaijan. Everyone said, take the doctor, but I visited both and then made a decision. First one was calm, but second had a temper (may be the Tatar in her).

michael8

Oct 30, 2019 12:33

I'm American, but well traveled. I can tell you that the US lifestyle is destructive to both marriage and religion. You can be happily married and live a religious life here, but it's not easy.

The biggest problem is the cost of living vs income ratio, which incents couples to desire lifestyles which require two incomes. If one spouse is not staying at home to manage the home affairs, your life will be more chaotic, which takes time away from both the marriage and from religion.

Then, into that mix, if you add children (which almost everyone wants to do) ........forget anything called a "peaceful home life". It is simply not possible to have peace in the home with two spouses working AND children in the home. Both of you will be running around exhausted all the time and have no time for each other or for Allah.

Everyone has said "pick the peaceful one who wants to manage the home." I agree, I'm just explaining the reasons why that's the right choice.

Amir

Oct 30, 2019 15:13

Sometimes fate has different in store for us. I applied for fiancee visa for the medical student in Moldova, but American consulate in Chisinau didn't process fiancee visas so she had to go to the embassy in Bucharest which was in the local newspapers every 3 weeks and even made it to an American magazine as The Pink Embassy in 2004, only 3 month before her visa interview. May be if I had chosen the one in Azerbaijan, I would have had someone. Azeris had oil so they wanted Russians out.

Samer

Nov 5, 2019 05:58

Which does your heart tell you is the right one at the right time. It might be confused so just keep digging info until you reach a more stable position in your options

Amir

Nov 5, 2019 11:28

For someone who's been married 3 times, I tell you that I notice the marriage culture change after 2005. Until then, even Russian and Ukrainian girls wanted to marry. Now you can go to remote villages of even the Islamic world and all you find are the scams. A lot of you name wealth, Audi or BMW, but I say even that's either more of a reason to scam or even that's not enough as they want everything. Mercedes with gray hair, they don't want.

Amir

Nov 5, 2019 17:28

I'm 54 now. If somehow I could trade my age with a 24 year old, I will NOT do it because the time we lived were better.

Kartika

Nov 6, 2019 13:52

There's a hadist said. Man marry a woman because of 4 things, beautiful, lineage, wealth, and Deen. Choose the one who has deen, you may live in tranquility. I wish that I knew this hadist before. So, I can choose someone that lead me to hereafter.

SamirDZ

Nov 7, 2019 12:53

At least youb had 2 to choose from. I can't find a girl who accepts to be a second wife, except single mothers with a kid or more.

Amir

Nov 7, 2019 13:36

@ SamirDZ - At least you have one. Most single guys here complain they can't even find one.

 

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