Helahel

What is the proper attitude for selecting a potential match on an online site?

What is the proper attitude for selecting a potential match on an online site?

Peace Guy Created Oct 16, 2019 22:29
13 Comments

It seems that many people online have a somewhat selfish attitude of "what's in it for me". They go for looks (attraction), support (money), social status (background), or a similar religious philosophy (piety). All these are permitted reasons for marriage in Islam, but they are based on some one-way benefit to the individual instead of a mutual cause. Wouldn't it be better to look at a potential marriage candidate for how good of a mother or father they would be for future children? This is a common goal of any marriage, but I don't see much emphasis placed on the subject of marital responsibilities or mutual benefits. Most profiles stress how they "want something" (like to have fun) or "get something" (like support) out of a marriage. "Me, myself and I" instead of "We, us, and ours". Coming together as a team seems to be a low priority for online candidates. Do you think that it is realistic to be selfish when selecting a potential match?

 

This topic has 14 comments

Amir

Oct 17, 2019 03:18

Men still want what they sought for centuries, the beauty. It's women who've changed. They used to look for security (thru wealth and/or status), but now they want EVERYTHING !!!

Peace Guy

Oct 17, 2019 05:58

Yes, Amir, unfortunately you are right. That's why I have made a change in myself. I don't really want to marry a beautiful woman. I seek only the inner integrity of a good personality. I actually learned this concept from a woman on this site. She turned me down because "I am too good looking". Her logic was that a person cannot be perfect (because only Allah is perfect), so if I look good, there must be something else wrong with me. I've found this concept to be very true concerning online matches. The ones who have glamorous photos all seem to have a bad attitude. I believe that the person who changes their own attitude will be blessed. Choose a basic quality that is important and keep an open mind about everything else.

Amir

Oct 17, 2019 13:51

Unfortunately, the reality is, you can say I have zero demands, but the other side will still have all the usual demands. Now they want a guy who's same age as them, have the right looks, own a well-furnished house, a flashing car, etc., but how would a guy their age have all that?

No Photo

Deleted User

Oct 18, 2019 15:10

And some women aren't asking for much from a spouse really but the same men that will come on this forum and preach about inner beauty are the same men that will reject women because of their colour and I call that recist. Let's start accepting each other as brothers and sisters in Islam and stop going in for facial beauty, colour, body shape etc wasalam.

Peace Guy

Oct 19, 2019 23:13

@ ❤ Ameen Sister! I have felt a similar rejection due to my Jewish heritage, which is a form of racism. We are all equal, and we are all beautiful inside.

Zeinab58

Oct 20, 2019 09:24

Only ask for what you are willing to give! Be realistic and most importantly be HONEST.
Starting a relationship on lies will fail.
Allah knows best

Zeinab58

Oct 20, 2019 09:24

Only ask for what you are willing to give! Be realistic and most importantly be HONEST.
Starting a relationship on lies will fail.
Allah knows best

Amir

Oct 20, 2019 16:31

@ Peace Guy - Islam is closer to Judism than any other religion, including Christianity which is a mixture of Judism and Roman paganism (religions mixed to save the Roman Empire). Talmud allows up to 4 wives. There are a couple of accounts in Talmud that skip the Christian Bible but show up in Quran with minor differences. One is that of Abraham and Nimrod, other is Isaiah and Ismael.

ENIGMA

Oct 20, 2019 16:49

#amir..
If Islam is closer to Judaism then why the hatred from jews.. eg, Stealing land, killing and raping Palestinian women and children in front of family members?
Its not just about zionists but the average jew and rabbi's support Benjamin Netanyah

Amir

Oct 21, 2019 04:05

Because they are neighbors. Who do people normally fight with? Those known or near to them, not ones unknown or far from them.

Some of the most well known names are actually Jewish -- Einstein, Chaplin and just about every Hollywood actor even when they're named Michael Douglas.

ENIGMA

Oct 21, 2019 12:10

#amir..
Neighbours don't usually go to a sickening Jewish level.. Normal people tend to fight over loud music, parking spaces, kids kicking the ball over the garden and so on.
Palestinians use a sling shot while jews answer with bombs and gun shots.
Yeah i know Hollywood is run by jews that's why Hollywood is well known for pedophilia.

ENIGMA

Oct 21, 2019 12:16

#amir..
Bruv, we leave it as that.. otherwise we gonna get into politics and this isn't the site for that..

Peace Guy

Oct 21, 2019 23:25

@ Amir - You have some interesting observations, but they don't fit the topic of this thread. Please start a new thread to discuss religious comparisons.

@ Looking 4 U - You are right that this forum is not the place for political debates.

Please limit the comments to the subject of how to choose a potential spouse on this site.

Amir

Oct 22, 2019 05:55

I think a lot of fake profiles on this site. In Israel people can't digest food without taking politics !!!

 

Leave comment...

You must be logged in to post comments. Please log in or register.