The Challenges of Helahel: Fraudsters, Ego and Pride

The Challenges of Helahel: Fraudsters, Ego and Pride

Rashyd2104 Created Jul 8, 2019 10:10

Salam Alaikum Waramotullahi Wabarakatuhu

I have been on this app for some time and I must confess its been a funny, interesting, boring but wonderful experience.

I'll pick each of the areas I listed in the Heading above one after the other

FRAUDSTERS: As much as we have genuine members of this community, we have MANY Fraudulent people (both Male and Female). I have met 2 ladies on this website (a Kenyan and an American) who thought I was going to scam them (because I am a Nigerian) but Alhamdulilah even if we couldn't become a couple for various reasons, WE STILL COMMUNICATE TILL TODAY.

I'll advise/suggest that ALL of us should STOP stereotyping against people from certain parts of the world. Yes, some Africans have not been honest in their dealings with foreigners but DOES IT MAKE EVERY AFRICAN A FRAUDSTER?

EGO: I have looked at Hundreds of Female Profiles on this website and most times I just laugh. If I find your profile interesting, I send you a message. However, I have observed something from our Sisters (No offence please). MOST of them don't want people who reside OUTSIDE THEIR COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE but they DO NOT DEEM IT FIT to put it in their profile. Once you message them (and you are lucky they respond), its either they start giving signs of the guy wanting to use them for Permanent Residency/Visa stuff and they start acting up. For every lady I have interacted with on this website I am glad to always tell them that as much as I crave for occupation/residence in a foreign land,I won't make it a priority in the relationship. There is nothing bad if I am in Nigeria and I have a wife in Indonesia, US, Malaysia or Canada. Its all about discussing and looking at the possibilities of who should move amongst the two parties.

One thing we ALL should know is that irrespective of the love/affection anyone on this website can have for themselves, the issue of granting visa/PR rests with the authorities of that country. We are all aware of the Trump's admin very high handed policy at immigrants from all over the world coming into the US. I have been reading several messages about this site being frustrating for people because of lack of people with genuine intentions but I believe if we ALL keep an open mind towards one another, almost everyone would get that partner they truly connect with.

PRIDE: Like I said in the challenge of EGO above, I'll also want us to know that why most of us are not getting the kind of partners we seek is Pride. I have sent hundreds of messages on this website and sometimes I'm amazed that some of those ladies I messaged DO NOT reply. Some reply at the first instance but suddenly stop replying to further messages.

Although there are people whom I have messaged and we have communicated outside this community but majority on this website don't respond to messages. As a guy, I'll direct this suggestion to our beautiful sisters. Please even if you dislike the guy's face, profile, location, job or even his message, simply respond that you are not interested in his offer. This will allow the guy move on and know how to keep searching for what he desires in other available ladies

In addition, a guy who looks at your profile every now and then but fails to message such lady only has one thing: Shyness or Fear of the response he might get from such sister. I'll therefore also suggest that our sisters should sometimes be the first to reach out, it doesn't diminish your status or what you stand for. Moreover, the world today is preaching Gender Equality today so it is not a necessity that only the man should be the first to reach out once profiles are checked

May Allah make it easy for all of us.

Ma Salam

PS: Admin should try and create a Delete function for past chats. It will help everyone of us know the people we are interacting with presently without confusing them with those we've interacted with in the past


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