Helahel

A Real Love Story

A Real Love Story

Amir Created Feb 15, 2019 17:39
40 Comments

The story dates back to a time when girls sought husbands, instead of partners, and there were only landline phones and emails. We met on a dating website. She was 24 and I was 39.

She was a Russian girl from Kishnev, 172 cm, 54 kg, blonde/ blue; very polite, sweet and easy to please; and wore turtle neck tops and pants, never skirts. She was looking for a husband 10 to 20 years older than her, and because "it was the next things to do in life" as she was going to graduate from her medical university that summer.

I went to see her in the snows of January, We met outside for the first 3 days. On 4th day, she took me home to meet her dad who was PhD and her brother who was EE (like myself). Her mother had died when she was 15. The vintage vacuum-tube radio in their old Soviet apartment on the outskirts of the city was 3' x 1.5' x 1', something I hadn't seen since my pre-school days in Kuwait. They made their own jam and pickles. Her dad said to me, he cared not if I was a Russian, a Polish or an Arab, and took me to garage behind the apartment block to proudly show his Russian car Lada. Before this I had seen Lada only in Gorky Park movie. Those cars made in the 70's and 80's still run in the ex-Soviet small towns.

I came back to the US, and applied for her a fiancée visa. Phone cards of $10 allowed a talk time of 1h 40m. If I talked any less, she would complain. That summer she graduated with 95% marks, and that Sept. came her visa interview at the American Embassy, which didn't see her as my girl, but instead, she was their girl, and I was the intruder, a nobody who was trying to lure their girl into a marriage they didn't personally approve of. It's great to be in a position of power because then all it takes is a pen to destroy lives. So they falsified "No proof of relationship" on the papers and refused her a visa.

To make matters worse, this happened at the age of 40, which is a magic number for men, after which their demand declines exponentially.

 

This topic has 53 comments

No Photo

Ahmedz

Feb 17, 2019 13:32

Could you not have married her and applied for a spousal visa?

Abdul

Feb 17, 2019 14:07

You could have married her and apply for a spouse visa .. I have heard stories of how either of the partner travel from one place to another just have a happy home and good family .. Most important thing is as along as Almighty Allah has bless both partners.. Things will fall in place

Amir

Feb 17, 2019 15:46

There are many hints in story to suggest that it's an old story. It dates back to 2004. Story is also meant to show that all women were family oriented in the past, and that times have changed. Struggle that I went thru following the visa denial turned me into a visa, then legal and then political expert, but not for better. It all proved to be a life destroying experience.

Immigrant spouse visa takes 3 years so in 1998 they came up with a fiancée (K-1) like non-immigrant visa (K-3) to bring in a spouse in 7 months (at that time), now 10 months, and K-3 visa denial rate is higher than K-1 visa denial rate. Take it to court, and they throw "doctrine of consular non-reviewability" defense, meaning consulate's visa decisions are not subject to judicial review. This doctrine was upheld as recently as 2014 in the US Supreme Court (see Din vs. Kerry), which basically ruled that you can marry, but there is no RIGHT to live in the US with your spouse.

In my university days, I had an Iranian classmate, who had undergone 3 attempts to bring his wife from Iran, with both flying to Istanbul on each visa attempt, accumulating a debt of $10,000 in the process. This is when a new 3=bedroom home in Midwest cost $30,000. On 2nd attempt the wife was pregnant, and with an infant on 3rd attempt.

simple123

Feb 17, 2019 21:28

Yr story remind me of one of my friends. She is Indonesian, married to US citizen in 2002 in her country. Both r devout christian. Up to 3 yrs after their marriage, she still could not get spouse visa. If I m not mistaken, as I lost contact w/her after 2007, they decided that he moved to her country rather then living separately. No one in the US embassy can give answer on how long her spouse visa will be issued, if ever.

Amir

Feb 17, 2019 22:37

You can catch a glimpse of her in this video. I won't say exactly where because song is worth listening to, otherwise I wouldn't have translated it into English. I still have her expired air ticket and all of the jewelry I bought for our marriage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rWy-d3kdoo&t=4s

simple123

Feb 19, 2019 18:05

Just watch the video. She is beautiful. & the song is really worth listening, too. Thanks for the english translation

good muslim

Feb 27, 2019 13:21

i am so sorry, it was just not meant to be

No Photo

Deleted User

Feb 27, 2019 17:08

Qadrallah baby...

If it's your fruit you will squash it even if it's between two mountains...

If it's not destinied as yours it will not even get into your tongue even if it's between your two lips...

Go with the flow come what may... Came allhamdulillah not came la haula Wala quwatta illa billah...

This duniyah is very short eternal is very long, even after returning from a traumatic incident and haunts and haunting nightmares, went to job, attended meetings, none could have sniffed me that am going through something a kinda heart fever, lol...

Allhamdulillah with Allah everything possible...

I am almost ok...

Still what I have lost something is priceless but not that priceless in front of Allah...

Because that my priceless is atom level as Allah has created everyone....

Still for what strong belief I lost is still lost not my belief but one of the creation of Allah that doesn't make me worry anymore, as I feel like my qalb is more powerful to intake the loss allhamdulillah...

Amir

Mar 3, 2019 19:16

The Love Story before "A Real Love Story"

I was 33 and she was 17. We met thru a PayPal service and exchanged only 3 letters because that's all it took back then. I flew to Algiers. Back then, luck was on my side because despite an economy-class air ticket, I was seated on first first-class seat of the old 4-hour late B732. Her village was in the mountains of Kabylia region. After some travel up the mountain, taxi driver would stop and ask for directions, and got the answer, "it's further up." It was the last village on the mountain top. When I saw her, I was really happy. Half the people in her village looked like French people. Someone would later say, I came, chose the most beautiful girl in the village, and took her away with me.

After she came to the US, I found her a job in a dental lab so she could help out her poor family. It was my 1st mistake. First her Christian Lebanese boss' parents tried to take her from me. I owned a duplex at the time. We lived on one side. I rented out the other side to an opportunist Algerian family who had recently come to the US on lottery visa. This was my 2nd mistake. I figured we are married and they are married so there won't be any problem. In so thinking, I forgot the green card factor. These opportunists wanted to divorce her to bring their brother into the US, and broke up a otherwise normal marriage. At the time of divorce in Dec. 2003 she was only 24 years old. When leaving, she told me, "baby grew up."

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 5, 2019 02:14

How many novels you have wrote dear amir?

Your creative imaginations and exceptional story writings are mind boggling lol 🤣😂

Amir

Mar 5, 2019 03:22

That's what they told Marco Polo on his death bed, and he each time he said, "I saw what I saw."

The most beautiful girl iny life wasn't my Russian fiancee, it was Mira, 23, who came to see me from Ukrainian Carpathians when I lived in Lviv in 2013. Anyone who saw her with me automatically hated me. Even girls stared at her.

First day, we met outside. Second time she came to my apt. We went to Ashan, bought groceries and she cooked the best tasting mushrooms. I worked on my laptop in the other room, and she watched TV in living room. She was too shy to sleep on the bed so she fell asleep on the couch. I came, turned off TV, picked her up and put her in bed, covered with blankets. That night I slept in the other room. You never forget beauty.

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 5, 2019 03:57

You need to do wudu Mr amir and say audu billahi Mina shaithaan nirrajim for your past and read surah Al bakra in sound manner in Sha Allah you will be all right

No Photo

Abdorracheed salem

Mar 5, 2019 06:52

Ohhhh Mr Amir
Take it an advice from me you are wasting your time on here
You can write a novel about your lovely stories
Or turn them to a movies
Russian Algerian Ukrainian who s next ?

Amir

Mar 5, 2019 13:03

This is the problem. Nexts are hard to come by because of age or stigmas that go with age. Only a year ago I walked entire length of tram from Alsarai to Galati in Istanbul and back to Sultan Ahmed with a 7 kg backpack. So, due to stigmas associated with age, we can only go back in time, and who said I was done with the past? But do not assume a playboy personality because I didn't want to leave any of them. Mira would be like Angelina jolie. You just can't do any better.

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 5, 2019 19:52

Why don't you notify Oscars?

You don't need Oscar mr.amir.

Oscar in need of you.

Amir on demand.

Lol 🤣

Amir

Mar 7, 2019 01:14

Love story before all others above

"And women there (Iran) are beautiful", Marco Polo

I was 28 and she was 21, 5'5", very slender, hazel eyes, soft straight hair and the most perfect skin color. In this part of the world exists a certain cuteness which isn't found elsewhere. All 4 of her brother and sisters were like that. Shes the half-sister of my Iranian friend at the American university. He talked to his family but they wouldn't agree because Iranian families are pretty close-knit. Finally, I made an offer they couldn't refuse. I promised to send her to medical university in the US. Everyone makes promises, but very few stay true to their words. In all of my life, I never had to say, I promise or swear, etc. because my word was my promise. I flew to Tehran and married her. The travel agent lady who saw her photo called her "exotic." As soon as I brought her home from the airport, she asked me to send her back, pay off my house and come to her in Iran. Once she even asked me to take her to my job where she just sat by me all day long because she was bored at home. Then came her English classes and Iranian girlfriends and their stupid advices. Despite her poor English, she worked at Dillard's, an elite department store. After English classes were over, she took only one biology class and secretly dropped it because she was not the study kind. There ended the dream of adding Dr. to her name and making her family proud. This also meant there was no need to stay in the US or stay married. One day, while I was at work, she packed up all the goodies and she was gone.

Kebriya

Mar 7, 2019 06:29

So what’s wrong with you that all those gorogus girls including the Persian girl left you?! I’m very curious to know. I had been following your stories, quiet catchy I must say! I spoke now bc I am Persian and I certainly do like to now why all your stories end sadly. I heard that “ the good guy gets the girl at the end”.
By the way, “ Dellard’s, an elit department store”....REALLY??!!! Lol

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 7, 2019 07:21

Hahaha lol this guy lmao

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 7, 2019 07:22

Hahaha kebriya sister catching....

Amir

Mar 7, 2019 10:27

@ Kebiya - If Johnny Depp can't keep a woman, should you really be asking me this question in this day and age?

Dillard's is not Beverly Hills, but Dillard's was the best in any shopping mall, more expensive and elequent than JCPenney, Sears, Macy.

Amir

Mar 7, 2019 11:03

I think, the only one who would have stayed was my Russian fiancee because she had World War Ii era mentality, as old as the vacuum tube radio in their apartment. Even Iranian and Algerian could have been kept by having a baby. One thing, once a relationship is over, people speak bad of the other, something I never did.

Amir

Mar 7, 2019 11:03

I think, the only one who would have stayed was my Russian fiancee because she had World War Ii era mentality, as old as the vacuum tube radio in their apartment. Even Iranian and Algerian could have been kept by having a baby. One thing, once a relationship is over, people speak bad of the other, something I never did.

Amir

Mar 7, 2019 11:07

At the end, life gives you what you want. I mean, really want. I only asked for beauty, and that's all I got was beauty.

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 7, 2019 16:07

Johnny Depp is a womeniser, a full time weed inhaler , he is full time drug addict, he abuse Everytime , so you're comparing with this guy?

Amir

Mar 7, 2019 17:41

May be it's women who man-ize such men, then accuse them of abuse, take off with divorce and half their wealth to do what they really want to do, which is to live independent lives, which is what 53% of females over the age of 18 are doing in the US, and this is 2014 figure.

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 8, 2019 00:03

I am telling you mr.amir you have diverted your path of selection which is dwelled for duniyah rather you should dwell in Deen lot n lot, more n more so that you will get what your heart wants in Sha Allah Nd if you believe in Allah you will get pious muslimah, and you both dwell together enjoin what is halal and you will have a peaceful life and even death has to approach it will be satisfying.

Now you are just wasting your time by rewinding old cassettes playing into tape recorder which already too old and comparing your life with non Muslims men and women with what statistics says.

Rather see how prophet and sahabas lived with more wives without any problem , there were young girls , married old ones all but still everyone took care of everything allhamdulillah....

Amir

Mar 8, 2019 02:19

Only my cassettes are 25 years old and yours are 1400 years old.

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 8, 2019 18:13

So you are non Muslim right amir?

Mohamed

Mar 8, 2019 19:53

Interesting question brother zil qarnain

No Photo

Sweet Muslimah

Mar 8, 2019 21:28

Amir just pray istikharah and seek Allahs guidance, youll be fine. How can we deny his mercy and guidance!

Amir

Mar 8, 2019 21:48

I was 21, a university student in USA and in Army ROTC. She was 19, an American, 5'4", blonde/blue, average. We married. We lived with her parents.
After 5 years of marriage, had a son, my only child, now 26, a handsome young man with a very pretty American wife.

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 9, 2019 03:06

You are sounding like brother of ''joker donald trump'', he also admires his sons wife and daughters in a negative way.

what are you upto here?

Yes brother Mohamed finally he couldn't resist his patience, he busted.

sister sweet muslimah ask him for regular prayers lol

Amir

Mar 9, 2019 04:00

I try not to get personal here, but a couple of you guys really push the envelope. No one is forcing you to read.

Then I taught English to a girl, 33, in a health resort town between Lviv and the Carpathians, where I used to pack empty bottles in my backpack and carry 20 liters of spring water 2 km back to the apt.

One day the landowner asked her to find him a girl and she hooked him up with her girlfriend, who asked him to sell his 3 apt. there to buy one in Lviv. He started hesitating and she was gone.

This girl loved taking walks in -10 C snow, something I hated. On the morning she cooked pancakes which we ate with honey. Only in Ukraine can you find real honey. Ukraine is the largest exporter of sunflower oil. No flowers, no real honey. Honey in other countries is made by feeding sugar to bees. In the evening, I experimented cooking dished off YouTube.

Winter turned to spring, she took her English exam and passed. English teachers make more money than other subject teachers, and the 4 months in the health resort town came to an end. She moved back to Lviv and I returned to USA.






No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 9, 2019 04:13

-10 degree c lmao and she enjoyed walking, I am expecting more from you next time ...

As you said you push the envelope I am so interested and forced to read...

You can write down the book name and author....

Kebriya

Mar 9, 2019 04:30

ALLAH Akbr
Smh lol I never knew I can laugh so hard
Alhamduallah

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 9, 2019 04:33

Hahhah

Amir

Mar 9, 2019 04:34

She hated my Russian fiancee. She used to say, "Some women are voodoo. That's why you ended up in Ukraine."

Amir

Mar 9, 2019 04:34

She hated my Russian fiancee. She used to say, "Some women are voodoo. That's why you ended up in Ukraine."

Amir

Mar 9, 2019 04:36

You are totally free to laugh yo a** off all you want.

No Photo

Sweet Muslimah

Mar 9, 2019 20:38

Amir you sound more like a story writer, maybe publish a book- pray to Allah it sells well and ask him to guide you rightly with halaal intentions.
You are making yourself look a fool on here with these stories but don't worry we wont judge for Allah is best of all judges

Amir

Mar 9, 2019 22:33

That would be the case if rest of the forum was very sensible. You have or had young unemployed men here speaking and seeking polygamy, or what was that word, polygyny.

I've been here since Sept, 2018. I saw a girl, 29, in Sumy region of Ukraine (sounds like another story). We spent 2 weeks together but every time I spoke of marriage, it was as if I was speaking of death. Mind you that not only in western countries, but also in Islamic nations, 67% of the divorces are being filed by women. Guess all men will be judged for the actions of the women.

I've been on this site since Sept. 2018. I wrote to a few girls here from Morocco and Tunisia. They had viewed my profile, but didn't seem to know my age until I told them. I just wanted to be sure before spending on another trip, so after 4 months, I got on forum to gain some sympathy as to how I got to be the age that I'm. Apparently to women, it only means "making yourself look a fool."

I was not with everyone or many. I was only with ones I really liked and wanted to marry. Who wants to spend only 2 weeks with a beautiful woman?

No Photo

Sweet Muslimah

Mar 10, 2019 19:20

That's my point brother! referring to istikharah. only Allah knows our dstiny so to avoid further tris, heartaches, money wasting etc why don't you pray istikharah and ask Allah for guidance? please research ISTIKHARAH and save yourself from haram and save yourself for your dream woman

Amir

Mar 10, 2019 20:07

There has to be a prospect before istikhara or not? This girl, 29, from Ukraine is starting to write more and more, and says she wants to come so be it because girls on this site are horrified of age and can't stand a single strand of gray hair on man's head. To think of it, arranged marriage wasn't a bad thing after all because parents were older and could make more mature and rational decisions. If I could redo it all, I would marry my cousin (mother's sister's daughter) who looked like my Iranian wife. Only I had watched too many blondes on Kuwait TV and just had to try all that.

Today, I learnt of some shocking statistics that I want to share. Divorce rate among Muslim couples in the US was 31.14%, but this was back in the 1990's. Recent (2006-2010) research shows that divorce rate among Muslim couples in the US is no different than among non-Muslim couples (53%), and divorces among Muslim couples happen over same reasons as non-Muslim couples!!!

Amir

Mar 14, 2019 03:19

And finding someone isn't all about looks either. There was a Lebanese man who married a beautiful but expensive North African (I don't want to write the country) girl. After the money ran out, she was gone, and he jumped from his 7-storey apartment window. As the Wishmaster says, "becareful what you wish for." I came across a pretty girl on this site from the same country and early on the conversation was about how much maher was I going to pay, and even if she worked in the US and made $2,500/month, it is traditionally the man who is responsible for wife's maintenance. I told her, it's because traditionally women didn't work, and her maher will be her green card

@ Sweet Muslimah - sorry for another story but everyone is on the forum to tell a story. If you don't like a link, don't click on it.

Amir

Mar 14, 2019 10:02

In Abu Dhabi I met a south Asian man on expired visa living in a room with 9 other men. He knew a lot of things so I knew something bad had happened in his life. Later, someone else told me his story. He was a married bank manager in his country. He came across a beautiful girl, also from this country in north Africa. He helped her, helped her family, even lived in Dubai together for a year until the money embezzled from bank ran out. In this, he lost her, his job, his family and now couldn't even go back to his country.

Also, I met a south Asian man in Kiev, who decades ago, came, worked, saved, drove taxi, bought a box shop in market (Rinok). After he had 17 such shops, he met a beautiful girl and lost all his shops. Now he was back driving a taxi.

Luckily, most of the girls I met weren't like this, and I was never this desperate. In 1997 (UK) and 2004 (US) I was invited by married Muslim women while their husband was at work, but I refused despite being single. That's more Muslim than those with beards and practicing who would jump on such an opportunity.

Amir

Mar 15, 2019 02:01

Now Mira's story, the most beautiful girl who came in my life. Mind you these aren't just stories, for in story is some lesson or insight of the times or the regions.

Being from a village in the Carpathians, she had to marry by age 20, and ended up in Lviv with her husband and mother-in-law, where she got this nasty habit of bottle in one hand and cigarette in the other from her mother-in-law. She had a baby boy, and after a couple of years started working. One day, she came home and told her husband, she found someone else at work. Her husband gave her 50 hyrivnas for taxi, and said, then go.

Her 2nd marriage was to an older Iranian man in Kiev with a comfy apt. He just wanted her to be where he could see her, only Mira couldn't sit still, so he bought her a car which she drove to Lviv and sold it. She was so beautiful that in 7 month marriage this guy took her to Iran twice. After she left, he went for her village and begged her mother for her return.

We were together only 2 days when she asked me for a car, and I'm thinking, you want a car after telling me all these stories. For Mira even a brand new car wasn't a problem. Only question was how long was she going to stay. Seeing me reluctant, she said her mother was ill and left.

Next man in her life was an older Turkish guy. With him, she didn't even wait 2 days. In 2 hours she told him to buy her a car, and this guy bought her a car, gave her a credit card and started inviting her to Istanbul every 2 weeks. With him, she was happy.

Still, I wouldn't call her a scammer. She had some dreams, and thought she fulfill them with her beauty.

Single Mother (deactivated)

Mar 15, 2019 19:10

Amir

Mar 15, 2019 21:34

Yes, Single Mother, Mira's mother used to tell her to learn German to find a job in Germany, but Mira didn't even need to learn even A, B, C. Men were competing to take care of her. She was 23, 172 cm, 51 kg, blond/blue.

Amir

Mar 16, 2019 20:05

At first, it may seem that my concept of beauty is purely Western, but it's not entirely so.

With Muslim girls and families, it's not just if you can afford a wife or not, they will want you to have one house in their country; you have to not only agree to a large maher, you are expected to pay it upfront as if they will repay it in the event of divorce; and even if the girl works, and it's not difficult to find $2,500/month job, you are expected to pay for her maintenance as if she wasn't working at all. In south Asia, families ask you to transfer ownership of a land plot ($29,000 minimum) to girl prior to marriage. Even job is no longer sufficient, they want a successful businessman. For these reasons, it's becoming all too common to see never-married girls aged 32 and above in Muslim countries.

Tough cookie

Mar 17, 2019 00:12

Islam has offered a manual of instruction. Why not just follow it? A mahar should be practical and the main purpose is as a compulsory gift to consummate a marriage. But people manipulate this and start demanding. And brother Amir, I have to say that I enjoyed reading your experience. Creative writers always amazes me. I am not sure if you signed up for Khadija, but you keep ending up getting Kardahshians hehe.

No Photo

Deleted User

Mar 17, 2019 00:29

Lol

Still continue

Hahahaha

Amir

Mar 17, 2019 01:49

"Creative writer.. still continue." I hope that crazy Indonesian guy DQ isn't back under a few new aliases.

If a girl demands a divorce, and since 67% of divorces are filed by women, will she or her family repay the maher they insisted upon collecting upfront? With divorce rate as it is, maher should be paid at the time of delivery if it is the man who wants a divorce.

Furthermore, the demands go on to include that age difference not be more than 5 years. Women demand 32 carat gold which they immediately take to jewler to have it tested. Also, girls don't do anything after marriage. A south Asian husband asked his wife to dance for him, and she got a divorce.

In the east, never dare marry in the town that you live in, or allocate half of your income to gifts for her and your family. Also, it's shameful for a man to speak about his wife, but trust me, her family and friends will know EVERYTHING about you.




Amir

Mar 17, 2019 07:02

New year 2012, I celebrated at Red Square in Moscow. In Slavic countries Dec. 30 thru Jan 10 are holidays. A few days earlier, I went with a friend to St. Petersburg (simply called Peter by Russians) near Finland. I thought there will be some girls in his family. There I learnt he lived in some village nearby so I refused to go further. Besides, it was too cold for comfort.

Upon return.to Moscow, I made a sweet girlfriend, 31. She wasn't Mira but she was a family girl who worked for a diamond cutter. She would turn up at dates with work badge on her skirt. Then came January 15 and -30 C, and I developed a deep cough for breathing air in directly, and couldn't wait to get out of there.

Anyone looking for Slavic girls should try Siberia because Ukraine has been visa-free for a long time for Westerns and Turks and they have spoiled these girls. Average income in Ukraine is only $200 per month, yet Kiev has 5+ large shopping malls. How? Because of foreigners spending on girls. Siberia is untouched territory.

 

Leave comment...

You must be logged in to post comments. Please log in or register.