Helahel

second wife

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second wife

Trustworthy Created Nov 1, 2018 12:09
22 Comments

Why you are Muslims do not accept halal and pushing men for haram. when you as a lady for a relationship they might accept ,regardless if one is married or both. but when someone says i want to marry another time and enjoy halal. then everyone looks at you as if you committing a crime.

 

This topic has 42 comments

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Deleted User

Nov 1, 2018 16:54

بسم الله الحرمن الرحيم
وَاِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ اَلَّا تُقۡسِطُوۡا فِى الۡيَتٰمٰى فَانْكِحُوۡا مَا طَابَ لَـكُمۡ مِّنَ النِّسَآءِ مَثۡنٰى وَثُلٰثَ وَرُبٰعَ​ ​ۚ فَاِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ اَلَّا تَعۡدِلُوۡا فَوَاحِدَةً اَوۡ مَا مَلَـكَتۡ اَيۡمَانُكُمۡ​ ؕ ذٰ لِكَ اَدۡنٰٓى اَلَّا تَعُوۡلُوۡا ؕ‏ ﴿4:3﴾

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

(4:3) If you fear that you might not treat the orphans justly, then marry the women that seem good to you: two, or three, or four.4 If you fear that you will not be able to treat them justly, then marry (only) one,5 or marry from among those whom your right hands possess.6 This will make it more likely that you will avoid injustice.

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Deleted User

Nov 1, 2018 16:54

بسم الله الحرمن الرحيم
وَاِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ اَلَّا تُقۡسِطُوۡا فِى الۡيَتٰمٰى فَانْكِحُوۡا مَا طَابَ لَـكُمۡ مِّنَ النِّسَآءِ مَثۡنٰى وَثُلٰثَ وَرُبٰعَ​ ​ۚ فَاِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ اَلَّا تَعۡدِلُوۡا فَوَاحِدَةً اَوۡ مَا مَلَـكَتۡ اَيۡمَانُكُمۡ​ ؕ ذٰ لِكَ اَدۡنٰٓى اَلَّا تَعُوۡلُوۡا ؕ‏ ﴿4:3﴾

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

(4:3) If you fear that you might not treat the orphans justly, then marry the women that seem good to you: two, or three, or four.4 If you fear that you will not be able to treat them justly, then marry (only) one, or marry from among those whom your right hands possess.This will make it more likely that you will avoid injustice.

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Deleted User

Nov 1, 2018 16:55

(4:3) If you fear that you might not treat the orphans justly, then marry the women that seem good to you: two, or three, or four.If you fear that you will not be able to treat them justly, then marry (only) one, or marry from among those whom your right hands possess.This will make it more likely that you will avoid injustice.

ally

Nov 7, 2018 14:31

it is mandentory to accept pologamy ,whether to pratice it not depends to your circumtances ,pologamy is a blessing and not a crime

Sarfraz8285

Nov 8, 2018 04:50

When 1 thing is permitted by GOD, by Islam, practically done by Prophet SAW, then why not accepted by community.
Don't be like Kuffar.

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halima

Nov 9, 2018 09:27

many sisters have become skeptical of being in a polygamous marriage because men do not adhere to the rules put in the Qur'an for taking additional wives for equality. some prefer the younger wife, some show preference to the older wife. some men also want secret marriage so as to keep first wife happy....so in that the other additional wives lose their right because they are told don't call me because i don't want 1st wife to know, or end month the guy refuse to take care of financial responsibility saying the 1st wife made many demands...also some people have divorced 1st wife 1 talaq then they want to take another wife instead of first resolving with the 1st one...then after 3 mnths they say, we have now come to agreement with 1st wife so now i have to divorce you (the 2nd wife). when you see sisters refusing to polygamous marriage it's because the men do not know that taking additional wife has its rules. men to blame.

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Deleted User

Dec 9, 2018 19:36

Sis Halima..... marriage is an institution..... Its what you make it become is what it will be. Men have been created to desire women for love, sons for pride and hoards of wealth for power. A woman who understands this blessing requests his husband for a second wife n best part is she chooses a co-wife mergible of conduct to both her n hubby. Whenever a man goes looking for a second wife n hides 1st wyf, he isnt following deen. Literally he suffers to please 1st wife then marries secretly yet Allah gave him the right to marry 4? I dont believe there is love but it is only envy and selfishness. Because the fuel n motivation of such a marriage is fear.... instead of love.

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AbdulAkeem

Dec 16, 2018 10:47

Hmmmmm, I'm learning...

For me, I'm married and I'm going to be 27 by February in sha Allah, due to some reasons, I'm here in pursuit of getting a second wife.

So, i need to know real life situations like these so as not to make the same mistakes.

Looking for good pious wife

Dec 17, 2018 01:11

Allah gave men the ability to marry tow three up to four wives.. And Allah knows best... Our sisters if they know the benefit of the polygamy .. The west they have BF GF and Mistresses... In islam Zina is Haram... That means if a man felt the need of another wife...that means there is somwthing is not getting from his wife...the Alabani said..
If a husband is happy with his wife and content ..then second wife is not recommended...becausd he may destroy the tranquility he has with his first wife...second is only for those they feel need...it is better than divorce..
Divorce is not a good solution only..when marriage is u healthy and toxic..and can lead to harm..
Otherwise...second is better to keep families together...
Example... Husband wants more kids and wife cant have more kids... It is better for him to marry than divorce his first wife..
Oh Allah provide me with a beautiful pious sister for Halal..

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Deleted User

Dec 20, 2018 20:48

There is always a deep science/ Wisdom/ Hikmah or logic every thing in Islam as its designed by the Only creator of this universe - ALLAH
Polygamy is everywhere in one or another way in this world. Some society has accepted it as partner / girlfriend / s*x partner / civil partner ........

Question is why only Muslims are highlighted for polygamy; why not people who have s*x partners on top of their spouse??

Look at world statistics Men Vs Women ; women are increasing at alarming rate which means multiple women to single men anyway (as a ratio).

That's the wisdom behind polygamy that one man can have multiple Nikah to make balance in this world.
Secondly, its great safeguard for Eemaan.
There is fortune in Wife, House and Horse. so search your fortune with wife.

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Amina

Dec 21, 2018 22:15

Why not just stick to one wife ? Why need more than one you have only one heart the man that are here these days don’t marry second wife for the right reasons .

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Amina

Dec 21, 2018 22:15

Why not just stick to one wife ? Why need more than one you have only one heart the man that are here these days don’t marry second wife for the right reasons .

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Deleted User

Dec 22, 2018 12:03

There is only one genuine reason which persuading; To SAVE YOUR EEMAAN

For example wife is not available during certain duration; and man wanted needs wife.
what one should do; dis please Allah. Commit a shariya crime ? .....................



Zakariya

Dec 22, 2018 22:47

Anything that comes from Allah and His messenger (saw) should not be questioned in anyway a lot of us Muslims are marry for many different reasons man and woman when the main reason should be because it’s obedient and pleasing to Allah, one main reason is worldly wealth the Prophet (saw) said the first thing we should seek in a mate is religion then other things, also Allah says in Quran translation “And marry those among you who are single and the saslihoon of your (male) slaves and mid-servants(female slaves) .If they be poor , Allah will enrich them of His Bounty.And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures need, All-Knowing 24:33

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Amina

Dec 24, 2018 01:22

👍🏻

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Amina

Dec 24, 2018 01:22

👍🏻

AnotherTraveler

Dec 27, 2018 14:39

When the love is true and pure you don’t need another partner. When the prophet was married to Khadija he didn’t marry anyone else, even after he got the revelation. And you’ll find several ahadith about the prophet mentioning the kindness and his love to Khadija to his other wives, and even telling them nobody was like her. It was first after Khadija died, the prophet was ordered by god to marry other women for political reasons; to spread Islam to these families by marrying their daughters. He also married widows in order to financially support them.

I’m not against polygamy, but I would never accept being a second, third or fourth wife.

ally

Jan 7, 2019 11:41

sister u better review concerning pologamy with your imam

no one

Jan 7, 2019 13:18

yo ! u are allowed to do polygamy IF u r JUST. being just is not only financially, or physically, REMEMBER that when u marry a woman, her sins n her childrens sins will be on ur accountability, so, men should consider about that too before doing polygamy. and anyway, polygamy is not because u like this girl, n that girl, then u suppose to marry them both or whatever. u do that cause u have a reason that is beyond than "attracted" reason only, if u want to really seek for Allah's blessing upon ur life, then everything should be more beyond than just physically "attracted", cz the prophet did this polygamy not to those women who were younger, prettier, n all, even, the prophet didn't take another wife before khadija's death, n i have to say that before any man questions such this question, u should consider the women's feelings too, it's not easy to share our husband, what if we take another husband ? that's just how we feel inside, so, be better to deal with this by considering the whole factors of why women are usually not ok with this. maybe women's feelings is not that important, but i'd like to say that whatever factor it is should b considered. either it is her feelings, her family, ur family, or anything it is.

no one

Jan 7, 2019 13:28

i view polygamy as something that u do because u want to save someone's life status, like marry an old lady whom is not able to fulfill her living, marry a woman who can't have childs, marry a woman who's poor n in financial struggle, n all those things. NOT BECAUSE, u want this girl, that girl, or that girl over there. polygamy is not a justification for u to take another woman because u attracted to her physically or whatever. i agree to a sister who stated about the prophet condition, he fell in love to khadija, n didn't even take another wife when he was with khadija, he took another wife after her death was because Allah ordered him to, n he did polygamy was also in a cause that's just like i stated above, to save people, an old lady, a widow, n all that. i mean, if u want to do polygamy, either it's just for ur justification to marry more, or u r really religious n willing to strive more just like how the prophet did. if we follow our will to like this girl A, that girl B, C, D, E whatever, u can love almost the entire world. so, when u got one, please just be loyal to her, accept every imperfection that she has, n if u want to do polygamy, really really think about the reason u want to do polygamy, cause It's one extra work for one more wife either in this world or in the heareafter.

Kebriya

Jan 7, 2019 19:40

Salam u Alaykum sister Hdidhdk.
MashaALLAH for your wisdom & your true knowledge of Islam. May ALLH help everybody to follow the truth of Islam and not their own desires and misinterpretation of our deen.
EnshaALLAH
ALLAH know best

KHALID

Jan 8, 2019 22:01

Marriage is not only fun but building a family and raising children for love and not hatred by the second wife.

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Deleted User

Jan 9, 2019 07:02

I do not know where these weird copy cats take stories n just place it here.

They do not know their rocket science neither Islam, it's relating to a hadeeth at the end of day everyone would be act like scholars especially munafiqs...

AnotherTraveler

Jan 9, 2019 08:16

Nobody denied polygamy and labeled it as haram everyone has their own preferences.

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Mohamed

Jan 9, 2019 14:59

I don't know what would Muslims say if prophet Muhammad peace be upon him didn't marry 12 women and died and he was married to 9 wives ...guys chill it is a choice based on the family preferences and of course the husband choice ....but must put in mind that man should be extremely fair if he married 2 wives or more
....
and why would a man marry 2 or 3 or 4 wives it depend ...if he has a high s*x drive and couldn't restrain himself and it may lead to fitnah and he had enough money to fulfill 2 families materialistic needs then he must marry another women

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Mohamed

Jan 9, 2019 15:01

Think of this scenario what would happen if the WWII happened in a Muslim countries lots of young men died and lots of women don't have man in her life and she must work to support herself and their is no polygamy..what would happen I think it is oblivious ....adultery

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Mohamed

Jan 9, 2019 15:14

Polygamy was done by prophet Mohamed and many prophets like 1-prophet ibrahim عليه السلام
2-prophet isaaq(yaqooub)عليه السلام
3-prophet dawoud عليه السلام
4- prophet suleiman عليه السلام
5 - prophet Muhammad عليه الصلاة و السلام ..
And those who I know and their many shabah and many tab'een who marry more than one wife .
And actually the Arab and prophet Muhammad peace be upon him comes from the second wife of prophet Ibrahim .

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 06:51

Irrelevant of status, age, beauty, wealth ALLAH has said marry women of your choice, which your right hand posses which means a lot now contemplating on poor and beauty, which is not the cause and i don't no who gave authority to some females quoting without the knowledge of what she says or copying blindly from online forums, read the verse below...

1 – Justice or fairness.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one”

[al-Nisa’ 4:3]

This aayah is indicates that just treatment is a condition for plural marriage to be permitted. If a man is afraid that he will not be able to treat his wives justly if he marries more than one, then it is forbidden for him to marry more than one. What is meant by the justice that is required in order for a man to be permitted to have more than one wife is that he should treat his wives equally in terms of spending, clothing, spending the night with them and other material things that are under his control.

With regard to justice or fairness in terms of love, he is not held accountable for that, and that is not required of him because he has no control over that. This is what is meant by the verse,

“You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire”

[al-Nisa’ 4:129 – interpretation of the meaning].

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 06:53

2 – The ability to spend on one’s wives:

The evidence for this condition is the verse:

“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allaah enriches them of His Bounty”

[al-Noor 24:33 – interpretation of the meaning]

In this verse Allaah commands those who are able to get married but cannot find the financial means, to remain chaste. One such example is not having enough money to pay the mahr (dowry) and not being able to spend on one’s wife. (al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, part 6, p. 286).

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 06:55

2 – The wisdom behind permitting plural marriage

1 – Plural marriage helps to increase the numbers of the ummah (nation, Muslim community). It is known that the numbers can only be increased through marriage, and the number of offspring gained through plural marriage will be greater than that achieved through marriage to one wife.

Wise people know that increasing the number of offspring will strengthen the ummah and increase the number of workers in it, which will raise its economic standard – if the leaders run the affairs of state well and make use of its resources in a proper manner. Ignore the claims of those who say that increasing the numbers of human beings poses a danger to the earth’s resources which are insufficient, for Allaah the Most Wise Who has prescribed plural marriage has guaranteed to provide provision for His slaves and has created on earth what is more than sufficient for them. Whatever shortfall exists is due to the injustice of administrations, governments and individuals, and due to bad management. Look at China, for example, the greatest nation on earth as far as number of inhabitants is concerned, and it is regarded as one of the strongest nations in the world, and other nations would think twice before upsetting China; it is also one of the great industrialized nations. Who would dare think of attacking China, I wonder? And why?

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 06:57

2 – Statistics show that the number of women is greater than the number of men; if each man were to marry just one woman, this would mean that some women would be left without a husband, which would have a harmful effect on her and on society:

The harmful effect is that she would never find a husband to take care of her interests, to give her a place to live, to spend on her, to protect her from haraam desires, and to give her children to bring her joy. This may lead to deviance and going astray, except for those on whom Allaah has mercy.

With regard to the harmful effects on society, it is well known that this woman who is left without a husband may deviate from the straight path and follow the ways of promiscuity, so she may fall into the swamp of adultery and prostitution – may Allaah keep us safe and sound – which leads to the spread of immorality and the emergence of fatal diseases such as AIDS and other contagious diseases for which there is no cure. It also leads to family breakdown and the birth of children whose identity is unknown, and who do not know who their fathers are.

Those children do not find anyone to show compassion towards them or any mature man to raise them properly. When they go out into the world and find out the truth, that they are illegitimate, that is reflected in their behaviour, and they become exposed to deviance and going astray. They may even bear grudges against society, and who knows? They may become the means of their country’s destruction, leaders of deviant gangs, as is the case in many nations in the world.

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 06:57

3 – Men are exposed to incidents that may end their lives, for they work in dangerous professions. They are the soldiers who fight in battle, and more men may die than women. This is one of the things that raise the percentage of husbandless women, and the only solution to this problem is plural marriage.

4 – There are some men who may have strong physical desires, for whom one wife is not enough. If the door is closed to such a man and he is told, you are not allowed more than one wife, this will cause great hardship to him, and his desire may find outlets in forbidden ways.

In addition to that, a woman menstruates each month, and when she gives birth, she bleeds for forty days (this post-partum bleeding is called nifaas in Arabic), at which time a man cannot have intercourse with his wife, because intercourse at the time of menstruation or nifaas is forbidden, and the harm that it causes has been proven medically. So plural marriage is permitted when one is able to be fair and just.

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 06:59

5 – Plural marriage does not exist only in the Islamic religion, rather it was known among the previous nations. Some of the Prophets were married to more than one woman. The Prophet of Allaah Sulaymaan (Solomon) had ninety wives. At the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), there were some men who became Muslims who had eight or five wives. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told them to keep four wives and to divorce the rest.

6 – A wife may be barren, or she may not meet her husband’s needs, or he may be unable to have intercourse with her because she is sick. A husband may long to have children, which is a legitimate desire, and he may want to have a s*x life within marriage, which is something permissible, and the only way is to marry another wife. It is only fair for the wife to agree to remain his wife and to allow him to marry another.

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 06:59

7 – A woman may be one of the man’s relatives and have no one to look after her, and she is unmarried or a widow whose husband has died, and the man may think that the best thing to do for her is to include her in his household as a wife along with his first wife, so that he will both keep her chaste and spend on her. This is better for her than leaving her alone and being content only to spend on her.

8 – There are other shar’i interests that call for plural marriages, such as strengthening the bonds between families, or strengthening the bonds between a leader and some of his people or group, and he may think that one of the ways of achieving this aim is to become related to them through marriage, even if that is through plural marriage.

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 07:00

Objection:

Some people may object and say that plural marriage means having co-wives in one house, and that the disputes and enmity that may arise between co-wives will have an effect on the husband, children and others, and this is harmful and should be avoided, and the only way to prevent that is to ban plural marriage.

Response to the objection:

The response to that is that family arguments may occur even when there is only one wife, and they may not even happen when there is more than one wife, as we see in real life. Even if we assume that there may be more arguments than in a marriage to one wife, even if we accept that they may be harmful and bad, the harm is outweighed by the many good things in a plural marriage. Life is not entirely bad or entirely good, but what everyone hopes is that the good will outweigh the bad, and this principle is what applies in the permission for plural marriage.

Moreover, each wife has the right to her own, separate accommodation as prescribed in Islam. It is not permissible for the husband to force his wives to live together in one house.

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 07:00

Another objection:

If we allow men to have plural wives, why are women not allowed to have multiple husbands, why does a woman not have the right to marry more than one man?

Response to this objection:

There is no point in giving a woman the right to marry multiple husbands, rather that is beneath her dignity and she would not know the lineage of her children, because she is the one who bears the offspring, and it is not permissible for the offspring to be formed from the sperm of a number of men lest the lineage of the child be lost and no one will know who is responsible for bringing up the child; this will lead to breakdown of families, loss of ties between fathers and children, which is not permitted in Islam as it is not in the interests of the woman or of the child or of society as a whole.

Al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, part 6, p. 290

AnotherTraveler

Jan 10, 2019 10:15

I don’t see what we said wrong. I don’t like the way you talk about us, but if you want to get technical and use the Quran, then fair enough.
One thing that you should avoid though is to assume that we are copying something from some page.

O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin [49:12]

I’m glad you found the Quran verses about polygamy. As you probably know the Quran gives you a broad understanding of Islam. The rest can be found in ahadith directly or indirectly. - And about Khadija

A'isha reported:
Never did I feel jealous of the wives of Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) but in case of Khadija, although I did no, (have the privilege to) see her. She further added that whenever Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) slaughtered a sheep, he said: Send it to the companions of Khadija I annoyed him one day and said: (It is) Khadija only who always prevails upon your mind. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: Her love had been nurtured in my heart by Allah Himself. Sahih Muslim (English) Book 31, Hadith 5972.

Narrated 'Ali bin Abi Talib:
that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "The best of its women is Khadijah bint Khuwailid, and the best of its women is Mariam bint 'Imran."
Tirmidi (English) Vol. 1, Book 46, Hadith 3877
Arabic reference : Book 49, Hadith 4251

Now I didn’t tell guys not to marry two women or more for that sake, we were just responding why we didn’t want to be second, third or fourth wives cause that’s what the guy who started this debate was asking about.

There’s no need to get offended

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 10:41

To be honest shia is a pure kuffar to talk or hear for me , so I am sorry and apologize sister I don't talk to kuffar. End of debate.

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Mohamed

Jan 10, 2019 10:56

Brother the common people..the non sheikh of Shia are not kufarr

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Deleted User

Jan 10, 2019 11:30

anyone who mocks the faith or mocks the prayer or zakaah or fasting or Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), or who disbelieves in him, or says that he was ignorant or that he did not convey the message in full or convey the message clearly. All such people are kaafirs. We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.

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Deleted User

Jan 11, 2019 11:49

Asalam aleikum jameel muslimeen wa muslimat. Bismillah rahmani raheem. For starters debates are anti islamic in matters related to religion. Debates causes sects for either parties tend to look for reasons to prove they are right and the other is wrong. RELIGION HAS NO ROOM FOR THAT BECAUSE ALLAH IS THE ONLY AUTHOR OF ISLAM AND QURAAN. Surah 30 Ayah 29: "Nay, the wrong doers (merely) follow their own desires being devoid of knowledge. But who will guide those whom Allah leaves astray? To them there will be no helpers." Let us take note of these people who follow their own desires and are devoid of knowledge, and try not to be among them. So ,1;we MUST depend on quran and hadith for our reference of knowledge and NOT our own wishful thinking. If you follow your desires & wishful thinking - the result will be -u will be devoid of knowledge and iblis will use this illiteracy against u to delude u through ur desires and wishful thinking. So once Iblis gets this chance... S4:A119: "I will mislead them, & I will create in them false desires; I will order them to slit the ears of cattle and to deface the (fair) nature created by Allah, Who ever forsaking Allah, takes Satan for a friend, hath of a surety suffered a loss manifest." ... the end result is seen in S4 A120: " Satan makes them promises and creates in them false hopes. But satan's promises are nothing but deception." And I quote the first ayah, "....But who will guide those whom Allah leaves astray? To them there will be no helpers". Brothers and Sisters write these ayat's down and contemplate on them everyday untill u come to accept Islam (TOTAL SUBMISSION OF SELF TO ALLAH). In everything u do ask yourself Am i doing this for Allah's pleasure or am I seeking his anger and displeasure?

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Deleted User

Jan 11, 2019 12:22

S 4 A 125: "Who can be better in religion than one who submits his whole self to Allah, does good, & follows the way of Abraham the true in faith? For Allah did take Abraham for a friend." By Allah's will In sha Allah all who are not ahli sunnah wal jamaah, non Muslims, Every sect in the name of Islam- shia, ahmadiya, wahabbi, suhufi's so on and so forth... Think about which Islam u're following and contemplate what Allah has said S 30 A 32: Those who split up their religion, & become (mere) sects,-each party rejoicing in that which is with itself." With this said deliver yourself to Allah by obediently following his teachings in the quraan and avoiding going against what the quraan has taught. 2nd 3rd and 4th wife is Allah's command even the 1st...... now put considerable attention what are the results if we take this ayat and apply in on our selves and what happens if we reject aits teachings. For women look for a widow and ask them how they perceive life and if she would consider being a second wife then remember u are no better being... ask urself what if it were u a widow with kids and no husband how would u feel the loneliness compared to being singlehandedly. So always learn beyond your selfish desires for the true meaning of islam is we and never me.

 

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