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Is it permissible for a Muslim woman to ask a Muslim man to marry her ..?

Is it permissible for a Muslim woman to ask a Muslim man to marry her ..?

Mustafa Created Jul 30, 2018 22:39
8 Comments

Can a Muslim woman ask a Muslim man to marry her? Does the adeeth also refer to a woman asking a man?
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 1084).
Praise be to Allaah.

We are happy to congratulate you on choosing the path of the Prophets and of the wise, which is Tawheed, the belief in Allaah alone, and the testimony that Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is His Messenger.

With regard to the idea of a Muslim woman offering herself in marriage to a righteous man, that does not contradict the idea of modesty, so long as he is trustworthy with regard to his religious commitment and moral attitude. It was narrated that Thaabit al Banaani said: I was with Anas ibn Maalik and a daughter of his was with him. He said: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and offered herself in marriage to him. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, do you want to marry me?’” The daughter of Anas said: “How little was her modesty. How shameless, how shameless!” Anas said: “She was better than you; she had a liking for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) so she offered herself in marriage to him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4828.

Imam al-Bukhaari included this hadeeth in a chapter which he entitled: “A woman offering herself in marriage to a righteous man.”

Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said:

Ibn al-Munayyir said in al-Haashiyah: One of the subtle points of al-Bukhaari’s knowledge is that he from the specific story of the woman who offered herself in marriage to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) he derived a general principle; he understood that it is permissible for any woman to offer herself in marriage to a righteous man whose righteousness she admires, and if he likes her he may marry her subject to the conditions of marriage being fulfilled.

These two ahaadeeth – the hadeeth of Sahl and the hadeeth of Anas, both of which mention the woman who offered herself in marriage to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) – indicate that it is permissible for a woman to offer herself in marriage to a man, and to let him know that she has a liking for him, and there is nothing wrong with her doing so. And the one to whom a woman offers herself in marriage has the choice of either accepting or refusing, but he does not have to express his refusal outright, rather it is sufficient for him to remain silent.

Fath al-Baari, 9/175.

Al-‘Ayni said:

The words of Anas to his daughter: “She is better than you” indicate that it is permissible for a woman to offer herself in marriage to a righteous man, and to tell him of her liking for him because of his righteousness and virtue, or because of his knowledge and honour, or for some characteristic of religious commitment, and that there is no shame on her if she does that, rather that is a sign of her virtue. The daughter of Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) looked at the externals and she did not understand this properly until Anas said: “She is better than you.” As for the woman who offers herself in marriage to a man for some worldly purpose, this is something that is abhorrent in the extreme.

‘Umdat al-Qaari’ Sharh Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 20/113.

But it is better for a woman to inform her wali (guardian) of her desire to marry a righteous man who is trustworthy with regard to his religious commitment and his moral attitude, without telling the man bluntly. This may be understood from what one of the two women did, when she said to her father – concerning Moosa (peace be upon him):

“And said one of them (the two women): ‘O my father! Hire him! Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy’”

[al-Qasas 28:26 – interpretation of the meaning]

al-Qurtubi said:

With regard to the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“He said: ‘I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you, on condition that you serve me for eight years…’”

[al-Qasas 28:27]

Here the father offered his daughter in marriage to the man. This is an established custom whereby the righteous man of Madyan offered his daughter in marriage to a righteous man of the Children of Israel, ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Uthmaan, and the woman who offered herself in marriage offered herself to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). So it is good for a man to offer his female relative who is under his care in marriage, and for a woman to offer herself in marriage to a righteous man, following the example of the righteous salaf. Ibn ‘Umar said: When Hafsah became single (due to her husband dying), ‘Umar said to ‘Uthmaan: “If you wish, I will marry Hafsah bint ‘Umar to you.” This was narrated only by al-Bukhaari, 4005.

Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 13/271

But it should be noted that most of what happens nowadays, when a woman likes a particular man, is the result of haraam causes, such as a careless attitude on her part whereby she talks to him and sits with him. A person who has evil motives may take advantage of such an offer to achieve some of his aims. So we must beware of this and protect our honour from anything that may besmirch it.

And Allaah knows best.

 

This topic has 10 comments

ally

Jul 31, 2018 20:26

masallah in our deen its allowed but most of the cultures and tradition its not

Mustafa

Jul 31, 2018 22:42

Brother Ally,,, AL Islam is the religion of mercy and kindness, the religion of tolerance and ease. Allah has not burdened this ummah (community, nation) with more than it can bear. Whatever good it does, it will be rewarded for it, and whatever evil it does, it will have to bear the burden of that sin, as Allah says interpretation of the meaning ( Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned ).alBaqarah
Allah has spared the Muslims any difficulty or hardship in all that He has enjoined upon them. Allah says interpretation of the meaning,( He has chosen you (to convey His Message of Islamic Monotheism to mankind by inviting them to His religion of Islam), and has not laid upon you in religion any hardship ).alHajj

Allah is Generous and Kind, He multiplies the reward for good deeds and forgives bad deeds, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, narrating the words of his Lord: “Allah has decreed hasanaat (good deeds) and sayi’aat (bad deeds), then He explained that. Whoever intends to do a good deed then does not do it, Allah will write it down as one complete hasanah; if he intends to do it then he does it, then Allah will write it down as between ten and seven hundred hasanaat, or more. Whoever intends to do a bad deed, then he does not do it, Allah will write it down as one complete hasanah; if he intends to do it then he does it, Allah will write it down as one sayi’ah ,,, narrated by al-Bukhaari.

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Deleted User

Jul 31, 2018 23:49

اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ رَبِّي، لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ، خَلَقْتَنِي وَأَنَا عَبْدُكَ، وَأَنَا عَلَى عَهْدِكَ وَوَعْدِكَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ، أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا صَنَعْتُ، أَبُوءُ لَكَ بِنِعْمَتِكَ عَلَىَّ وَأَبُوءُ لَكَ بِذَنْبِي، فَاغْفِرْ لِي، فَإِنَّهُ لاَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ ‏"‏‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ وَمَنْ قَالَهَا مِنَ النَّهَارِ مُوقِنًا بِهَا، فَمَاتَ مِنْ يَوْمِهِ قَبْلَ أَنْ يُمْسِيَ، فَهُوَ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ، وَمَنْ قَالَهَا مِنَ اللَّيْلِ وَهْوَ مُوقِنٌ بِهَا، فَمَاتَ قَبْلَ أَنْ يُصْبِحَ، فَهْوَ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ ‏
آمين

👰🤰🤱

Mar 24, 2019 08:27

Go girls!!!!

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Deleted User

Mar 31, 2019 06:25

جزاك الله خيرا على هذا النقل وعلينا أن نستغل هذه الفرصة كذلك لتعليم إخواننا وأخواتنا الأعاجم العقيدة الصحيحة والمنهاج القويم

👰🤰🤱

Apr 3, 2019 11:11

Brothers, practically how do we (girls)apply this beautiful blessing in this site when we find a gorgeous profile? 😊

It's ok if we're being rejected, but at least we're doing it right and in honorable way.😎

Some of us could be in this situations
1. Have no wali
2. Can't ask our imam in local mosque to talk to that brother because some places still very conservative. Ask them to do it could be so embarrassing.
3.no one speak english, so in the end you're still the one who has to write or talk.

Amir

Apr 4, 2019 16:16

Story of early Islam was truly impressive, a true brotherhood that got divided into many countries. Only a distant memory today.

Mustafa

Apr 26, 2019 18:20

Assalam Alikoum brothers and sisters,

Sister,, ( Marry me ) It would be a game changer according to most of the cultures around the world, but, yes, a woman can ask a man to marry her, why not!

Let’s pretend to say not because:

* It’s usually done by a man, and now you’re deviating from the norm. Don’t be scared though, you’ll be allright!
* This is quite a harsh point to make but; the man in question is maybe not worthy of a marriage because he’s not asking,
so why should you ask? I do believe that if you feel this man having sincere feelings, and you feel confident in yourself that you can help that man express his feelings. Do the groundwork!

Let’s pretend to say YES because:

* Hell yes, you’re an amazing woman who just likes to get what she wants.
* wrong standards. Screw culture too.
* You’re going to make your life amazing, and doing this is your first step.
* You have caught yourself a fine specimen of male species and would like to keep it.

On a serious note, in all cases it depends on who you are as a personality, and who the man is. I strongly believe, anything in this world is possible, and rules are there to break. So if you feel that this is your moment to shine, don’t hesitate, and don’t have regrets.


👰🤰🤱

May 1, 2019 05:53

Waalaikumsalam
Your long explanation didn't answer my question, looolll.
🤦‍♀️💆‍♀️
And expired already 🎶🎶🎶

👰🤰🤱

May 1, 2019 06:10

Owh btw, why marry you It would be a game changer according to most of the cultures around the world ????
Why ?
Why ?
🤔🤔🤔

 

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